Toddler kissed baby on lips

[Stressedagain17]

DD was telling her brother good night and gave him a big smack on the lips and now I'm imagining all sorts of scary things.

I have health anxiety and emetophobia. I am now convinced toddler will come down with norovirus overnight and already have contaminated the baby and they'll both be vomiting and it will be horrendous. Especially after I saw on social media yesterday that sickness bugs are rife in the area at the moment (no mention of it at DD nursery yet though)

Then I googled and found all sorts of scary articles too about how dangerous kissing newborns on the lips is and that they could die. DS is 4 months old.

Please talk me down :(

Do you see a Dr got your anxiety?

Oh OP, I don't think anyone will be able to talk you down, that's the problem. You know it's not logical or likely but that doesn't matter when you have anxiety at this level. Are you getting support?

Please don’t discourage your DD from kissing her brother, it’s great that she feels so affectionate towards the new arrival.

OP if one of your children is sick the other one is just as likely to catch it irrespective of a kiss.
Honestly I hope you have help, kids get germs etc- it’s good for their immune systems. Take a breath and step away from google

You need help for your anxiety. Your baby will be absolutely fine

Ah this is a cute thing to do… sorry it’s stressed you out.

I really think you need to see a Dr about your mental health issues as your response isn’t normal

@2022IamHavingYa

Do you see a Dr got your anxiety?

Did you have your head tilted to one side when you said that?

Oh OP you poor thing. Honestly the baby will be fine.

It sounds really difficult for you. This anxiety will pass, you will be able to cope with whatever happens despite what you think now. If you're not already getting help for your health anxiety and emetophobia I would strongly recommend it. CBT could be very helpful for you. I do hope you're ok.

All those articles about "kissing babies on the lips is dangerous" is if the kisser has an active outbreak of herpes (cold sore) as it can cause neonatal herpes. Your DC presumably doesn't have a cold sore?

Adults shouldn’t kiss newborn babies on the lips if they have cold sores. A toddler kissing a 4 month old is fine. And you do need to see a doctor about this - this is not a healthy level of stress for you to put yourself under and it can honestly really help if you get some CBT and maybe some SSRIs? It was a game changer for my anxiety.

Oh OP I’m sorry you are so panicky :(

Those stories would have been from a cold sore and you would absolutely know if your toddler had one. And anyway, 4 months is getting sturdier and less vulnerable. Babies are a hell of a lot stronger than you think. But it’s honestly totally normal for siblings to give each other kisses - try not to put your toddler off or make them feel they’ve done wrong 💕

The people saying you need help for anxiety are right - and I say that from experience. When my youngest was born I was so much worse, she was younger during noro season (other two were summer babies) and there were a couple of times I became a hermit because I knew someone had been sick etc, I was terrified. God knows how I’d have managed if she’d been born during covid times.

Post natal anxiety is very common and medication really can help. 💐

Lots of people take pics of their kissing their newborn siblings, it’s perfectly normal thing to do

Baby will be fine. Please get help for your anxiety and phobias before they affect your children.

Your children will at some point both suffer with bugs, I think you should see you G.P too.

Don’t discourage your toddler from being affectionate, unless he is actually sick. It’ll be fine, try not to worry.

Deadly kisses are around cold sores and the assoc virus. I assume your toddler doesn't have it and if they do they're not having an outbreak?

Even if they don't kiss, they're touching and sharing so much of the same it won't make much difference.

I think it's worth considering if you need to talk to someone about your anxiety of if this is just a blip

Your baby is going to be absolutely fine.
Logically you know the chances of any of these things you’ve googled happening are absolutely minuscule.
Put it this way, technically it’s possible for me to win the euro millions if I buy a ticket but logically I know the chances of me winning are so slim they are almost non existent.
It’s the same for you - technically yes toddler could come down randomly with noro over night and pass it to baby. But the chances are slim OP.

Would you start spending like a lottery winner without the winning ticket? No!
So do you need to invest time and energy into believing your kids are going to get noro over night? No.

Hope you feel better soon, having kids is scary af sometimes

It's no fun having such bad anxiety that you can't find joy in your child displaying spontaneous affection for her newborn sibling. She's just a baby herself, presumably she has no cold sores? Norovirus is incredibly infectious and you could easily catch it without being kissed on the lips. Can you read a book or watch a funny favourite programme with a nice cup of tea- camomile is good for anxiety. I used to have horrendous GAD but I have coping mechanisms now, you'll have to get some too.

Please don’t stop the toddler kissing the baby. It’s sweet they wanted to, they should be allowed to be affectionate.

You really need to get your anxiety under control or you’re going to hugely damage the relationship your children have with each other.

My father-in-laws wife (now long dead) was a disgusting woman. The first time she saw my baby, who was 7 months old at the time, she let her nasty little dog lick the inside of his mouth. It happened so fast, and she thought it loads of fun. I instantly took my son from her and she was never allowed near him again.

That said; son is now in his mid 30's and very health. He didn't catch rabies or worms.

Oh gosh, my DOG has licked my baby's face quite a few times.... Baby fine. Baby healthy. Baby improving his immune system with every lick.
I realise it's really tough with health anxiety and I don't know anything about how you would work on this, but I'm sure you do yourself. Or if not, definitely seek help, don't struggle alone xx

Ok, first of all, newborns and toddlers mix all the time (I’m thinking siblings) and the chances of a deadly illness are very low.

Second of all, stay off Google as that won’t give you a realistic picture.

I used to catastrophise like this and it was a sign of being utterly exhausted with a newborn and toddler, not getting enough sleep and just feeling overwhelmed.

What practical steps would you take if anything happened? You know you’d be able to sort it and get medical treatment quickly.

To get yourself through the night, write out a list of reasons why you think that the worst is unlikely. Rationalise it on paper. Your toddler has probably done this before and you’d not known (unless you’ve always been with your newborn!).

In the longer term, try and make sure you get some “me” time so you can gain a bit of control and with it comes perspective x

Sorry you are feeling so anxious OP. I think post natal anxiety is often missed - there's much better awareness of post natal depression - but looking back it clouded almost the whole of DS2 first year for me. Please reach out to your GP for some help.

It's lovely your toddler kissed the baby, totally normal and perfectly safe 🙂

You poor thing OP. Please try and get some help as it sounds so stressful for you and with a baby and another very young child this type of thing will be constantly happening (and perfectly normal and okay). Please speak to your gp.