Signs of Autism?

[abbs1]

Can anyone tell me if these are signs of autism? My son is 2yrs 3 months. He is showing these developmental signs but not sure if this is normal or not.

1. Very delayed speech. Says 2-3 words (duck duck, oh no, uh huh)
2. Lines up toys (dinosaurs in lines) we havent taught him this
3. Plays fine on his own around other children but doesnt interact with other children
4. Doesnt take part in any structured play like group activities at play groups etc. Just goes off and does his own thing by himself
5. Struggles with eating new foods. Has certain foods hes fine with but wont touch new ones
6. In his bedroom he will not go sleep at nap time or bedtime unless everything is in its specific place or out of his room. If we forget or he sees it he will scream and cry until its sorted.
7. Has very short attention span for anything.
8. Very creative and will happily sit and paint/colour etc for nearly an hour.
9. Doesnt like loud noises even plane flying over he comes running inside holding his ears pointing to the sky.

Hes very loving and affectionate us as his immediate family and grandparents.
Am I overthinking this or is there anything I should do or ask for help with? I knows hes very little but hes very intelligent and smart. He understands everything we say and ask him to do.

Any help would be very much appreciated.

Apart from the speech delay, that all sounds pretty normal for a 2 year old to me. I wouldn't read too much into the rest. Does he attend nursery or anything?

No hes not in nursery yet. Hes got a place for sept 2023 and im trying to get him in sooner but currently on the waiting list.

I would say some it possibly is OP but it’s just as likely it’s just his age and his personality. I’d try to put it out if your kind for now if I were you. Just carry on supporting him to learn new things as I’m sure you are. Talk to him constantly, narrate what your doing to encourage his speech. Have you spoken to the Health Visitor about his speech delay?

How is he in toddler groups? Can he cope with the noise, lights and when it's busy? How does he cope in shops? How is his eye contact? My eldest has autism and ADHD and the key indicators with him were he hated toddler groups (too busy and loud), hid in his buggy under the hood, didn't really interact with other kids and tended to hit out. He lined up Thomas tank trains and was obsessed with them. He was very verbal and his language skills were well ahead for his age but socially he struggled massively.

Im trying my best to put it out my mind but the HV has been absolutely useless and said no one will do anything until his review which is all delayed so he may not have until hes nearly 3.
I talk to him all day to try to get him to communicate. When he wants something i ask him to show me and when he does i say what it is etc. He just gets so frustrated and screams throws things clenches his little hands and it upsets me so much as hes trying so hard to tell me but cant.
Im trying to just be as patient as i can and just love and support him but its hard when kids his age are all talking and taking part in groups and he isnt.

With toddler groups to him its like hes the only one. He will happily play on the things by himself but as soon as its a group activity he just goes off in the corner on his own while the other kids all join in apart from him. I try to gently encourage him to take part but that usually turns into a complete melt down. If the lights go off and theres lights round the room he sometimes is ok or he runs off and hides. I dont want to stop him going as he loves the free play as hes in his own little world. He looks forward to it each week and every time we drive past where it is and its not the day to go there he has a meltdown in the car.
He doesnt play with any children. Even at a stay and play no interaction what so ever with the other children. Its like they dont exist to him.
Hes hits out a lot when hes frustrated or I dont understand what he wants or needs.
You can get books out and ask him to point to what things are and hes right every time but he just wont talk. Everything is aah aah.
Im getting no help or support from the HV or GP and feel completely lost as to how to help him. I want to give him the best opportunity but without any help its really hard. All I get told is hes a "covid baby" dont worry. But thats rubbish as loads of children born during covid his age can talk. Some even younger than him.

Sounds normal to me. Our lb was the same. He's still a baby!.

With the greatest respect, why does everyone seem so keen to get their child diagnosed rather than let them be?

There's a reason your hv is saying leave it for now...

Its not that I want a diagnosis necessarily its more that I'm looking for support to help my son as he seems to be struggling with things other children his age seem to be fine with. For example play groups all the other children join in each week but he just goes off by himself. He goes to 2 sometimes 3 different things each week with other children as hes not in nursery and the same thing happens at each one. Each group is slightly different with activities but hes always by himself when the other children play together and join in with group activities.

Hes also my first child so I was just looking for advise from parents who have children his age or older who may be able to tell its completely normal and if it is thats great and if it isnt, then i can see what other help there may be available for him.

I'd say there are quite a lot of red flags in that list. Not that he necessarily is autistic but, as there are and as you are concerned about it, I'd suggest you approach your gp.

I didn't take my own advice and my ds was diagnosed recently at 14. If it is autism you can't outrun it and better to know sooner than later.

He is still very young. Hard to say.

That said, my son was similar and now at 5 he does have a diagnosis (high functioning autism). He was a bit delayed in speaking but learnt to read at 3. Loves his letters and numbers. Has terrific eye contact and shared attention, is full of hugs and kisses. Loves to make up stories and play pretend. But he never approaches other kids, he only navigates towards adults. He doesn't really converse, he'll tell you about his special interest (tram and train routes 😄). He's in a smaller group at school and he thrives. So, even if it is autism -- it's not the end of the world.

Definitely follow your instincts on this.

I was basically laughed at for suggesting that I thought my 6 week old might be autistic after realising he would scream for hours when I moved anything in the bedroom (first instance was a lamp, I moved it from one side of the rocking chair I used to do night feeds in to the other, he screamed all night and wouldn't feed until I moved it back).

He's 12 now, and diagnosed autistic, but the diagnosis didn't happen until he was 8 because he wasn't behind verbally or academically so nobody believed me when I voiced my concerns.

I wish we had known earlier though.

It sounds like you’re doing everything you should be to me. I know it horrible when they get so upset because they can’t make you understand. I think it would be pot luck whether a GP would refer you for an assessment at this stage, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I felt a lot happier knowing because it was then easier to find information about how to help my DC.

There is a book called "It takes two to talk" that you could look at. It's very good and your child doesn't have to be autistic to benefit from it.

When your child is barefoot and walking around the house, do they walk on the balls of their feet rather than having the full sole on the ground? Many people with autism (although not all) have this distinctive way of walking- it’s a sensory thing

Did he crawl OP? Many children with additional needs "bum shuffle" instead.

You know your child better than anyone else OP - go with your gut 💙

That's interesting 2 of my kids did the bum shuffle instead of crawl and both have been diagnosed with ASD.
My 3rd is totally different he's been trying to crawl for the past month he'll master it soon.

What would that reason be?

Research what you are worried about and find ways to help your son. Being diagnosed with autism isn’t going to change anything because there’s no help or support out there. Join parent support groups online and get advice from there, there are lots about and will probably be on in your area.

Once the child starts school, isn't the school legally obliged to provide some form of learning support. I appreciate the support might be stretched and not be readily available but why not start the process of diagnosis. It takes a long time to get the diagnosis so the earlier you are in the system, the better. OP can stop the process at any point if the 'problem' goes away.

OP, another thing to try for the speech delay is to see a speech and language therapist (SALT). Your HV should be able to arrange that. There might be a wait list for that so put your ds' name down sooner rather than later. The SALT cannot diagnose autism but they would have seen it before and be able to point you if they think it could be worth exploring.

This sounds tough. I'm no expert, so not going to weigh in on 'is he, isn't he' - but regarding speech, have you tried learning some simple BSL - for signs such as yes, no, more, finished, want? Look them up from a reputable source and say the signs out loud whilst making the sign (with your hands) and only in context. This may alleviate some of the frustration he has with a lack of verbal communication. Definitely recommend returning to GP/HV and insisting on support for his speech delay.

Yes definitely sorry I wasn’t saying not to start the process. I was trying to say for her to start now researching and joining groups (autism, speech delay etc.) as nothing really changes once you have a diagnosis at home, the child is still going to be the same child, with the same struggles, so it’s best to start now working out what’s best for your kid and how to help them deal with everything they struggle with.

A lot of parents feel so deflated because they have went through the long process getting their children assessed then it’s here’s the diagnosis, the report will be sent out with some information leaflets, any problems just phone, see you later and that’s that.

Schools should put things in place for any child if they have difficulties and they could be put on a send register and you could get a echplan if they really struggle in school.

@Pullpverchuck thanks for explaining. That all makes sense, including the leaflets and 'see ya' from the Council. That is practical advice.

Thank you. I will contact his GP who has been amazing so far. It would just be so helpful to know if he does as you say so i can find more ways of helping him.

Thats interesting about the eye contact and affection as my son is so affectionate. So many hugs and kisses all day. He actually goes round and hugs and kisses things in the house.

Thank you. I didnt know if it was just a phase but its gotten worse. Last night his changing mat on the floor was the wrong way round and he screamed and cried and pointed to it until it was back the right way round and then he pointed at the cushion on the chair was also not in the right place so had fo fix it before he'd lay down and sleep.