Covid and heart defects

[Whambam2023]

Hello
I had covid when I was 7 weeks pregnant and my beautiful daughter was born with a congenital heart defect. It wasn’t picked up on any scans so we didn’t find out until she was born.
I can’t stop blaming myself. Does anyone know if there is a link between covid in early pregnancy and CHD? Am I torturing myself for nothing?
The medical staff I’ve spoken to have reassured me but I can’t seem to accept it.
Thanks

Is it a patent foramen ovale OP

If so about 25% of the population are born with it.

Please stop torturing yourself, I'm sure you didn't plan to get ill while you were pregnant and if you start googling you will be down a conspiracy rabit hole it 2 - 3 clicks.

No she required surgery at a few days old it was a very rare defect

Sorry OP

Is she better now?

I still stand by stop beating yourself up though, you have no way of knowing and if it was related to covid you couldn't have done differently.

Our DS was born with a congenital heart defect 16 years ago so definitely not covid related. He had to have a procedure to save his life at two weeks old. It's tough to think you're having a relatively healthy baby only to find out it's a procedure or say goodbye within a month (which is what we were told). Hard to digest and come to terms with in a short space of time.

There is absolutely no way of knowing where his came from. There's absolutely no way of knowing where your DD's came from.

Please don't beat yourself up over it - you will, we did, but try not to do it too much or too deeply.

I analysed every thing I had done, every thing that I'd eaten or drank to try to work out if it was 'my fault'. Which is madness really.

Now his heart condition is just part of his life. It's under control, he manages it very well and he is fit (for a person with a heart condition).

I hope everything goes well with your DD.

@Whambam2023
My 2nd daughter was born missing her hand below the elbow. It's very easy to start wondering if you'd done something, even accidentally, to cause it.
I had a sickness bug in early pregnancy, and my first reaction was to think of that and wonder if it was that. Then I remembered a very rattly bus I'd been on... well you can see from that how determined I was to find it was something I'd done. Even when the specialists (kindly) told me there was nothing I'd done I was still wondering.

Even the scientists have no idea why this happens to around 60 children a year in the UK.

The reality is though that the vast majority of things like that are just "one of those things".
What I was told though, is that for the missing arm, is that if something had been done that had caused it, it typically causes more than just one problem. For example a drug (like thalidomide) always effected both arms (that's not saying if it effects both sides then it is something you've done, it can also be genetic, and also unknown).
So if it's only her heart effected then there's a good chance it's just "one of those things".

Let's say it was Covid though. If it's a rare condition, then there's been enough people round the world with Covid when pregnant for scientists to be saying "hmm, there's a bit of a blip here, let's take a look, why have we got 12 children in the Uk with it in a time scale we'd expect to only see 6". Yes, it would take time, but people were on high alert during Covid for looking out for such things, so I think there would have been something picked up.

I hope she's better now and the surgery is successful to a point she won't need more.

My son was born with a very rare congenital heart defect and required life saving surgery at a week old. I get for a long time ( until I had therapy ) that I had / must have done something. Having therapy allowed me to put it to rest. But it’s worth knowing heart defects are relatively common, I think it’s 1 in 100. My son’s surgeon said once considering how the heart is formed he’s amazed it’s not more common.
so no lovely, it’s not anything you’ve done by having Covid or otherwise. X

I have a congenital heart defect, I’m 47 so definitely not covid related. Just one of those things. DS was screened in utero but does not have a similar condition.

It’s a bit of an issue when I have dental treatment and when I gave birth. Other than that, very little problem, although I did get an extra covid booster (never asked to shield though).

You need to stop torturing yourself OP. Even if the heart problem was caused by you having covid, it's hardly your fault - it was everywhere, pretty much everyone got it. What are you meant to do - tell the airborne, very contagious virus - no not me, come back in 8 months time and you can get me then? It doesn't work like that. Nobody chooses to get covid. Hope your kid is doing ok now.

I think the thing I can’t forgive myself for is agreeing to look after my colleagues son even though he had a stinking cold (or Covid) because I didn’t want to put her out by saying I couldn’t do it and it was so early on in the pregnancy I didn’t want to tell her I was pregnant. So basically I put that before the safety of my unborn child and then look what happened

@Whambam2023

You are looking for blame.

Your body did a wonderful thing, it grew an entirely new human being. That is amazing.

When my mum was pregnant with me she was exposed to rubella (this was before the vaccine) she was in a similar position, playing with a relative's child not knowing the child was ill.

You have a beautiful daughter, she needs a mother who will support and nurture her.

Do you think her father is torturing himself?

Maybe it would be worth you speaking to a professional OP- there are some great perinatal services available to women who have had babies- with good reason.

I don’t think there is anything we can say here apart from to share our experiences and also to share that what you are feeling is ‘normal’ but in terms of helping you to feel better and to properly feel it’s not your fault may take a little more work.

you did a nice thing for your friend minding her son. And unless you had sealed yourself off in a vacuum for the full 9 mths then you would have bumped into loads of different illnesses etc. that is a normal part of life and not one you can control.

you’re a good mother and one who clearly loves her child. But don’t forget to love you too with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a friend in your situation. You did nothing wrong. But it is very traumatic having a child with an additional need a birth ( esp if unexpected) I found engaging in CBT therapy an absolute lifesaver. X

Thank you. I’ve got a counselling session booked today, the first I’ve had in a long time so should hopefully help.

May I ask what chd your son was born with? My daughter was born with TAPVR. How is he doing now?

He was born with pulmonary atresia with intact ventricular septum (PA/IVS). And I worried and worried and worried about him. I worried because I couldn’t hold him after birth, because I saw his o2 stats drop to in the 50s one night, I worried for so many reasons and then I was also really horrible to myself when we did eventually get out of hospital because I was aware not all the children got to go home and I should have been ‘happy’ as I was ‘lucky’ so I kept thinking why couldn’t I be grateful I had my child at home. Anyway, to cut a long story short coming up his first birthday I went for counselling, and could finally ‘feel’ the things I think i ‘knew’.

How is he now? He’s wonderful! We go back for checkups each year and he will need future surgeries but we don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow. There’s no point. He’s happy and lovely and a naughty little shit sometimes- so a perfect little kid!

best of luck with it all. Sounds like you’ve had a rough time. Go easy on yourself

@Whambam2023

Counselling sounds like a good idea and @Partyballoons That is invaluable advice, it must have been hard to go through that (understatement of the year) and a little bit of me is celebrating your ds being naughty sometimes.

😀me too @sashh I remember in the beginning thinking I’d never ever be able to tell him off or have him upset with me as I was just so glad he was with us and I wanted to protect him and keep him happy and safe…….those days have passed 😂😂 and he gets in trouble and reprimanded with the rest of them!!! ( and that’s how it should be. Just ‘normal’.)

I have a CHD, as does my mother and my teen daughter. I think 1 in a 100 babies are born with one.

I am pleased you are getting counselling. If you are on Facebook there is a UK one called Patches that is very supportive to those with a child with a CHD.