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FTM - so anxious, convinced something is wrong

1 reply

Perchedinthedark · 01/07/2022 14:55

Hello, apologies in advance for long post.
I'm a first time mum to a wonderful 13 week old baby boy.
I had a difficult pregnancy and was really anxious the whole time as it was my third pregnancy.
Since baby arrived I've been anxious about keeping him safe and healthy and have got myself in some right states about him - things like pulling the car to check he's still breathing the first time I drove with him, etc.
It doesn't help that he's still being weighed every two weeks by midwives as HV thought he wasn't thriving (he lost a lot of weight in his first week, but put it all back on by 4 weeks and is now gaining steadily on a curve) but he's a sicky baby, on Gaviscon for reflux which seems to be helping somewhat. Have had him back and forth at the GP for the projectile vomiting at its worst, and one incident where he was silently choking on what we think was snotty sick - they've referred us to paediatrician but still waiting for appointment. The health visitor then scared me further by saying I wasn't pushing hard enough for him (I had already had him at the GP three times that week!) And she emailed the GP to make sure I took him back again. I feel like she doesn't think I'm bothered/trying.

I'm an information seeker and I can't help googling all the time even though I know it makes me panic.
He's so snotty all the time and does mucousy poos and vomits, so of course that got me worrying about cystic fibrosis.

He's recently started sleeping for longer stretches overnight - about 6 hours tops - and I can't enjoy it and rest myself as I'm panicking he's missing feeds etc.

Then the other day we were at a friend's house and from nowhere he starting belly laughing - he had never laughed before, no-one was trying to make him laugh, he just started chuckling. He's not done it since and I've googled and now got myself all worried it was actually a gelastic seizure - then kept googling and every move he makes I'm worrying they're actually spasms (things like head bobbing/belly crunches, frantic kicking, eyes rolling in his head when he's sleepy etc). I'm watching him all the time and feel sick about it. Even though I know that for example the kicks could be wind, over tiredness, etc, I keep jumping to worst case scenarios all the time.

I guess I'm asking for advice really. Did anyone else's little one have a first laughing fit and then not have one again for a while? How can I tell the difference between normal baby wiggles, kicks, and nodding to seizures?

I feel scared to ask the GP or midwives because he's already back and forth and I think I'll get labelled a crazy mum (which I probably am!) And then they won't take any of my concerns seriously and he won't get the help he deserves and needs.

How do I separate/work out what is a gut feeling and what is the anxiety talking?

I've also been in contact with health professionals about me to talk to someone about post natal anxiety as I think it's getting unmanageable now, but again I'm scared that it will mean they stop taking me seriously and he will suffer as a result.

Would welcome any wisdom, advice, or even a good talking to if that's what you feel I need!

OP posts:
Thisneedsanamechange · 01/07/2022 19:58

I'm so sorry you feel this way, I'm also prone to post natal anxiety and its horrible.

I also asked myself how to differentiate between anxiety or my mum instinct telling me something was actually wrong. In my case it was all anxiety and none of my fears have materialised. I think I sort of knew this all along, and if you are questioning if it's just anxiety then maybe you know this too?

I did have CBT when baby was around 3 months and found it really helpful. Just talking about my fears every week and dissecting them made me realise they were mostly made up in my head. It also helped me with the horrendous insomnia which was only making the anxiety worse.

Baby is now 10 months and the anxiety has pretty much vanished so I wanted to give you hope that it will all be OK.

Continue to advocate and seek help for your baby but perhaps trying to focus only on actual existing symptoms that cause him discomfort (such as reflux) rather than a greater diagnosis that is hypothetical if you see what I mean? Also I am pretty sure cystic fibrosis is checked for at the first heel prick test when they are tiny? If so, you can put that one out of your mind.

I dont know if this helps much but I wish you all the best.

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