Night terrors (I think)… not sure what to do

[Eldl96]

My son is 3 years 9 months old since he turned 3 he has had these night terrors on and off but recently they are nearly every night! They terrify me. He will sit up eyes wide open, staring into space looking terrified, points in the corner shouts random things and throws himself about. He goes all stiff as well and shakes sometimes. Literally like he is possessed. He can sometimes have more than one a night. He also sometimes just sits up in his bed talking and then lies back down. He never remembers the next day. It is always an hour or 2 after bed they start has anyone else experienced this and any tips how to help him ?

I was advised not to try and shake DD awake or anything, but to stand in front of an open window for a slight breeze and just talk to her. We used to look at the lights and I'd be chatting away, her trashing and screaming. And then suddenly she'd stop, look at me and smile and it was over.

That does sound like night terrors. Our oldest had them. We used to bring him to our bed (or sofa if we were still up) and put on a kids program but not something he normally watched. So - based on my childhood favourites and thanks to YouTube - this was either Morph, the Flumps or secret Squirrel. He would still shake is head and shout no, no when we first played but within a minute he’d start to watch and several minutes later he’d be talking to us as if. I thing had happened.

m this may not be the recommended route. If someone qualified comes on and say that what we did was very wrong then so be it. But it worked for us and my now 15 year old doesn’t seem to be any the worse for it.

good luck, night terrors can be very distressing to watch.

The answer for us what keeping him cool. Made all the difference. We’d run his wrists under the cold tap just before bed in summer and make sure he was dressed in really light clothing (hardly any lots of the time!) Definitely helped

This sounds exactly like my DS has. They started when he was 3, nearly 4, and are generally triggered for him by illness or tiredness. I talk to him gently but try to rouse him rather than keeping him asleep. It’s very distressing to witness but he settled again fairly quickly. He’s 7y 4m now & I can’t remember him having one since his birthday so maybe he’s grown out of them…

Yes sounds like night terrors. Apparently they can never remember them. I found I could “enter” the terror and make it pass more quickly by talking as if the thing was real but making is safe or silly, like what a silly thing we need to put it straight in the dustbin. Kind of over the top reactions

@motherofawhirlwind I try not to touch him incase I make him worse but sometimes he’s so bad I’m scared he hurts himself. I just try and talk to him but it’s like he’s not in this planet! So freaky

@Scautish he has a tv next to his bed I could try that without actually lifting him that might be an idea I’ll try anything right now. I’m just so thankful he doesn’t remember the next day.

@OhDN he is a warm sleeper he can wake up covered in sweat when he is having them like he literally had wet hair. He always likes to wear pyjamas and socks but I will try this.

can I ask when your children stopped having them? Did they just grow out of them?

Hi op my little boy had them as a baby and still has them now at 7 years old. Being tired is a trigger for my child. It's rough but he doesn't remember.

My DC2 had them at this sort of age. Kept screaming mummy even though I was right there, like she couldn’t see me. Horrible.

Showing her photos on my phone and talking to her about them quite often worked to bring her out of it.

She’s now 7 and hasn’t had them for years. She does run hot at night and likes very light pjs/cover so maybe that is related as a pp said.

IME it's best to just let the sleeper be. Sit with them until it passes so that if they do wake and are distressed you are there to comfort them. I had NTs on-and-off for many years. Being woken always distressed me more than being allowed to get through them undisturbed.

Overtiredness is probably the worst trigger. Especially combined with stress.

People sleep in cycles. NTs tend to happen in a specific phase of the cycle. As you've noticed, 1-2h after going to bed. You could try going to him around the time you expect the NT to occur and gently disturbing him. Rouse him just enough to bring him out of the sleep phase without actually waking him.

The worst thing about night terrors is the distress they cause to everybody else in the house.

@CraigDavid it’s funny you say that I noticed if he has a nap during the day and goes to bed later about 9/10 he has them a lot less. But if he doesn’t nap and goes to bed for 7 he has them a lot more. I just worry about a late bedtime because he’s tired in the morning and starts nursery at 8am but I might just need to let him nap if it’s tiredness that’s causing them.

Thanks everyone I’m definitely going to try the keeping him cooler at night as he is a warm sleeper he always has been.

My son had these, I always found taking him to the toilet and letting him have a pee helped, no idea why though!

Grew out of it but not til maybe 10/11 years old. He started to walk around the house in the terror as well.

@HairyKitty oh no that sounds terrifying, hopefully he doesn’t have them for another 7-8 years I know he doesn't remember them but they really scare me.

Yes it is quite scary first few times

My eldest suffered with these really badly from the age of 4 and even now, very very rarely. He's now 9.
If he has one now it's usually because he's got too hot, he likes a duvet over him and wears PJs, but he's a sweaty boy at night so once he's asleep I have to pull off the duvet, and will sometimes give him a nod before he goes to sleep to put thinner PJs on.
When he was younger he had another trigger which has now been dealt with, and this was enlarged tonsils. They were extremely big, but rarely had tonsillitis. This in turn also caused sleep apnea and horrendous snoring, and therefore the pain from a sore throat would wake him up causing a night terror! He would have one nearly every single night.
He had his tonsils out at the age of 5/6.
Thankfully he rarely has them now but they're absolutely awful aren't they. They used to scare me and my partner to the core, though my partner is better at dealing with them as I just want to cry. It's hard as they say not to wake them, or else could make it worse.. but, admittedly, there have been times when I have guven him a cuddle or held his hand and spoken to him and attempted to wake him up from them, and he's been fine every time, and never remembers them the next morning.
Random things can cause them, over heating, needing a wee, pain.. it's interesting really. They do grow out of them, just slowly haha x

My little girl suffered with these at a similar age it was awful. It was as if she could see things that we couldn't. It was like she was possessed. I remember being terrified about it and dreading bedtime. All I can say is that they didn't last long, maybe 3 months on and off and then it's as if they just vanished. But I really do sympathise, it is a difficult time for sure. I would agree with the poster who said keep them cool. My little girl used to get a high temperature due to getting worked up into such a state and the temperature just made things worse. So a fan in the room is handy.

This is what I was going to suggest. Keep a diary of when these are happening, then go in and gently rouse him just before that time. Not enough to fully wake them up, just a wee cuddle, but still asleep if that makes sense.
It brings them into a different stage of sleep in the cycle and can help avoid the terror.