Help needed with 4yr old daughter rages

[oldermummytobe]

Hi all,
Can anyone please offer some advice or share experiences of their 4 year old child having rages? My little girl is one week shy of her 4th birthday and recently developed horrendous rages. It's been very upsetting, and sometimes unsafe when we are out and can't get her back in car seat to leave the situation. I am noticing some triggers, tending to centre around being told we have to leave somewhere, or asking her to get ready for example. I am so worried for her but also we are going abroad for first time in 2 weeks and we are considering cancelling. Help please! Thank you

Don't cancel!
Give her time limits;
10 mins till you have to get dressed, 5 mins, 2 mins. And the same with leaving.

Do a Super Nanny on her!

Explain what you're doing and what's expected of her (going shopping, going to the park etc) That you'll be there for X minutes and then also give her a X minute warning before you leave.

(Though bear in mind she's only four and might be overwhelmed, particularly with a task like getting dressed)

Make it a game getting ready to go out. Involve her in choosing clothes and then give her a reasonable time limit to get ready. Keep an eye on her. If she messes about then give her a warning. Tell her that she needs to get ready now or else she'll have time out (one minute for every year of her age). If she gets up, put her back without saying anything. Until she stays put. Then tell her why she was there, that you want an apology and that, most important of all, you love her.

^^ The same applies if you're out. And if she doesn't behave she'll get time out once home.

Sounds extreme and maybe long winded but she has to learn that you're the boss and she needs to do as she's asked. So long as there are no "learning" reasons for her not being able to do this, go for it!!

I am not SuperNanny but I've had too much time on my hands lately and watched loads! Haha.

Good luck Xx

Thank you, yes I have been trying the time limit thing which was working for a while but now she kicks off still. I am going to try supernanny techniques and also try to pinpoint the triggers. We did manage to talk with her this evening about how she was feeling which made me feel better that i am listening to her, plus kept telling her I love her and giving her time and patience, both during incidents and after. I literally have no idea though what I am doing 😭