talk me down - neighbour with baby kissed 7 month baby

[peggyjean]

I am posting as I have never been so angry in my whole life - I take our elderly neighbour shopping once a week on my day off work, when I picked her up today she had a cold sore on her lip. I get them myself so I know how horrible they make you feel, but have always, even before the children but especially SINCE, been very very careful when I have an outbreak, I wash my hands all the time, obv don't kiss them or share glasses etc. Anyway after she has got her shopping, I take my neighbour back to our car, get the kids in their seats, then leave her with them while I run her trolley back to the trolley bit - gone 30 seconds max, but as I come back she is KISSING my 7 month old baby on the arm and cheek! I am so freaked out, I am struggling to keep it together though doing so obviously, but I am just so so angry. I could barely talk to her on the way home! She is 80 but my mum is 78 and gets them and knows you don't kiss people when you have one. I am feeling so anxious, the baby is still so small...has anyone else had something like this happen and it come to nothing? I do know how common the virus is but I have suffered with them very badly which makes me so sad to think of my beautiful little daughter suffering in the same way...help...

She will most likely be fine. My dh gets them and didn't know not to kiss the kids when he has one, they have been fine and he didn't do it again.
Try not to worry x

thank you trev...you've helped me stop hyperventilating a bit! x

At seven months she is past the dangerous age for this.

But honestly who would do that?! I get cold sores, I won't go near a baby with an active sore.

Can you say for future reference “Mrs X not sure if you would have heard but the advice now is not to gave any close contact like kissing with babies and young children so please be careful with baby, no kissing” - ?

“… when you have a cold sore” I meant to say

what??!! Seriously. RELAX!

yes I'm going to do that next time I see her, I should have done it at the time, I was just in a flap.

I know it might seem like an overreaction to some but when you get them badly, as I do, they are very painful and impact your life in a way that no-one wants for their child.

thank you for the reassurances x

i thought it was just not kissing on lips…. am I totally wrong? will say then 3 kidsall fine as I occasionally get them and kissed cheeks etc.

No, it's not just on the lips. The virus can show up in other places. OP, have you washed the relevant areas thoroughly with warm, soapy water? Then dry with kitchen paper/tissue and discard. I do this if I accidentally touch my cold sore and then another area of skin. And I also clean with alcohol hand gel just after if it's somewhere that that can be used on like the arm, but I have no idea if that's safe for a baby.

YANBU. And you’re being far too nice, I’d have gone mad

yes I quickly slathered the areas in hand sanitiser in the carpark (don't use this on the babies usually but it felt like the lesser of two evils in the moment), then washed with warm soapy water when we got home...

but thanks Winch anyway as your comment made me feel better!

Anyway, YADNBU. I can't imagine what runs through people's heads sometimes. I just can't imagine kissing someone's baby randomly, cold sore or not!

This happened to my baby when she was 4 months old. An elderly friend kissed her on the lips with an active cold sore!!! I was beside myself like you (so shell-shocked at the time I didn't even say anything!). I'd never wished so much that I could turn back time and take my baby away before she could kiss her and really beat myself up for not seeing it coming. I was right there when it happened.

DD is now 2 and has had no ill effects. It's still at the back of my mind that she may develop cold sores later in life but seeing as she's been fine up to now despite having a baby's undeveloped immune system, hopefully she will be OK.

Also to add that I read the entire Internet when it happened and found a lot of similar stories and the babies were always fine. I couldn't believe how common it seemed for babies to be kissed by someone with a cold sore who didn't know any better. There's a real lack of awareness around this!

'Talk me down'

come on OP, be sensible

Neonatal herpes is only a true danger to babies under 6 weeks so please don’t worry.

Yanbu!! My ds got the herpes virus from reception class at the age of 5. His mouth was full of sores, temperature on and off for more than two weeks! I took him to the gp twice, because it seemed like he wasting away with the lack of food and drink he was able to withstand (too sore to eat).
Im sure you managed to kill the virus off with your antibac wipes, but i would be freaked out too. But im sure you caught it in time.

thanks so much all, really appreciate your comments.

I am really sorry for you and your ds Dresserss, it's such a common virus but it can be really nasty - I've heard lots of stories of kids getting one outbreak then nothing after that or only very mildly so hope that is the case for you.

Kissingbabies very grateful for your comforting post, you sound just like me, reading the whole internet! And I know exactly what you mean about that wishing you could turn back time feeling, I've spent all afternoon wishing I hadn't left them alone.

Katey, I guess that's fair enough, it's a melodramatic phrase but my kids are still very young, I think it's natural to be upset if someone puts them in harm's way, even if that's through ignorance. But I know there are worse things happening in the world.