Suspected ADHD

[M28mum]

Im looking for some advice as I'm going out of my mind!

Ever since my son was a toddler I've noticed he was alot more energetic than others and more particular (putting his soldier toys in groups of colours and who's holding what weapon) and as he's got older (he's 8 now) he's got worse and worse. He's hyperactive, sleep talks and walks, can't listen, doesn't stand still even if hes being told off, interrups even though he knows he shouldn't and also has ticks but the things is he's well behaved in school.

I have spoke to his teacher about it and he says he's Lovley in school just zone's out alot and he's behind with his writing, and now the doctors won't listen to me because he's OK at school. Every day I end up crying because it's so hard what can I do!

My ds masks in school.but an observation was done lots of things like fidgeting were noticed.

Email the school with a list of all the behaviours/traits you see at home and request he is observed by the SENCo/Ed psych.
My DD was described by school in a similar way until I did the above. Once the SENCo sat in specifically to observe her (rather than just what the teacher had generally noticed whilst busy teaching 30 children), much more was noticed in the class setting. Based on this, they suggested dyslexia, which is clearly wasn't, but that meant she was screened. The screening showed very clear issues with executive function but the other areas showed a very high ability and no signs of dyslexia, proving her attainment is well below her potential (again something school had denied up to that point). They were still difficult about accepting her level/nature of SEN, but those observations and screenings combined with past school reports (which made comments about focus and social skills), what we were seeing at home, and how clearly the traits showed during assessment provided more than enough evidence. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD (and school now speak like it was always clear to them what was going on, including her 'obvious' social difficulties they were so quick to dismiss before... 🙄)

Thank you, I will speak with his head teacher when they go back on Tuesday ☺️

Put it in writing rather than just a chat. You need a paper trail to ensure it is acted upon.

Agree with everything pp said. You need SENCO involved and also find out if SENCO or the GP refer for assessment in your area.

Be aware that wait times for assessment are very lengthy in the NHS, but a good school shouldn't need a diagnosis to put more support in place. My DS was given things like a standing desk, sensory chew, band for his chair, taken on time out/walking breaks etc. We ended up going private and was seen in about 6 weeks, after a few months of observation/gathering information at school/home.

The massive difference for us was getting him on his medication, which obviously only comes with assessment and diagnosis.

I actually feel your pain, we spent what felt like a lifetime fighting with school to get someone to listen, originally they said it was all in my head and he was just being a boy what ever that's ment to mean. I can't remember what exactly clicked for things to change because we got our diagnosis and medication in October, although school didn't support this when the adhd team went in to do an assessment they noticed so much more than his SENCO did. Finally we seem on some kind of pathway with school, so although not any great advice just don't give up, this isn't in your head and it won't ever be easy but stand your ground ❤️

I’m actually in the opposite situation with our DD6. Since reception, the school have commented on some of her motor skills. She’s only slightly behind on her maths and English ability, she’s a July baby so accept she’ could be behind her peers for a little while. She’s happy working independently and likes to complete work. She’s quite strong willed though and can take a while to follow instructions, laid back you could say. No major behavioural issues at home part from she doesn’t like going to bed and can sometimes take a while to drop off to sleep.
We had parents meeting this week and it was mentioned again about getting her assessed. We agreed of course. For context, she’s already been assessed twice by our local health authority who said each time she’s entirely normal for her age. We’ve got a form now to sign as this new assessment is done by an external company which mentions profiling and diagnosing.
For further context, her state primary school puts a lot of emphasis on performance and attaining good grades. Our elder 2 children both do well in school so I’m fine with this.
I can’t help feeling that they’re trying to pigeon hole her. I’ve been upset with some of the comments from parents evening but do want what’s best for her.
Shame we can’t swap schools OP!
Sorry I’ve not given advice and have rambled a bit x