Daughter sleeps with sick bowl in her bed most nights...

[Blended1987]

Hi, not sure whether anyone can give any advice or experienced anything similar but my daughter has recently started to want to sleep with a sick bowl in her bed most night and its really worrying me. It all started a few months ago when she had a stomach bug, and since then she often complains of a stomach ache or feeling sick at bedtime and insists on having a bowl to sleep with. I've tried to speak to her about it but its really hard to get to the bottom of it. I think she's probably worried about getting sick again, but I'm not sure how to help her? Its always at bedtime, never during the day which makes me wonder whether there is some anxiety about nighttime for her. But again my questions don't seem to get anywhere with her. I've considered taking her to see the doctor, but not sure whether there is really much anyone can do. Any suggestions welcomed! Thank you

She is 8 years old by the way if that is of interest

No harm having it close by! She will see in time that she doesn't really need it. But I don't see it as a problem really. It's better than waking up in a panic and throwing up all over the bed.

It does sound like she is still worrying about maybe being sick again.
I would keep an eye on it, but if it's making her feel better at the moment it's not doing any harm. You may find that she gives it up after a few more weeks.

I'd let her without paying much attention to it. Just as a comfort thing. But would keep an eye in case the anxiety grows into that fear of being sick thing. Play it down, let her have a bowl if she asks. Just observe for the minute.

I hate to alarm you but Watch this closely as my dd did exactly this from about the same age.

Is your dd a bright but sensitive child?

She is now 16 and has been in therapy for emetophobia (fear of vomiting) for almost a year. She is doing loads better now but I'd nip this in the bud if you can as emetophobia can very debilitating

It tends to occur in bright girls that over think things.

Avoidance just entrenches it. I wish I knew more about it before many years went by. Now I'm very clued up on the signs.

I could have saved dd years of suffering if I'd known it was that serious when she first began with the bowl thing.

Have a read up on it. Then you can decide if your dd matches the description.

Seems like a way for her to manage her anxiety around being sick and for the time being, not an issue. I would make sure that it doesn't become a bigger or longer term issue though, as other PP have said.

@whenwillthemadnessend how do you nip it in the bud though? My 7 and 5 year old DDs both match this description and actually the younger one went through a phase about a year ago of carrying a sick bowl with her everywhere. They are both terrified of people vomiting and refused to be in the same room as their baby brother last time he had a sickness bug.

Youngest won’t watch TV programmes featuring cats after seeing Enid the cat cough up a hair ball (quite dramatically) in the Hey Duggee “Biology Badge”.

I would love to be able to nip this in the bud but I don’t know how???

I have emetophobia which got worse after having a stomach bug as a child. Because of my phobia my DC’s had sick bowls under their beds just incase. I would allow her to have it and not make an issue, just leave it in her room. As a child I was petrified of being sick but also petrified that if I was sick I would make a mess and then have the smell of sick in my room.

I have the fear of being sick which has improved with age (now 34!). As a child I spent at least a year working myself up I was going to be sick at night. It was absolutely awful. I never told anyone but really wish I had as we may have been able to nip it in the bud before it became a lifelong issue which is surprisingly debilitating!

Totally agree, she's just using it as reassurance. Leave her to it.

My son had this after he was sick. We decided to try going gluten free for a while after a trip to the doctor. We don’t actually think he has a gluten intolerance but it served as a useful circuit breaker. I week gf and then a few weeks low gluten diet and all was well. He was convinced that he felt much better and didn't need the sick bowl. Anything like that you can try. Another thing that worked was sleeping sitting up because he thought laying down was making him feel sick.

I'd leave it there but ignore it. Hopefully she forget about it over time.

It’s her way of coping with anxiety. Do keep an eye on it and if it starts to creep into other situations get help for her.

I would honestly just breeze past it. Oh, you don't need that if you're not ill, you're not going to be sick tonight, now what book do you want to read?

The presence of a bowl next to my bed virtually guarantees I'll throw up!

Is she worried about getting her bed messy? Bedtimes are typically more anxiety ridden for anyone because you’ve nothing to distract you.

My daughter had an uncomfortable stomach at night. She has previously had serious stomach issues so at first I was worried and patient, sought medication and stayed up with her, brought hot water bottles etc. Over time it occurred to me it was probably her paying attention to the sensations in her stomach when waiting to fall asleep. I stopped fussing at night about how her stomach was feeling but made sure we were having pleasant evenings and spending enough time together so she was relaxed by bedtime. That seems to have worked.

It’s not exactly the same thing as op’s dd but similar in that the more you think about your stomach the weirder your stomach feels and you can get into a bit of a loop. Could you experiment with making sure the sick bowl is kept under the bed at all times so she doesn’t have to think about it before bed? Headspace does bedtime guided visualisations which are suitable for an 8yo and can help distract her.

If you fear your kids have the actual phobia then they need to be taught vomiting for protects us from further illness and it's a good thing. Just a bit nasty.

They may accept this from you and all will be well but it might need a professional to talk to them. Don't make fun or tell them they are being silly about it. Take them seriously

But I honestly think the younger the better as the older they get the harder and more avoidance will ensue

My dd won't get in a plane now and it's affects us a family

She missed a lot of school when it was at its worst

She wont sleep over a friends

But things are massively better than they were Her therapist has been amazing

Thank you for all the helpful responses. I will try my best to ignore it I think and just allow her to have the bowl if this provides her with comfort, which I agree is probably what she is using it for. Its really reassuring to read that others have experienced something similar with their children too.

I actually have emetophobia myself but I have been very cautious not to show this to her, however I guess I could have unintentionally passed some of my phobia on to her.

I have Emetophobia and it's a horrible inescapable fear because vomiting is so unpredictable and it could happen literally anywhere to anyone, including yourself. It's impossible to completely avoid it, which isn't the case like with most phobias (spiders, heights, even leaving the house...). There's no safe space because you can't get away from yourself.

Could you try gradually moving the bowl a little further away from her each night? To the bottom of the bed, beside the bed, under the bed and eventually to a cupboard/drawer in her room – out of sight but where she knows she can quietly go and get it if she needs to?

Or replace with a little rubbish bin that can be used for everyday rubbish but double as a sick bowl if needed? You can get little storage bins that hook over the side of the bed.

Sounds like you're doing a good job of reassuring her already, but maybe add that feeling a bit queasy/off or having a bit of stomach discomfort doesn't usually mean you're going to be sick.

I'm an emetophobe who has had lots of therapy! What I've learnt is that doing things like keeping a sick bowl in your room is actually reinforcing your anxious thoughts and you should try and let these behaviours go. It does make you more anxious to begin with but then you realise you've stopped thinking about it and don't need that thing any more. So you could wait and see if it blows over but if I were you I would think of ways to get it out of there.
@Wiggledypiggledy you could try talking to the Senco at your children's school about their potential emetephobia. I have a child who is anxious (social stuff not emet) and they have referred him for CBT. Schools have apparently put a lot in place with mental health services because of mental health issues following covid.

Sorry OP but it could also be the beginning of OCD, maybe read up on the OCD-UK charity's website.

@BlueBox81 do you mind me asking what type of therapy you have found most useful? I have been researching it for myself as mine has actually become worse the older I have got.

For now I've left the bowl under my daughters bed to see whether it blows over in time. I'm hoping by her knowing it is it there she will feel more secure and won't need to have it actually in bed with her, with the hope that I will be able to take it away completely in time!

For my dd

Cbt
Combined with emdr and exposure therapy.
She saw her therapist weekly for 16 sessions. Now seeing her monthly ongoing.

Hi OP. I found CBT really useful and was referred for that by my GP. I don't feel 'cured' but my anxiety and time spent thinking about sick has dramatically reduced and I'm so glad i did it.
I have heard that EMDR mentioned by PP is really effective for emetephobia but I am not sure whether this is offered on the NHS.

My DD(11) is recovering from emetophobia and to me this sounds like a classic emetophobe safety behaviour. As a PP mentioned it is absolutely essential to eliminate safety behaviours (likewise avoidant behaviours) because they just make the faulty beliefs more entrenched. It seems innocent enough but it is a massive red flag. Teddy bears and blankies provide comfort and night, not sick bowls.

You need the Emetophobia Manual by Ken Goodman. We are following the exposure programme with DD and it has quite literally saved her life.

Free Yourself from Emetophobia by David Veale (the leading UK expert in emetophobia) is also good to read as a companion book. It covers the same therapeutic programme but using different language. Personally we prefer Goodman's book because it is more human and empathetic, but Veale's book was a bit stronger on the importance of addressing safety behaviours early on.

DD got to the point where she was housebound and barely eating. 10 weeks after starting the programme she was back at school, and six months on she is living pretty much a normal life and able to do pretty much anything she wants to. Full recovery will take time but it absolutely is treatable with the right therapy. The problem is that emetophobia isn't widely understood and needs very specific treatment. DD had been having CBT from a well regarded but non-expert clinical psychologist for 6 months which made no difference at all (if anything it actually increased her anxiety). We basically delivered the therapy ourselves using the book.