12 year old and bedwetting

[OrlaPeel]

DS is almost 12 and bedwetting most nights. He has always had this issue, and nothing we have tried seems to help.

He had been seen by the enuresis nurse, prescribed the maximum dose of desmopressin, we've tried alarms, waking him to go to the toilet, drinking more during the day to increase bladder capacity. All the advice on the ERIC website. It hasn't improved as he's got older, there's just more wee and washing.

It's so disheartening for him and us, although fortunately he doesn't seem too affected by it, but I know it's going to be hitting his self esteem somewhere.

Is there anything else we can try?!

Are there any unresolved emotional issues from his early years? Does he have any other sleep issues (nightmares etc?). In my family my DF died very suddenly when we were tiny and understandably our Mum subsequently suffered depression and we all bed wet until puberty.

Time /age is all I can say. My son wet nightly, tried alarms etc started Desmopressin at 14 which reduced wetting to about 50% of nights. Then at 15 and a half, he just no longer wet. And came off Desmopressin. Assume it must have been puberty/ natural hormones kicking in. Maybe there's a reason the pj pants are labelled 8-15!

I don’t know. But my dp wet the bed until he was 10 every single night. He wanted to go to a sleep over, mil said maybe it wasn’t a great idea because of bed wetting. He never did it again.

sorry no help!!

Has he hit puberty yet? I used to bed wet into my teens and as with your son nothing worked but it definitely started to decrease and stopped being nightly once I hit puberty.

If the washing is a problem you can get disposable pants which might help with that side and might also help his self esteem if he can deal with it more discreetly.

Thanks for the replies. I think he's had a pretty happy and settled childhood- certainly no traumatic events.

He does sleep very deeply, I can turn the main light on and he doesn't wake up (but all my DC are like this!)

@DFOD I'm sorry for your loss.

On a similar path with DS (age 10). We’ve seen a consultant paediatric urologist who did an ultrasound and made us keep a fluid intake and output diary for a few weeks. He has recommended physiotherapy as the next step, which we are about to start next month. Might be worth exploring as you’ve tried a lot of the other steps.

No need for deodorant yet and haven't noticed any other signs of puberty. He doesn't seem too bothered by it and we are very clear that it's just one of those things and not his fault in any way.

The washing is so relentless- he doesn't like the disposables which is fair enough. Have bought him a waterproof mattress after years of putting it off thinking it would be better soon!

Any special washing recommendations for removing the wee smell from sheets and duvets?!

@Blogdog what is the thinking behind physiotherapy? I haven't heard of that before

We’ve also tried Occupational Therapy for retained reflexes which can be connected to bed wetting. We didn’t see any great improvement from it but worth googling to see if any of the symptoms sound familiar.

This happened to my ds and I remember watching a documentary with a mum with 3 sons who had a similar problem. We did the things you are doing

He stopped when he reached the age your ds is now, perhaps the onset of puberty

@OrlaPeel I think the thinking behind it is that the pelvic muscles may be weak or not working in sync. DS has his first session in mid May so happy to report back when I find out more.

@Blogdog he does have several of the symptoms listed as indicating retained reflexes, so I will look into that more, thank you. They are all things that I have mentioned to school throughout and have never had much response to, I think because he's not causing trouble in class...
He has been assessed for dyslexia and that said it was unlikely.

What does the occupational therapy involve? (Hope you don't mind me asking!) And good luck with the physio!

We're exactly the same with ds2, 12.

Tried all the advice, on the highest dose of desmo but he wets probably 5 out of 7 nights. He gets upset sometimes especially when asked to a sleepover as there's just no way he can go. We just try and reassure him it's just hormonal, nothing he can do more than he is, and one day soon it will just stop.

We also bought a waterproof mattress last year and it made a huge difference. No advice on the washing though, God it's relentless isn't it 🤦🏻‍♀️ We have a rule that ds has to strip his bed when he wees and go shove it in the machine among with pj's...it sounds harsh actually writing it down, that we make him - but we had one too many instances of inconsiderate behaviour where he'd fling soaking wet clothes or sheets on top of a 'normal' pile of dirty washing, making a huge pile of urine smelling washing!

I'm really hoping it's just going to stop in the next couple of years. And I'm doubly crossing fingers that ds3 (4) isn't the same!

Have a look at huggies drynites.
My son suddenly became dry aged 13. We had tried everything up to then and nothing worked. He was, and still is a, very deep sleeper.

@ChanceNorman so frustrating when they do that and you have to rewash things! We ask DS to put wet things in the bath so we know where they are, we tried him having sleeping bags for a while but he doesn't really like them so have moved to 2 x tumble dryable duvets. And the partial bed covers from Brolly Sheets are amazing.

@OrlaPeel The occupational therapy involved an initial assessment during which we actually discovered he has mild developmental coordination disorder (dyspraxia) and several retained reflexes. On an ongoing basis it’s quite fun actually - it’s basically a set of exercises he has to do nightly but they’re not particularly onerous or tedious. We go back every two months for a review and the reflexes are tested again to see if there’s any improvement and the exercises are changed.

As I said we didn’t see a huge improvement on the bed wetting front but DS is immensely fidgety and that has improved a lot since he started.

This is interesting as my DS, similar age, is going through anxiety and needing to be able to wee more in day if we're out. He used to easily hold for hours, and does appear to link with puberty (growing hair and voice breaking). I wonder if for boys puberty can impact the signals to go for a wee.

I have wondered about dyspraxia with DS for a while, interesting to hear there can be an overlap!

Following this thread with interest as I also have this issue.

We are seeing the continence team. Not had medication yet. But it's still happening. We are waiting for another appt to see what's next. Never heard of retained reflexes so looked that up and we too have lots of things linked. So going to research that more.

What duvets/sheets are people using or recommend. We currently use a bed sheet that can come off and be washed but the duvet/pillow issue I am still looking for what is good.

@Blendiful On the duvet front DS uses a 4.5 tog duvet from Next which can be shoved in the washing machine and tumble dryer and comes out good as new. I think it’s this one.. It is very light though but DS tends to feel the heat (he sleeps in his boxers year round and in just a sheet in the summer) so he is happy with it.

We also use the DryNites mattress pads. They absorb a lot of the wee but are a bit pricey.

Actually just checked his duvet there and it’s 1 tog, not 4.5 tog (which probably makes it easier to wash).

We've also gone with very light duvets that can be washed and tumble dried.

We also have these sheets which are great - they have a 15% off code if you sign up to the newsletter.