DD(6) refusing Covid test - what to do?

[RoseStar]

Hi all, DD has come home from school with sore throat, headache and temp of 38.5. She’s flatly refusing to have a Covid test, I've tried everything. Coaxing, making it fun, offering toys/treats/rewards, doing one myself (terrified her), other bribery, guilt tripping… nothing is sticking.

Any suggestions as to what I can do?! Do one whilst she’s asleep?? Or would it work if she coughed / blew her nose really hard on a tissue then I swab that?

All suggestions as to how to get a test welcome, not interested in anyone who questions why I’m testing.

Thank you!

... just don't do the test.

Take her for a PCR test. We did this and the assistant was brilliant and did it for child. She saw child crying before she got to our car and came prepared with a little gift "because I know you are going to be brave and let me do this"

@Simplelobsterhat

My 6yo ds has needed loads of tests and hates them. Always in drive through for pcr. The first time a member of staff did it and it scared the life our of him so didn't help. Every other time we've has to do it (no idea how one even books for someone else to do it these days). He gets upset as soon as swab goes near him.

We don't even try tonsils anymore as instructions say you can do 2 nostrils instead. He still hates it though! I always restrain him in car seat and list the things he won't be able to do if he has to isolate for 10 days because he hasn't tested. We usually end up doing lots of short swabs rather than 10 - 15 seconds in one go. Last time we tried him doing it on himself which was a little better although he got upset when I was nagging him to go further up.

Good luck. It's horrible isn't it. Both of us crying while I begged, 'please we need to do this or no birthday' and test centre staff stared at the commotion was not my finest moment!

Why has he needed"loads" of tests though?

Why are you forcing him to do this?

He will remember being restrained and threatened.

Fucking madness.

@RoseStar

Ok so I booked an appt for tomorrow morning and just turned up. They were happy to have us now, massive fail on the part of DD. Flatly refused. We’ve been given a home PCR test to take back and post tomorrow. Suspect will have to engage DH to pin her down. This is awful… surely there’s an easier way for kids??

Interesting about not going to testing centre with symptoms. I put in the system that she has symptoms and it offered me a walk in centre. Temp raging towards 39 even with calpol. Fck.

There is an easier way... You don't subject your kids to the test.

Im extremely worried about the pyschological damage we are inflicting on these poor kids. Think about what you are doing. Does it actually sound sane and normal because i dont think it does. Some of you have lost perspective along the way and are becoming quite hysterical about all this and it is not a great legacy to pass on to our children whose childhoods have been pretty messed up in the last 18 months anyway.

Does it actually sound sane and normal

No. They all sound like abusive lunatics.

To those saying don’t do the test , would you send your child back to school before the 10 day isolation? And risk infecting others? Or are you saying don’t do it and just isolate for 10 days, which is surely challenging for any family

I see the conspiracy theorists are here - Darwinism at it's finest!

Glad OP managed it in the end but I really don't get all the hand-wringing?

When there is a need for medical treatment / testing / vaccination etc my children get things explained to them when old / capable enough to understand and restrained when not. Hugs and little rewards afterwards - they have all survived and still love me / know they are loved.

What if little Elspeth really can't bear the thought of having a cast on her broken leg or taking the yucky anti-malarial meds? Do you just let them refuse and hope for the best?

Adults make decisions for children every day - seatbelts in the car, coats when it's snowing, not allowing 6 doughnuts for dinner, because children don't have critical decision-making skills and it's your job to make those decisions for them until they are competent.

Thanks @Bollockingfuck - I agree.

And thanks to everyone for their suggestions, especially re going straight to LFT and the error message on system. Also definitely agree the staff at the testing centres are superb. Very patient and understanding.

DD was actually a bit sheepish afterwards as she realised it really wasn’t that bad at all! Now we wait for the test results.

*going straight to PCR, sorry

@SophiesMummySaid

To those saying don’t do the test , would you send your child back to school before the 10 day isolation? And risk infecting others? Or are you saying don’t do it and just isolate for 10 days, which is surely challenging for any family

Well, isolating whether positive result or because you didn't test and want to be sure results in the same thing, surely?

I wouldn't subject my small child to being restrained and threatened to get the test done.

@Bollockingfuck

I see the conspiracy theorists are here - Darwinism at it's finest!

Glad OP managed it in the end but I really don't get all the hand-wringing?

When there is a need for medical treatment / testing / vaccination etc my children get things explained to them when old / capable enough to understand and restrained when not. Hugs and little rewards afterwards - they have all survived and still love me / know they are loved.

What if little Elspeth really can't bear the thought of having a cast on her broken leg or taking the yucky anti-malarial meds? Do you just let them refuse and hope for the best?

Adults make decisions for children every day - seatbelts in the car, coats when it's snowing, not allowing 6 doughnuts for dinner, because children don't have critical decision-making skills and it's your job to make those decisions for them until they are competent.

But there's absolutely no need for a child to be traumatised and threatened into taking the test.

Because you could just not take the test and assume a positive result and isolate.

Well, isolating whether positive result or because you didn't test and want to be sure results in the same thing, surely?

I’m testing because I’d like it to be negative so I don’t have to isolate her at all. I’d rather she was in school (and that vulnerable family members weren’t put at unnecessary risk) than at home unnecessarily in the event she tests negative.

@00100001 Are you suggesting that it’s better to assume you’re positive and isolate at home for ten days (which is the guidance), than to test and find out for sure… with the outcome more than likely being that it’s not Covid, just a regular virus, and she’ll be back in by Friday?

My 8yo wouldn’t do a test until about 6 weeks ago so we’ve had to act like he’s positive and isolate twice when he’s had a cough. I wouldn’t expect the staff at the vaccine centre to help, they keep their distance. One suggested I restrain DS but I wasn’t up for trying that out! We practiced with a cotton bud

OK reading back my comments they sound worse than it really was - when I say restrained I mean he was strapped in to his seat, and I was slightly talking up the level of hysteria in sympathy with the op. The no birthday thing was shorthand for me explaining we wouldn't be able to see people as planned if we hadn't got him checked out, not a threat.
The loads of tests thing is something we are now looking into with the gp as it's bought home how often he gets a temperature.
However, he understands why we are doing it, just gets upset about it (in the same way some adults need to be sedated for procedures because they can't stay calm, even though they know they need the procedure).
I am surprised by how many people on here would never force small children to do anything though. Sometimes if it's for their own good you kind of have to (with reassurance and cuddles and treats etc too. I forget online people don't know me and can't judge tone and I have to spell out that bit).

I don't feel good about it though of course - I fact I agonise over it, like most of parenting, but it's either that, risk infecting people we know by lying about getting a test, or take 10 days off school and all social life frequently so he doesn't have to test (which is also damaging in other ways).
And most of these occasions were with previous rules and less people vaccinated so it would have been 14 days for him and also his sister, self employed dad etc isolating or potentially making someone we know seriously ill or worse.
There are no easy answers with covid and whilst I very much understand people having different views and making different decisions, i will never understand how any parent is so confident their way of doing it is right as I see on mumsnet.

@StressyWoman practising with a cotton bud is an EXCELLENT idea!

I had been quite conscious of this happening from the start, and I made sure I have always done lots of tests in front of the kids to try to make it less scary for them when the time came they needed their own. My older DD is absolutely fine with them, just didn’t work for the middle one!

Because you could just not take the test and assume a positive result and isolate.

Because everyone can afford to loose 10 days off work everytime their kids get a sniffle or cold, especially when parents are 95% certain it is just a cold.

@Viviennemary

I was told you can't go in person to a test centre if you have symptoms.

Of course you can, that's why you go

Hope you find a way OP. Cotton bud is a good idea.

My friend has her dc stick a finger up her nose and use the other finger to feel how far up it went (for normal nose picking style). Then kept the finger on the outside of the nose in the same place and pulled out the inserted finger amd replaced with the swab. The outside finger meant that the dc wasnt worried the swab would go up too far, and friend was able to be silly amd joke about the finger all covered in boogers and ‘dont touch me with it’ silliness so the whole thing went off quite easily.

She sounds like what my 6 yo had, def just viral and pcr was negative. He doesn't like them but he's compliant enough that I can pin him and do it myself (nose only) whilst he screams loudly

Because you could just not take the test and assume a positive result and isolate every time one of them gets a temperature?? I have 3 kids. First temperature was BH Mon, last one started on the Friday so we'd have been isolating 15 days in total, as well as having to notify the people we'd been with on the Monday that it might be covid but we don't know. Not everyone can just book weeks at a time off repeatedly

@Lockdownbear

Because you could just not take the test and assume a positive result and isolate.

Because everyone can afford to loose 10 days off work everytime their kids get a sniffle or cold, especially when parents are 95% certain it is just a cold.

Well what would they do it was positive???

OK, fine restrain and threaten your child and force them to take the test then. 🤷‍♀️

Well what would they do it was positive???
If their child has covid three or four times over a period of months, I think they'd need to be urgently speaking to someone