Friend wanting to bring sick child to party...

[partybum]

So my best pal, has a little girl who has had a virus the last couple of days. High temp of 39.7. She's had antibiotics from the Docs today for her.

My daughter's party is on Saturday. Trampoline/soft play set up. I personally don't think friend should be coming as her daughter still has a temp & the party is less than 48 hours away, going by the usual nursery/preschool 48 hour rule.

There will be 20 something other kids there and I appreciate they could be vomiting or have a high temp right this second & the parents could still decide to bring them & I'd never know. Thing is I DO know. And I'm not comfortable with her bringing her daughter (lovely as she is) if she's still got a temp with less than 48 hours until party KO.

Am I being unreasonable? I've never been in this situation before so interested to hear others thoughts.

No, you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn’t like this either.

@SirVixofVixHall I was sort of hoping she would volunteer to not come as usually she's pretty sensible but she hasn't so far which leaves me in a potentially difficult situation.

What are the antibiotics for, if she's got a virus? What is actually wrong with her? I mean, she could have a UTI, or an ear infection or something.

When is the party? With antibiotics I've always thought that once you'd had 48 hours on them you weren't contagious anymore.

@WeWereInParis All she's said was her Doctor said the DD had red ears & throat & so they have given ABs.. assuming it must be particularly bad/inflamed as in my experience they rarely have ever given my DC ABs for the same issue.

What time did she start the antibiotics for the ear/throat infection? What time is the party?

@Marchforward I think she started them around 3/4pm today. Party is at 10am Saturday.

I thought D&V was 48 hours not fevers and colds. I'd have thought she'd be well on the mend after 48 hours on AB and would expect to play it by ear on the day.

My kid's nursery usually asks for 24 hours without temperature for the kid's to be brought in. Can you ask her to k maybe not bring her DC to the party if she still has fever tomorrow morning?

My friend, who is a senior highly qualified nurse, brought her toddler to a Christmas party at my house with lots of other adults and kids. Her toddler started vomiting all over his dad/ the floor in the middle of the party and my friend casually mentioned their son had had a vomiting bug for a few days! I couldn't believe it! Also, no one else got ill. Christmas miracle.

@suzyscat That's interesting as ours is 48 hours for both.

@ShopoholicIn I think that's a good compromise. Just hoping she understands if that is the case tomorrow.

HCP can be the best or the worst for spreading it. When you know if you don't get it from the kids you will get it at work you forget most people avoid viruses.

OP if the little one on antibiotics it doesn't sound viral so if little one is well in themselves I wouldn't be concerned.

@Elsanore Wow, now that is ignorant. Thank goodness no one else got sick! Why would the friend have taken their child?! It beggars belief.

I do think by Saturday she could be a lot better and be totally fine to be at the party.

The 48 hour rule is for D&V, not general illnesses like this.

Let the parent decide if she's well enough, you don't need to get involved.

Nhs guidance for strep A just as an example is 24hrs of antibiotics then ok to return to school nursery. If she is better, no temp and had antibiotics for 24hrs I think that's OK.

If she's been given AB's then it's not a virus, in which case the AB's should be working by the time the party comes round and temp should be down.

DS's nursery don't even send home with a temp - if the child is otherwise presenting ok and calpol reduces it, and there is no time limit for staying off following a temp.

Older DS's school is also very much "if child feels well enough to be on school, they can be in school" (aside from the 48hr D&V rule obviously)

Our nursery is they can return after 24 hours of antibiotics, so she should be fine for Saturday on that basis (obviously if she's feeling well enough).

I think maybe because she's a nurse and has seen so much throughout covid etc she's kind of hardened to illness and thinks nothing of it! No one else could believe it but didn't say anything, probably should have!

My daughter had antibiotics for a throat infection recently and dr said that after 24 hours of antibiotics she would no longer be infectious so I think you'll be ok hopefully!

I think it’s ok. If it was sickness/diarrhoea I’d follow the 48 hour rule but other things if the child feels ok Friday then party on Saturday should be ok. I’d ask the mum to stay rather than drop off in case she gets tired out/starts to feel worse again.

I think if her child uscactually ill, she won't come. If she's feeling better, she will.

Both DC have had antibiotics for Strep, I was told each time they could return to school after 24 hours of ABs. Neither if them did as didn't feel well enough, but they could have.

Honestly she'll be fine if she's well enough to join in. More than 24hours after starting antibiotics and she would be allowed back to any childcare setting (school would be probably back immediately).