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What can your 20 month old do?

11 replies

Lenald2512 · 17/08/2023 21:02

My son is currently under the care of a developmental paediatrician.

He cannot walk or talk. He has very newly began eating food but it’s not a lot (maybe the equivalent of a meal a day if we’re very lucky).

He recently said Mama but there’s no meaning behind it.

He sometimes blows kisses, he pulls up to stand and crawls. He copies some animal noises.

He loves to dance and is very happy.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
allsaga · 17/08/2023 21:04

All sounds very normal to me . Everyone develops differently.

Lenald2512 · 17/08/2023 21:07

@allsaga Thank you. Unfortunately the many medical professionals he’s seeing right now think differently and so does this Mum of 4 ☺️

I’m more just interested in hearing about what other peoples 20 month olds are doing instead of opinions about my lo.

OP posts:
ThelastRolo20 · 17/08/2023 21:19

Hi @Lenald2512 my DD is coming up for 20 months. She's walking/ running, eats three meals a day (I think that is unusual to be honest!). Can name her family, animal sounds, some friends names, some fruits, and has started to try and sing (baby shark of all the choices).

So glad your lo is getting the support they need x

JohnnysMama · 17/08/2023 21:29

my niece is 20 months old. She’s walking, running, climbing. Says two, three words sentences, knows the names of her immediate and extended family up to first cousins. Tries to sing favourite nursery rhymes, dances. She also comments on what she sees, points, responds to greetings. Joins play groups and follows simple instructions in the group setting. She also knows when she has a dirty nappy after doing a poo, but doesn’t manage to do it on potty on time yet.

MumofSpud · 17/08/2023 21:31

My 19 month old DGD can
dance / walk/ run
'Read' books to the dog
Follow instructions v well
Eat x3 meals a day feeding herself
Drink using a straw (I don't remember my DC doing this til later!)
Babble a lot
Starting to make sentences - 'bye mama, mama gone' 'go to bed' (to Dog!)

jannier · 17/08/2023 21:32

Your son is developing at his rate and you're getting support for him to help him achieve the best he can, many parents at this stage are still in denial. That's brilliant well done. I'm not sure comparing him to others will help in any way or what you're hoping for? There will be some with more of a delay and many more ahead in areas your son may well assuming you've not had any diagnoses have gifts in areas yet to emerge who knows, is he happy and is he loved?

Lenald2512 · 17/08/2023 21:38

Thank you all for your responses, your children all sound so cute 🥰 I hope they are very happy!!

@jannier I’m more just curious, I’ve forgotten what my others were doing at 20 months, just that they were more developed.

I adore my perfect son and he is so happy. Just looking for realistic ideas of how delayed he is, I want to be on the ball as much as possible.

OP posts:
jannier · 17/08/2023 23:50

Lenald2512 · 17/08/2023 21:38

Thank you all for your responses, your children all sound so cute 🥰 I hope they are very happy!!

@jannier I’m more just curious, I’ve forgotten what my others were doing at 20 months, just that they were more developed.

I adore my perfect son and he is so happy. Just looking for realistic ideas of how delayed he is, I want to be on the ball as much as possible.

Have you looked at the birth to five frameworks or what to expect when document....also the original developmental matters document in the EYFS pre 2021?

Lenald2512 · 18/08/2023 08:43

No, I haven’t but I would like to. How can I do that please?

So you work with children in some sort of professional capacity?

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 18/08/2023 09:44

Unfortunately I would agree with the Op and say that it is worth looking further. It may be that something clicks and all becomes "normal" but if it doesn't then early help is invaluable. On their own what she's listed can easily be "normal" but together it's a bigger picture.

What I'd say is:
Not walking at 20 months is unusual. I was always told 18 months was the point that they started noting it as late. Almost all those I knew who were noted at 18 months as not walking, were either walking by 19 months or had a diagnosis of some description.
I did know one bum-shuffler who was about 20 months, apparently they do tend to walk later, but you said he is crawling.
Not all the diagnosis were particularly life effecting, the most common one being hypermobility.

Talking: Well, if he's making animal noises, then he may be within "normal" limits. I think they used to say 6 "appropriate sounds" at 18 months which would include animal sounds.
Does he babble? Does he make eye contact and look like he's having a conversation with you? Is it possible he's trying to say words and not managing to pronounce them? (My dbro had a severe speech impediment where he tried to talk but was totally incomprehensible. I'll add that he probably nowadays would have been diagnosed as high functioning ASD, but, other than a couple of sounds he can't make, you'd never know as an adult)
Can he try to blow bubbles? I don't think any of mine could at that age, but it's good for the formation of the mouth (according to the speech therapist we had!)

Newly eating food: That's an interesting one. I had a cousin who refused all solids until she was about 4yo. I'm talking about totally refusing, including flavoured milk. I remember the celebrations when they finally found a "solid" she was eat. it was only "Smash" but it was a big thing. She is an adult now and has no other issues, in fact once she really started eating you wouldn't have even called her fussy.
My middle one didn't refuse food at 20 months, but was definitely not a keen eater-unless it was chocolate. She refused anything solid in her mouth until about 9 months which was when her big sister put a chocolate button into her mouth. A week later she had a lick of ice cream, and after that did start eating some solids. Reluctantly mostly. At 20 months the only things I could guarantee she would eat was chocolate or tinned sweetcorn. Eating the equivalent of a meal a day would have been good for her. It was often one bite of bread, and a pile of sweetcorn.
So it could be normal, again, I'd look at it as part of a bigger picture.

No meaning behind "mama": Does he say "mamamamama" or "mama" because just the shorter one could be a good sign. It shows that he is trying words rather than babbling.
I'd move on from that and ask what his understanding is like. If you call him by his name, does he respond? If you said to him "fetch me your shoe"/"come here" would he do that?
If he understands, then again very positive.

Also is he developing further? If he's gaining new skills weekly, then that's a good sign. It means he's moving on. If he hasn't really changed anything since 18 months, say, then he is falling further behind.

I'd say from the individual things you've written is that he could suddenly have a burst and catch up. But the fact there's a number of things he's on the low side of development, that makes it less likely-but not impossible.

I'd push for being referred, especially to things like speech therapist, because there can be a big wait. If he doesn't need it by the time he's reached the top of the waiting list, then you can always refuse it.
Remember that diagnosis doesn't change the gorgeous lovely boy you always have had.
It gives you access to help he needs and you can advocate for him to get that. Don't be afraid to push-no one else will.

Molly273 · 04/10/2024 11:51

Lenald2512 · 17/08/2023 21:07

@allsaga Thank you. Unfortunately the many medical professionals he’s seeing right now think differently and so does this Mum of 4 ☺️

I’m more just interested in hearing about what other peoples 20 month olds are doing instead of opinions about my lo.

Hi how’s your DS now ? ☺️

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