Teenage bedwetting

[Boysboysboys23]

Basically this. We started to see someone about it but lockdowns and eventual closure of clinic and then ds refusing to take tablets has meant we have just dealt with it. Now just 14yrs and still happening a couple of times a week. Feels like a constant battle and he acts as though he doesn't care and just gets angry when I try to talk. I feel so fed up.
I had thought of getting some period type pants if those even exist for boys to help but no idea what to look for really.
Also don't know if it will just improve with age now or if need to go back to gp .

Any ideas or advice about what to do . Am totally at my wits end here.

Statistically it's more common than you think, especially if you and/or your husband were late to toilet train at night. At 14 he can choose whether or not he takes the medication but you can lay some ground rules too. He should wear incontinence pads or at least have a waterproof mattress protector. Teach him to wash his sheets if you want, not as a punishment, because this should never be punished, but to take responsibility for managing it. Maybe he'll be more willing to find a solution when he's having to do the work of managing it too.

Yes, have been thinking of that as wonder if leaving it is down to being embarrassed. Agree not making it a punishment and have never made him feel like that but inside I feel so frustrated. He hates the disposable pants so was even thinking of period pants as have seem some shaped like shorts. Anyone tried this at all?

Why won't he take the tablets, I found the desmopression to be very effective, is that worth revisting?

I don't think it would be wrong to say 'the meds or the night wear'. There must be a lot of options aimed at adults as disabled and elderly people, and even people with just long term bed wetting, need them. I hope you have the mattress protected at least. Beds are expensive!

Meds, no idea why he won't take them. Wasn't desmopressin but something else to stretch the bladder. Mattress def protected.

One of mine didn't want a mattress protector. I told them they had to have one when I got them their third mattress. Sometimes we just have to manage things.

I was a bed wetter until late teens ,just once / twice a week.
Had attended various clinics . I just eventually stopped aged about 18/ 19 .
The main advice I would give is not to get angry with your son . He really will already be despairing,even if not outwardly showing his distress .

Ds takes the tablets. The odd time he refused he was expected to sort his own laundry out.
He now takes the tablets...
Imo his medical issue has a solution.. He refuses to use that solution he washes his stuff.

Lots of useful info here

https://eric.org.uk/help-for-you/

I would try to get back into the clinic. My son is 11 and under the disability team. But he is highly motivated not to wet the bed on school trips. So find a motivating reason that would benefit him.

Very random but my DD was the same until age 11. As a last resort we took her for cranial osteopathy expecting very little and she stopped within a few sessions - could have just been a coincidence but could be worth a try. We'd tried everything suggested by ERIC and desmopressin and nothing worked.

Thanks all. Def going to try and talk about tablets again. Have never got cross with him about it as feel he must feel in inside even if wont show it to me. Will insist on him washing if he doesn't want to take tablets and see where that leads us to.
Here's hoping.

There are lots of adult size incontinence wear about but there's no getting away from the fact that they look like nappies. All the ones marketed as looking like boxers etc are designed for daytime leaks, not full on nighttime incontinence, they just won't hold the volume.

Ds2 is 13 and we have the same op. He takes desmo now but without it, he will still wet nightly. It's been especially hard for him lately as Dc3 is nearly 6 and just come out of night time pull ups as he's reliably dry...very difficult to navigate that one!

We were under a specialist incontinence clinic who were totally unconcerned and said it will likely stop before he's 16 and if not by then, to go back. So although it gets rarer, it's still considered 'normal' at 14/15.

We had a bit of a fight with ds to take the meds too and no idea why. But he refused to take meds or would outright lie and say he had when he hadn't - and in the end he had an ultimatum of meds or adult nappies and he chose meds.

We've also had several arguments about selfish handling of laundry - ie ds stripping his bed and dumping it in the bathroom on top of a pile of dirty clothes, which then get covered in urine too.

In your shoes I would definitely give him an ultimatum of meds or nappies and be ready for an argument and to need to lose your shit if you must.

Cranial osteopathy...that might be an idea. I am honestly willing to try anything.

BelindaMelinda it's sounds so much like my life what your wrote. So difficult. Feel like it is ultimatum time one way or another as it need to be more responsible. When there is a possible solution I just don't understand why he is resistant. I take hayfever tablets and would be a mess without them.

Ds(9) is such a deep sleeper & wet every night until recently. He sees incontinence specialist who tried him with desmomelt a year or so ago & then alarm but neither worked. For 6 months or so we lifted him after 2 hrs for a dream pee which meant mostly dry mornings but tbh wasn't really fixing the problem. A month or so ago, the specialist suggested returning to desmomelts which I wasn't overly confident about but literally from night 1 of taking them again, he has been dry every single night & all dream peeing has stopped! The desmomelts 2nd time around have worked a charm so absolutely delighted & tbh require hardly no effort. (Tablet literally melts under the tongue, no drinks 1 hr before bed or during the night) Keep persevering & hopefully something will work for him. The teens are esp tricky & I think especially teen boys would be embarrassed & ego may be dented. Its a sensitive subject & affects a lot more people than we think. Good luck with it all 👍

My son took desmopressin until about the same age when a new doctor diagnosed constipation. We'd never suspected that - he was super regular. But movicol started and the bed wetting stopped. However his brother was a bedwetter until late so maybe it was coincidence.

We still get occasional issues - he's a deep sleeper, so we have mattress protectors and hippy chick bed protectors (thick cotton type).

We've been prescribed but never tried the oxybutynin. He wasn't keen so we just deal with daytime continence issues.

Sorry to jump off topic a little. Do you know of any nappies pull ups or pads good for a 14 year old just for a few weeks? He’s been in ICU and had a cathater in for over a week now he having incontinent issues but they said that could last a few weeks. We came home after 17 days in hospital they gave us pull ups but are running low now. Again sorry to jump off topic I’m a bit desperate

My son was very late. 9 I think. In the end an alarm worked within 2 weeks. It was more than an alarm though. There was this whole system, I think much of the add on stuff was more psychological though, designed to get the child emotionally invested.

All my kids were quite late. And even when they were dry at night, they all still had to get up to wee until at least 13. My view was I didn’t care about them being able to ‘hold it’ until morning, I just wanted them to wake when they needed to go. I did spend a fair bit on the alarm system. IIRC the key was it had to wake me (as well as him), and the second it went off I would fly out of bed and shake him awake (this was very important) BEFORE he had finished weeing. The alarm was piercingly loud. The first few nights I had to wake him in time so he could finish in the loo. After a week or so the alarm would wake him and he’d get up and I’d quickly whip off the sheet and pop a new one on. He was dry in about two and a half weeks. ‘Dry’ meant he’d learned to wake to the sensation of a full bladder.

My understanding is that there is some hormone that kicks in that slows the production of urine overnight. I’m positive it kicked in really late with my kids as they all had to get up once or even twice in the night to pee for ages. The difference is the girls learned to wake themselves, but my son needed to be ‘programmed’ to wake.

I'm in the same situation but my son is now 16 and wakes soaking wet most mornings. We've tried reward systems when he was littler, lifting, desmopressin, bed alarms. Hypotherapy is the only thing that has helped him, he managed a couple of completely dry months. However he's now relapsed after being concussed at rugby. We were under the care of the pediatric urology clinic but are now being referred to adult services and the next step is to prescribe imipramine which is an anti-depressant, which I'm keen to avoid. I'm trying not to make a bit deal about it (I'm aware it's not conscious behaviour) but I am sick with worry about the future for him. Would welcome any tips.

You can get some men’s boxers by Tena that are pricey but do look like normal boxers and offer some protection. We ended up spending a lot of money on a bed alarm which we used religiously for two weeks - getting up every time, logging the incidents and by some miracle it worked and we have been ‘incident’ free for a year now (13-14 years) after many years of frustration (mostly from DS)
i can’t remember the brand but it was from ERIC

Thanks. Have ordered the TENA boxers. Agree that perhaps next step is going back to the alarm or desmopressin or both. MIL has invited us to stay 2 nights for xmas so dreading that scenario.