My dd can't be sick

[13lucky]

Hi there, I wonder if anyone else has experience of this. My dd who is 16 has emetophobia (phobia of being sick) to such an extreme that it seems like she has trained herself not to be sick even when she really needs to be. Today, for example, she has been feeling really, really sick since 1pm today and has been going through the motions of being sick including heaving etc but nothing ever comes out. This happens every time she feels sick. I just feel helpless as to how to help

Pretty common in emetephobia. I have it & while I’m sure I could be sick if poorly enough, I very rarely vomit. Much like your DD, I go through the entire motions, extreme nausea, shivering, wretching & then feeling shaky & sweaty afterwards but don’t actually vomit.

It’s not something I’ve consciously trained myself to do at all. I’ve had this phobia since I was a kid & it’s a completely subconscious thing.

It’s a difficult one. There isn’t an easy fix. I’m 34 & I still have it but it doesn’t control my life. I’ve got myself better to the point I live completely normally until I encounter sick. If my kids are sick or I feel sick etc, that’s when I fall off a cliff of anxiety & terror. This winter has been awful, we’ve had numerous stomach bugs & random vomiting from the kids. I’ve found it very hard. But I’m still here & still OK.

She could try CBT, speak to your GP about a referral. I also carry anti-sickness tablets with me everywhere I go! Otherwise, unfortunately it is just learning to live with it.. being sick is actually fairly rare in adults. Until I had kids, I can’t remember ever having a stomach bug as an adult! And I always drank alcohol sensibly as I was so scared to throw up! How does your DD cope with it in life? Will she eat out with friends etc? Doesn’t obsessively wash hands?

Hi Daqqe, thank you for your message. She does obsessively wash her hands - even before Covid but now even more. Covid has been very hard for her from a germs perspective. She hates being near anyone with even a sniffle of a cold...and finds things like public transport very hard because of having to touch 'dirty' things. She is now avoiding going to parties as they are 16th parties and she has heard there is often alcohol and she is worried about other people being sick and having to see/hear that. She also thought about doing some voluntary work in a primary school when she finished her GCSEs but she says she can't do that because children throw up all the time. So yes, it is affecting her lifestyle unfortunately.

Bit of an odd question, but can/does she burp? Apparently there's a condition whereby the sphincter at the base of the throat is in spasm in some people and it prevents them from burping or vomiting. It can be extremely painful/uncomfortable if they do need to vomit which in turn can lead to emetophobia.

Hi Akite, no she says she cannot burp...I'm now off to google!!

I am an emetophobe, however I've been MUCH improved since having kids...forced desensitization I suppose. I was really vomitous when I had Covid and I coped really well.

However, I struggled big time when I was about your DD's age. I wasn't physically sick AT ALL from age 9 to age 22 as a result. I just somehow stopped myself. Then that came to an abrupt end thanks to norovirus!! Be rest assured that she will probably be able to if her body really needs to. The mental side is much tougher to overcome though and I still struggle with anyone other than my kids being sick.

(Weirdly, I don't really burp either...)

Also an emetaphobic here and will hold back vomit like nobody’s business. I think I’ve vomited about four times in my life that I can remember. It will happen if it really needs to or I get diarrhoea so either way the body does its thing.

It's called retrograde cricopharyngeal dysfunction - snappy name!
There is a podcast on bbc sounds about it, my DD is the same and suffers from most of the symptoms. It can be cured by a Botox injection into the sphincter muscle.
www.michaelpitmanmd.com/retrograde-cricopharyngeal-dysfunction
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0bpc5f6