New born in pain constantly, feeling suicidal:(

[mumof2littlemonkeysx]

My little boy is 6 days old, over the last few days he has become irritable and he can't sit still he is always squirming in pain and discomfort, he's struggling to pass his wind and even when I manage to it doesn't minimise his pain at all, after he finishes a bottle he is very unsettled, he also sucks on his dummy rapidly as if he's still hungry but he's not. he hardly sleeps for longs stretches at all and if he does it takes me hours to settle him, last night me and my partner were both in tears as my little boy was screaming and crying from 8-2:30am what makes it worse is my 2 year old was up not well last night too, I woke up this morning after an hours nap feeling very suicidal I feel like I can't physically do it. Midwife saying this is normal behaviour from a newborn

Please talk to your go to get some help. Honestly it can be a lifesaver.

You need to call someone. Please don't suffer in silence. As for your baby have they been checked for a tongue tie?

So sorry, OP. This sounds so difficult.

have you tried Infacol or other drops for wind for babies? They made a huge difference for one of mine.

Do you have any support at all for a break, nap?

take care

Oh bless you, it sounds really tough. Can you speak to your health visitor as well as your midwife? You’re clearly struggling and they should be being more supportive.
In terms of passing wind - how are you getting it up? There’s a few different ways to do it, I remember feeling very similar with my first DD, it just kept getting stuck! Gentle bicycle legs on his back may work, rubbing his belly in slow circles, or the old hoist over the shoulder bounce! It’s all really new to both of you but you will find your way and it will get better.
How does he prefer to sleep? Is he in a Moses basket or cot? I know it’s frowned upon but neither of mine settled well in a cot or basket and did sleep on me and DH a lot, we did a lot of shift sleeping!

Please push for more support OP. This doesn’t sound normal to me at all. I’d speak to your GP so they can consider reflux and cows milk protein intolerance as well as tongue tie. I’d also recommend lots of walks with the pram. If nothing else the crying doesn’t seem as loud outside and in my experience they often settle on a walk, eventually.

purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php

This might be worth a read as well.

My DD was like this with reflux, she was in constant pain, couldn't lie her down, wouldn't sleep. The GP made out it was my fault, no one would believe me. It was a horrible time. So looked around and found Aptamil Reflux and Regurgitation formula. It was a game changer for us.

Bless you OP.

you sound like a lovely caring mum. I’d book to see your GP and a lactation consultant. Do you have any family who can give you a break?? If not you and your partner need to go into survival mode. Take turns with DS while the other sleeps.

Wishing you well

Sending you a hand hold op - agree with all pp’s above- get on to your GP or HV and insist on help- it is trial and error to find the causes of many babies problems but start with infacol, baby gaviscon or similar for colic & reflux. Rule them out one by one. Also change bottles- we found different brands or teats made a huge difference to baby boys wind!! X

My son was like this. In hindsight he had a cows milk protein allergy. I remeber the doctor shrugging us off saying babies cry and babies spit up. But mum knows if it's more then that. Push for help. As others have said trying reflux medicine may help.
Hows his weight gain?

Dr Brown bottles were a life saver for us - what bottles are you using?

My DS was lactose intolerant, and we used coleif drips in his milk. Complete game changer.

Newborns can be quite unsettled for a while, they spent 9 months all cosy in a safe space inside you but now they have all these new things, tastes, smells, sounds, feelings etc they need to deal with and adapt to it must be quite overwhelming for them

Speak to your health visitors about different options to help baby and you

My boy was gassy and squirming, throwing himself around and it turned out to be reflux which the dr prescribes infant gaviscon for and it helped so much

Also for gassy tummy colic drops can help and it may be you need to try a couple of different brands before you find one that works for your baby

If you formula feed you can also try different brands as some babies do better on some brands than others, my boy was bad on cow & gate but really good with mamia

Please remember this difficult newborn stage will eventually pass even though it can seem like it will never end

Can you and partner take turns with baby each night so one sleeps whilst the other one is up with baby so you aren't both tired?

Hi @mumof2littlemonkeysx

I have been in this exact position and I completely understand how stressful and exhausting it is. It turned out that my ds had reflux and needed infant Gaviscon to treat it. It could also be a milk intolerance (my ds also had this).

Please tell your midwife or health visitor how you are feeling and make an appointment with the GP for both yourself and baby. Be completely honest and say what you've said here. I tried to style it out as I was worried I would be judged - this was a big mistake as it delayed me getting help.

Other things that helped to soothe baby were: baby swing, carrying in a sling, white noise app.

It can and will get better but I do know just how awful this is - like nothing I've ever experienced before. Big hugs x

Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. I echo what everyone has said - please speak to your gp or hv honestly about how you are feeling, and to seek help for your baby. But mostly for you.

I second this - Dr Brown bottles made a huge difference for us too.

My DS had severe cmpa and was like this. Go dairy free/df formula and see what happens

My second was absolutely like this. It was very very difficult. She seemed to have a sore tummy but it did get better with maturity and we got through it. No advice just to say I promise it will improve with time.

Thank you for all your lovely replies, I have phone doctor to explain how I feel and I'm getting a call from a mental health nurse later today. I should have said I experienced all of this with DS1 but it's all abit of a blur I struggled for a long time with him and just started to feel myself when he turned 2. I do think he's got reflux but I'm not sure if they can prescribe it till 1 month. I had to go to A&E with DS1 last time as no one believed me that my baby was ill, he was then diagnosed with CMPA and silent reflux and colic, from there things did get better but only slowly. I think because I've experienced all of this before and I know I was in such a dark place I really can't go there again with 2 baby's dependent on me. My partner is very supportive and we do everything 50/50. I will also look into new bottles!

It is very hard. I was breastfeeding and gave up dairy / meat but it made no difference to her tummy. She improved naturally at 5 months. You really do have to grit your teeth don’t you? I hope you get help and support you need. Minimum you need a snooze while someone else holds your baby. Nothing so tough as a newborn

You have done so well! Good on you for calling the dr. Please feel proud of yourself - literally one of the hardest things to pick up the phone and ask for help.