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Is there such a thing as mild autism?

6 replies

BestIntentions80 · 10/08/2022 16:40

Hello everyone. First post here. My daughter is 10, nearly 11. I'm concerned about whether or not she may have some ADD traits or may have mild autism if that is a thing. My daughter still stims when she plays on her own. We call it waggling! She'll have a toy in one hand and talk, talk, talk. When she's with us or other adults she doesn't say a great amount despite encouraging conversation. She seems ok with her small circle of friends and according to teachers they want to work on her communication. She can also jump up and down when excited about something. When she was younger she was late to walk and talk. When she reads she sounds very clear but in conversation she pauses quite a bit, speaks very quietly and sometimes mixes up words. Can be shy mostly but will surprise us by being confident on stage doing a play or singing. She also had echolalia a little when younger and doesn't always grasp instruction but getting better. Most people think she's fine but I know something isn't quite right. I love her to bits obvs but as she gets older I feel she will struggle more as feel like she hasn't been diagnosed. I haven't spoken to doctor much about it and teachers have implied that some things are normal and they can grow out of it. I feel like like it could be ADD or has some ASD traits. She can also be ok one minute and zone out the next which makes it hard to communicate at times. She also has minor coordination problems. She physically looks older but mentally seems a bit younger than her years. I'm I worrying about nothing? I can't talk to people I know as she comes across as well behaved, if not a little shy, when out. I've heard girls can go under the radar a bit but as she's getting older I see more and wonder. I obvs want to know if she does struggle with certain things because of something else. How do I approach a potential diagnosis, if there is anything? She'll be starting secondary soon and my anxiety is through the roof about it. Thank you all.

OP posts:
H3ll00 · 10/08/2022 16:51

I’m autistic and have ADHD. My view is being autistic simply means your sensory, communication and social needs are in the minority. The reason this causes an issue is because, being in minority, the majority frame your differences as impairment so you have to navigate the issues that creates.

I believe ADHD is a disability and is life-limiting for many people if not managed correctly. Medication has transformed my life.

Struggling to hear when making conversation can be a symptom of ADHD so it is worth pursuing. Some people think my toddler is shy as her ADHD is mostly concealed to the outside world. She isn’t shy, she has no interest in nice polite girls and gets excited by hanging around with hyperactive, danger seeking boys. Unfortunately, there aren’t any at the Childminder’s or the groups we go to.

BigButtons · 10/08/2022 16:57

No- there is no such thing as mild autism. What people mean by that is how the person with presents, how they cope in everyday situations.
autism is not linear. Think of it more as a sphere and people can sit anywhere within that. It’s really about how other people view the autistic person.
girls do present differently and are often good at masking , which makes it harder to diagnose.
one of my daughters was diagnosed at 16. It took us 4 years.

BestIntentions80 · 10/08/2022 17:09

Please could you tell me more about the medication side of things, I'd be really interested to hear. What age did you start taking and how it helped? Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
BogdashinaO · 10/08/2022 17:18

I'd suggest you write down as much as you can think of and talk to your SENCO at school. It can take a long time to get a referral. Girls do mask, it is harder to spot with them because of this, and if she is doing ok at school, they may well not have seen much evidence. However, since you say they have mentioned communication issues, I suspect she is already on their radar in some way. There is a lot of overlap in aspects of ADHD and autism, and some debate about where they sit in relation to each other.

Medication for ADHD has been transformational to some family members. They were very late diagnosis (late teens early twenties) and both describe it as 'stilling their brain'. For one of them, there has been an impact on appetite though, and that's problematic. I know of primary aged children on medication, and the effect on them in school has been dramatic, but they present very differently from how you describe your DD.

Good luck. You may need to be very persistent with the SENCO, but hopefully not. They may just have been waiting for you to come to them.

blueshoes · 10/08/2022 17:55

She also had echolalia a little when younger and doesn't always grasp instruction but getting better. Most people think she's fine but I know something isn't quite right. I love her to bits obvs but as she gets older I feel she will struggle more as feel like she hasn't been diagnosed. I haven't spoken to doctor much about it and teachers have implied that some things are normal and they can grow out of it. I feel like like it could be ADD or has some ASD traits. She can also be ok one minute and zone out the next which makes it hard to communicate at times. She also has minor coordination problems. She physically looks older but mentally seems a bit younger than her years. I'm I worrying about nothing? I can't talk to people I know as she comes across as well behaved, if not a little shy, when out. I've heard girls can go under the radar a bit but as she's getting older I see more and wonder. I obvs want to know if she does struggle with certain things because of something else.

OP, following this thread with interest.

What you said above has resonance with me, especially the part where you say your dd seems ok to other people and you know something is not right. I have felt that something was just a bit 'off' from birth with my dd but it was so subtle. It got worse the higher up the education level she went when more sophisticated communication and comprehension skills were required.

She was also academically able (but with a lot of support from her parents), shy child and seemed immature for her age. Turns out she was also a champion masker and was finally diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) at 18 but on the mild or high functioning end of the spectrum. She presents differently from your dd. My dd also has a form of social anxiety.

If I had to do it over again, we would have started the diagnosis process much earlier. We were quite disappointed that my dd's school did not flag up her issues earlier despite her high level of anxiety in school. We started the diagnosis process almost by chance at 17+ and dd was about to fall out of the Children & Young Person's services at 18. Were it nor for a kind paediatrician who spotted her difficulties and fast tracked her case, she would have fallen into adult services and probably got lost in the system.

jollyhollyday · 10/08/2022 18:17

So much of what is being said here echos with me. My DD9 displays lot so tendencies and I have felt this for years but yet to most people she is fine. As she's has disrupted schooling over the last few years with Covid no one teacher has spotted it but she is very very well behaved in school.
Although the school have approached me about her needing additional help in propositions and getting very anxious about change so to be fair they've put in place help on those areas
I finally approached the SENCO in April and am now on a waiting list which is approx 36 months. She has also been referred to a physiotherapist as she has balance issues, avoids running skipping jumping narrow walkways etc. waiting list is approx 13 weeks so should hear something very soon from them.
SENCO listened and agreed with my theories that she may have dyspraxia and also said she could see tendencies of ASD so recommended the referral
Apart from a few forms being filled I there's not been much else unfortunately so hoping to see some help for her come September with a new teacher.

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