Really worried about my 3 year old eating

[Claire2630]

My three year old son, will not eat potatoes, rice, pasta, any meat, any veg, any fruit. He literally lives on custard, granola bars, yogurt rice cakes, yops, vanilla ice cream. I'm seriously worried, it goes through my head like could he get diabetes, it's all sugar he's eating. Anyone have a grown up child that was like that at one stage??

Any advice or stories would be much appreciated. He has an appointment soon with the paediatrics and I want to make the most out of it with questions, I've started a food diary, I really hope they can help me. Thanks 👍

Your dc is at very high risk to become malnorished, anemic and develope Ricketts as well as diabetes and obesity and rotten teeth. You have to get rid of all that sweet food. What did he eat before he was introduced to sugar? Take him to his doctor for some guidance, they may recomend a nutritionist. But get rid of all that junk food.

Why does he have an appointment with paediatrics? Is there other concerns more generally about his health and development?

@Claire2630 what does he eat for his actual meals?! Did he eat more variety previously?

Are you a doctor?

Oh crossvposted! Good, you have taken steps to get him on a good diet plan. I think they can advise you. Meanwhile as you wait, maybe you can try them on nutritional drinks like PaediaSure Shake Balanced Nutritional Supplement as they are sweet and your dc may like them. Will they eat the custard with fruit added?

My DD got to one and ate five foods, we sought help from the GP and was referred to the dieticians. We also used solid start’s picky eating advice, which is written by qualified medical professionals which helped immensely. She’s 3 now and a significantly better eater, she still won’t eat any form of potato though!

Don't worry, it is a stage and he will survive it. He needs private pediatric nutritionist and the rainbow food games. Not many people on mumsnet understand these types of things but they are more common than many people even in the NHS imagine.

Easy to say get rid of this get rid of that when it's all your child will eat. I also have a very fussy 3 year old who will only eat limited stuff. She ate anything and everything as a baby but now she is extremely fussy. My older 3 are not like this - even the one with severe autism.

3 year old lives on toast with marmite, toast with peanut butter, French toast, lasagne, grapes, berries, yoghurt, cottage pie. And little else. I'm hoping she improves as she gets older.

Oh shush @Forgottenmypasswordagain

Way to make a worried parent feel absolutely terrible.

@Claire2630 I have way too much experience of restricted eating because I have two autistic kids that have always had major sensory issues with food, not to mention demand avoidance over trying new foods. It was hell when my first child was the same age yours is now. Over the years I’ve had to lower my standards when it comes to my lofty pre-motherhood ideas about healthy balanced eating 🙃

What you describe definitely isn’t unusual. I’ve heard of plenty of children with diets like yours. And none of them have rickets, rotten teeth or diabetes.

Fed is best. You can’t force feed them. You can only hope it’s a particularly awful phase and things will get better. If they don’t, it’s worth being aware of ARFID.

As it stands right now, as long as your child is a healthy weight and is growing, keep on trucking.

So he doesn't eat meals. I still put dinner on front of him but he roars to get it away from him. He used to eat all I gave him until he hit that 18 month Mark and he got picky and it just went downhill. I've been in touch with the doctor and they've sent him on to the paediatrics to check his health, make sure he's getting on ok. He'll eat crackers and butter or bread and butter either, it's driving me nuts.

VivaVivaa · Today 21:40
Why does he have an appointment with paediatrics? Is there other concerns more generally about his health and development?

very wise question, Viva

to the mum: make sure you do not turn your son into hypochondriac, because there are many well meaning people out there, who point fingers instead of helping

@Claire2630 that sounds incredibly challenging OP! I don’t have any experience so can’t give much in the way of advice - although it sounds like there are some other parents here with much more experience 😊

If you use Instagram - have a look for ‘Dietician Lottie’. She’s an NHS and private Paediatric Dietician and also has a son who’s almost 3 and has been through a really rough eating journey and faltering growth. She’s documented it over the last few years, including all the tips and tricks she uses to try and introduce foods, and all about the nutritional aspect.
Some of her stuff might be helpful in your situation 😊

Aw your super kind jellycats4life, that must have been seriously hard going. I worry about the sugar in everything he eats you know. I have read something about that Arfids, maybe the paediatrics will be able to help with knowing that?

My son is my fourth as well Lemieux and by far the worst, they all went through a stage but they ate something good I could keep them going on, he eats nothing good. Your little one does well to eat the grapes, berries COTTAGE PIE, now I'm envious 😊

I will definitely have a look at the rainbow game, maybe the paediatrics will look at the shakes for him?? He used to eat raisins in his custard but he stopped that one day as well.

I will do I'll have a look might pick something up, thanks a million for your reply 😊

Beverly Ha what do you mean?

I know it's a worry OP but 3 year olds are all about learning to control themselves and their environment.
This is likely a phase and will pass. Carry on offering a variety and always some foods he likes. Never obviously worry and let him play/get messy. Don't let your anxiety affect him. Don't worry about offering him a formal meal: a plate with 5 bites of things he knows he likes and 2 he's not sure of but you are eating at every mealtime is fine. If you raise it with the paediatric consultant you'll be offered additional help.
One of mine only ate things with 'dip' for a year or so: I puréed all sorts ( stew, mash and cheese, peas, root veggies etc) to make 'dip' for months 😀.
Good luck.

This is just the opposite of helpful.
3 year olds don't get type 2 diabetes as they require a higher proportion of carbs than adults.
OP can top up with drops in the short term for vitamins and minerals, and eggs and dairy(already eaten) are good sources of protein.

My now grown adult child was just like yours, and I understand your worries.
He went from eating well to gradually turning food away and lived on biscuits alone, at its very worst.
I have no idea why as I had 2 other children and we all ate well and ate together etc.
All I can advise is to try your hardest not to make the food they eat or not eat,a big deal as it adds to the overall issue, as frustrating as it is. It wasn't easy to start with but it did work.
I did keep serving family meals, and gradually, things improved and he just slowly learned to eat what was there.
I still remember it being really stressful though.

Thanks ODFO 😊 Yes, that's something else I'd forgotten digestive biscuits with butter, I figured they were better than chocolate ones. 😁 Were the same we all sit at the table together and eat. I will try you know yourself trying to bite your tongue when he's screaming for a granola bar at dinnertime 🙃 Thanks though it helps to hear a good news story ❤️

Also good to know about the diabetes, I didn't know that, that's a relief 👍

I have 2 picky eaters. Its very hard to deal with as a mother and the anxiety over their nutrition. My older one is 11 now and much better. The 8 year old I am still struggling with. I've tried lots of strategies but what has worked best is completely removing all pressure to make them eat or try foods they don't want to and family meals served buffet style so they choose what to put on their plate. I always include one or 2 of their safe foods in the dinner buffet (even if its something weird that doesn't go with anything else). We make meal times be about enjoyable conversation and eachothers company rather than about the food (can be hard). The book Extremely Picky Eating has loads of good advice.

Things that might widen his palate, gradually, that you could let everyone have as a treat to try and then let all the DC critique (improves his ownership/control):

Rice pudding, with or without a little spoon of jam for the fruitiness.
Dairylea on his digestives; the others get to open their own triangle 'for fun' first and then see if he wants a go.
Dip: if he likes rice cakes and digestives then offer them with pots of different dips to try: yogurt, maple syrup, coulis, tomato ketchup; anything to make the trying fun. Again, try making it a family game so everyone gets something new.
Ice cream: if he likes vanilla try blitzing frozen bananas: it's really quick to make and if he likes it he's eaten a piece of fruit!
Jelly: make with half the water, then once it is cold and syrupy whisk through the remaining volume of evaporated milk to make a sort of set mousse. If you set it on a biscuit base you can call it a pie!
Cereal: if he can eat a granola bar he can eat granola. If he can eat granola he can eat cheerios. Both are lovely with yogurt.
Basically just keep stretching the bandwidth a tiny bit until more foods are acceptable, but never push a plate full of the unfamiliar until trying new things is perceived positively ( which will take a little while).

I'm sorry if I'm teaching my grandmother to suck eggs: just ideas that helped me back in the day.

Not at all really appreciate that thanks a million 😁 I like the buffet style idea too, I've started leaving things on the table in bowls on front of him at dinner time and pretending there mine just so he'll tolerate the type of food near him, I feel like a crazy person at times. My eldest is 10 and has come on so we'll but like you my 8 year old isn't there yet and has a very weak stomach🙄. Thank you so much guys for all the info 💖

How’s your soon doing now ? ☺️