Bulimia

[FrancescaJade1]

Hi

I'm pregnant with my first, but also have a step daughter from my partners previous marriage. I've recently been finding "evidence" that she is being sick a lot (she's 13). Challenged her, and she denies it and goes running to daddy crying, saying I am bullying her. He says IF she is, then it will be hormones...she is quite hormonal.

There are the tell tale signs on her hands and also has blood shot eyes at times, but again, he says she'll be crying like teens do. Also totally obsessed with her teeth. I'm just really worried about her. I know she's not my biological daughter, but I love her like she is. Should I take this further.

Yes, you absolutely should try to get help for her. It's an incredibly dangerous illness in anyone - she could die. The electrolyte imbalances caused by active purging are harmful to anyone but especially risky in a child's smaller body. I'm so sorry he isn't listening, but do trust your instinct on this.

Thank you. There is no way I am going to let her die. I love her. If we fall out over it then, I am sure things can be mended. I'm worried there is some underlying cause, but she always seems happy.

I was bulimic fro 14 to 24 (very badly actually). I didn't die :) but what made me stop was reading about someone who had a brain hemorrhage from vomiting. I couldn't vomit after that from fear it might kill me. I wonder if educating her on the dangers of bulimia may help.

It's an illness which is very secretive and I told no-one til long after I was free of it. No-one knew. The only way I'd have opened up was if someone had very gently, kindly and non-confrontationally approached me and encouraged me it was ok to talk and I wouldn't be judged

For what it's worth - obsession with teeth may well be an indicator. I got obsessed with brushing my teeth when my bulimia started (because I did not want smelly breath from vomitting). To this day I still brush my teeth over 8 times a day !! (I'm in my 40s now!! Apparently I have excellent teeth!!! Never had a filling!!) So, her focus on her teeth may well be a sign, yes.

Oh, thank you.
I raised the subject again last night actually and it ended in her destroying the TV and calling me names I never thought she knew....then she just broke down and admitted it.
She has (at the moment) agreed to get help.

FiveHoursAleep - I am so glad you got over this, and I so appreciate your advice. That is so scary about brain hemorrhage. Yeah, she brushes her teeth all the time, but also has perfect ones. She does a bit of modelling for equestrian, and I just wonder if that may not be helping.

Hi there is a teens with ED thread you might want to join.

You need to take her to a dr as she needs bloods and an ecg, bulimia can be fatal as it throws all the electrolytes out.

I would also insist on an open door bathroom policy, tell her to sing or talk to you when she goes to the loo and no going to the toilet for at least an hour after eating.

What's her weight like?

Girliefriendlikespuppies.....thank you, that sounds a great idea. I guess she could still go out and do it....She does have a best friend who they tend to always go out together. Don't know if I should tell her ?? We've had a really long chat about it and there have been a lot of tears. Actually have an appointment next week to discuss with a healthcare professional. She is still OK to do that, which is brilliant. She is a bit underweight, but not stick thin.
Her Dad is still not accepting it and says I am just getting at her (even though she has admitted it ??). Thankfully, I got equal legal guardianship of her (just when I fell pregnant), so if he's gonna be like this, he can do one. I am gonna make sure that girl gets all the helps she needs.....girl power !!...and just to add....I am expecting a girl....gonna call her Naomi Grace.

Just an update, and thanks for your advice. I am only 20, so been quite hard taking on a teenage girl and also being pregnant, but we are more like sisters I guess. She totally screamed the place down when it came to the appointment, but I calmed her down in the end and she managed it. She now has a Child and Adolescent care worker. I did the "open door" thing which she is fine with, but I suspect she has being doing it somewhere else in secret. A whole tub of icecream went missing the other day. Guess that is binge/purge. I can't watch her 24/7 and I can't stop her going to school really, but have grounded her after tea now. She is not happy about it, but accepts it. I let her friend stay over most nights too. The main thing is she has admitted it, she's accepted she needs help, we've had a good cry together over it and a really good talk. Her Dad moved to his parents on Tuesday. No one calls me a "controlling little bitch". I don't think he ever really cared for her. Her Mum is no longer around. We've been together for 3 years and he's always left me to do everything for her, even when I was doing my exams. He actually said he didn't want this baby once. Sorry, just feeling a bit upset and wanted to talk. Girl Power !! Thanks xx

Hi, my 14 year old son has been overweight for the last 7 years. Healthy meals at home. We know he snacks from the cupboards. There isn't much to indulge in so he's quite creative. Just had a revelation when cleaning his room. His sister said 'don't forget the drawer of shame' then revealed his binge drawer. He's eating jars of Nutella from the spoon (found 8 spoons, 3 empty jars), tubes of Pringles, massive bars of cheap choc... All stuff he must be purchasing himself. Don't know what to do. When we've tried to broach healthy eating, he gets very upset and ashamed.

Sorry, meant to start new thread. Have now done this x