Very small child

[TiredNHS]

I am very small. Think 4 foot 10, shoe size 34. My whole life has been limited by this (unable to get some jobs, being an easy prey to criminals/predators, bullying and jokes even as an adult, still IDd at shops, I can’t find clothes or shoes my size). I wanted to have kids but I held on onto my thirties because I didn’t want to pass this on to anyone. my husband is almost 6 foot so I hoped that genetics would work their way and decided to have one…
My daughter is 3.5 years and she is already saying that her friends call her “tiny” she is very sensitive already to everyone that says she is small. She is 85cm and still in size 2 years clothes. She cannot go into some things in playground as her arms do not reach or are long enough. I feel so sad for her. Doctor says there is nothing wrong with her because I am small too. However, is there any treatment like growth hormone that she could avail from?
PD: please no patronising comments of the like: being petite is cute, I wish I was ID’d (believe me, you don’t. It’s not that I look like a 16yo influencer, i look like a fat 10 year old girl with awkward clothes). I can’t drive most cars, seat belts strangle me. In aeroplanes and trains my legs hang, this is very uncomfortable and it cuts circulation to my legs, as a result I have to sit in awkward positions and I have a bad back. My feet are destroyed as a consequence of wearing I’ll fitting shoes. I wonder if it’s even considered a disability as it impacts like and health as much as other physical deviations from the norm…

Both my DD's were tiny, first school uniform was a nightmare because they didn't come in 2-3 and no plain black shoes in size 3! I do understand the worry, but as her father is tall I would think she will grow over 5foot.

My dd is an adult now and to 5'2 she's in the military (minimum height is actually 4'10!) I'm not even short but half my family is. Her sister ended up my height, 5'5

Well, if I follow her growth curve she is in the 0.5th percentile, which will be barely 5’. My mother is the smallest of her family and I am the smallest of mine. We have our periods at 9-10 and I stopped growing them, so she is not going to be able to make a jumó in her teenage years like other girls do

i meant 9-10 years of age, and I stopped growing then.

5’2 is a giant for me! I hope she can reach the height where finding a car to drive or shoes to wear is not a problem but Is there is something medical that could be done? I heard some kids get growth hormone treatment. I just don’t know where to start, my gp just fobbed me off.

Where I live ( Continental Europe ) a child would have a paediatrician who tracks their growth. If needed they would test to see if your daughter was small just due to genetics, or if their growth hormone was under active. If that were the case they would be given treatment. I only know this because my friend's son is undergoing treatment.

In the uk we don’t ever see a paediatrician unless your child has a long term problem.

I just checked and she is quite below the 0.4th percentile for her age, following the line she won’t even make it to 4’11!

You need to phone the Child Growth Foundation, OP. They are a charity and they will help you navigate the health system and get seen by the right people. A lot of doctors minimise poor growth. I don't think your daughter should be below the 0.4th, even with your height. Your husband should push up her genetic potential.

If you stopped growing at 9/10, it sounds like you might have had a growth disorder. (There are some where kids stop growing earlier than normal and this, added to previously poor growth, makes their final height even worse.)

Phone the childgrowthfoundation.org/ Good luck.

I'm 4 foot 10. DH over 6 foot. DD was tiny too until about Y4 but now fits into her aged clothes or age below.

Tbh, being small is tough but I have found that most of the restrictions are from me and how I feel about myself. I have a good very well paid job. Yes, I've had horrid experiences with men, people and the likes. Rude comments etc, but other people have this too. I buy cars I can drive. Wear comfy heeled boots for work. Clothing sucks but it could be worse.

Now DD10 friends are all taller than me. But who cares. My cousin died this year 6 months after a cancer diagnosis. She was only a few years older than me.

I have a cousin who's 4 foot 10 and she has her car adapted, so this may be doable for you. Don't wear ill fitting shoes, it's okay to wear youth sizes. But I think your dd has an advantage of a tall dad so she may be okay. I understand though, I'm 5foot and my dh is 5 foot 7 and my 14yr old ds is just 5 foot 5 and is so upset about this

My mum and nan are both 4ft 11. My sisters and I are all over 5ft 4.

My son received treatment for idiopathic growth hormone deficiency. He was always small - his dad and I are both petite, but looking at baby-child growth chart he just plateaued around 4 years. At 6/7 I took him to GP who was excellent and immediately referred to endocrinologist. We had about a year's worth of tests and enhanced monitoring before it was confirmed he was not producing HGH.

Tests weren't nice and he was in daily injection which he hated. He refused treatment from age 13.5. He's probably about 5'4 adult height and I don't think he'll grow much more.

Your daughter is still very young and I imagine GP would take a watch and wait approach until you have some firm plotted growth charts to support a referral. Treatment is v expensive and they will only give it once deemed absolutely necessary

Synthetic HGH will not make a child grow beyond their parental height prediction it simply compensates for the hormone's absence in achieving that height

I'm 5ft 2 and DH is 5ft 7
DHs family are all short, DH is the actually the tallest. My family are all quite tall apart from me.
DD was on the 9th percentile for height and weight but dropped off the charts for height when she was about 2, she's now 6 soon to be 7 and has never got back on the chart. She's about 105 cm.
We were referred to paediatrics at 2 and has been monitored every 6 months since.

Her bone age is about 10 months behind but she is growing consistently each year indicating no issue with growth hormone..
Endocrinologist is confident with no issue with growth hormone and is suggesting it's just genetic.
Her projected height is 4ft 8 and I'm so worried for her future. She is by far the shortest in her class and it's starting to really affect her confidence. It's hard for her with children in younger years at school being much taller than her. Other parents can't help but double take. My heart breaks for her some days. She is the most kind, smart and beautiful child. The world can be so cruel which worries me deeply x

My daughter was always the smallest and lightest in her class. She started school in size 6 shoes and started secondary school in size 13.5 shoes. She was the smallest in the school for most of key stage 1. At the end of year six, she was the same height as the average child in year three. In the early years of secondary school, she had a spurt and ended up about 5’1” and a petite size 6. Her feet stopped growing at size 2. She is now grown up. I would say to try not to worry as the growth charts are a prediction and not a certainty. As children grow, they change in all sorts of ways. Sometimes the tallest children end up shorter than their shorter friends and vice versa.

You need to look at the height across DH family not just him. Also it doesn't automatically mean heights average out.

I'm 5' and I totally understand why you want your DD to be taller. Only males should be taller than their shortest parent unfortunately it doesn't apply to females.

Please dont worry about your daughter future smidge80. People can be cruel but they can be cruel for so many reasons. I've spent decades thinking about my height, but, I read so many similar stories of people being unhappy for so many different reasons, it's pointless.

For my DD I have found martial arts to be amazing for her confidence. She started when she was a tiny thing compared to everyone else. And now, as the smallest in the class, she actively competes with the 6 foot adult men in things such as flying kicks over a tall obstacle, while us women go for the easy option.

Could there be an undiagnosed food intolerance? My friend's DD was tiny until she was diagnosed with a couple of food allergies/intolerances. Once these were eliminated she grew quite rapidly

Following with interest, my DD is nearly 4 and just hit 90cm, wears 2-3 clothes. Shes very sensitive about it as her friends are all head and shoulders above her and she struggles to keep up in soft play etc. Shes around the 5th percentile now I think (was born on 75th) but doctors and HVs dont seem bothered. I'm 5ft 7 and their dad is 6ft 2 so I don't know why we produce such small children! The youngest is 18 months and seems to have stopped growing as well.

If you can afford it, I'd get the GP to do a private referral to a paediatric endocrinologist. We have concerns about our 4 yo and the GP wasn't prepared to do anything on the NHS so did a private referral. Our DC's stats are different to yours and the paed really is a leader in the field, and they recommend watchful waiting at present given my child's age and otherwise good health/good family history. I'm average height and DH is tall, she is short and is getting increasingly so as the years go by, but the paed said she is right at the bottom of the 'acceptable' range created by the mid-parental height range, and counselled us on how testing for growth hormone deficiency etc is really difficult for children and so is the treatment. So we are to continue weighing and measuring her 3 monthly she told us and if there are any further centile declines we are to go back to her for review.

@TiredNHS

I am "nearly" 4ft 10 so recognise some of your concerns. My daughter is the shortest of her peers but I am delighted that she is now taller than me and we hope she will reach the lofty heights of 5ft.

85cm at 3.5 is significantly below the 0.4th growth line (that you and I are on) and for THAT reason I would see your GP again and ask insist on a referral to a endocrinologist. The suggestion to contact the child growth foundation is a good one.

My other suggestion is really important. Please don't let your daughter think being short is a problem. Teach her to be proud of who she is and to assume there is always a way round any disadvantages she may face.

I choose my cars based on seating positions, but I can drive.

Internet shopping means I don't have to ask people to pass me things EVERY time I go shopping.

I admit Shoe shopping is my nemesis and I don't enjoy clothes shopping, but it is doable (would be easier if I lost lots of weight).

Ah I feel you OP, I really do. My DS has always been very small. He takes after his father. Like others on this thread his first school uniform was 2-3. He started secondary school in size 9-10 clothes. He’s not just short but very slight too. It’s really effected his confidence. He won’t play any sports. So many women make derogatory remarks about short men. I worry no girl will ever want to date him and that makes me really sad because he’s such a lovely kind boy (yeah, yeah I know every mother says that!) he deserves more. Ironically, his younger sister is, like me, average height. In our case I wish it was the other way round because I think it’s easier for a girl to be small rather than a boy (but I appreciate that sentiment doesn’t help you OP!) Good luck with your DD, she’s still very young and hopefully her father’s genetics will play out. There’s every chance because of her dad’s height she will be taller than you, even if only a little. One of my best friends is 4’10 and I don’t even notice her height.

I understand your worry OP. My dd is 6 (May birthday) and she's about 103ish now. I'm 5ft and my husband is 5.9ft. I come from a very long line of shorties, so I was never expecting her to be very tall anyway. We were however referred to the ped' for a different hormone issue (premature adrenache) and we mentioned my dd's height as I was wondering if the two were related. It turned out that she had just dropped off the 0.4 centile for her height so we were referred for further testing along side ruling out precocious puberty. So far she has had a blood test, a scan on her wrist to determine her bone age and we are just waiting to do a 24hr urine test. If I'm honest to Dr didn't seem too worried and said that she probably just takes after my side of the family. My 16 month old is on the 2nd centile so I reckon I just produce petite children
I would definitely go back to the GP and ask for a referral, if your dd is not even on the charts it warrants investigation. It's such a worry OP, keep pushing!

Thank you all for your messages, it really helps seeing other peoples perspectives and experiences at being small. I really struggled with my self steem until my 20s and blamed it on my height. I hope I can foster a good self steem for my dd , but I’m worried that I am already subconsciously decreasing her self steem with my beliefs and attitude.

I am also thinking about signing her up to martial arts (a must for girls, I believe) and gymnastics (a sport in which being small is good!).
I will definitely call the gp as her height has
stagnated quite a lot. Feeling a bit sad that, as some posters have said, growth hormone treatment is not as easy or effective as I thought.
I count myself lucky that being small is my only worry today. I work in a hospital and I see very sad stories and diseases, I usually try to block these stories from my mind when I leave work, as I get anxious thinking of all the things that could be waiting around the corner.

My dm is 4’11”. All the women in her side of the family were tiny. I’m 5’1”. I have never had a problem with being small. I did used to get asked for ID in my 30s as I did also look very young but I always just thought it was funny. Dm has never had any issue with her height. Dd is tiny. She followed the 2nd percentile up until recently when she had a big growth spurt (age 8) and is suddenly on the 16th however I think she is going to hit puberty very soon (as I did) and am a bit concerned about her adult height being very short. She is currently just under the average height of a 7-year-old. She started school aged 4 wearing age 2-3 clothes that swamped her! She is very confident and body positive, and isn’t in the least concerned about being small. She has only ever had positive comments about her height. She is one of the youngest in her class and by far the smallest, but has some kids almost 18 months older in her class who tower above her (one girl is wearing age 11-12 uniform whereas dd is in age 5-6)....yet dd is very popular, very bright, and has had no problems at school other then reaching the toilet in reception, which was easily resolved by us providing a step stool.

My mum was 4 foot 10 and my dad 5 foot 10. Dsis is 4 foot 11 and I'm 5 foot 3. It doesn't bother my sister. She's more confident than me. I'm told I'm small at my height but surely I'm not overly small? Anyway my point is who cares ? I've got male cousins who are smaller than me and they've been fine in life. I do understand your worries about her though. X