Would you take your child to see the Dr? Advice needed please!!!

[Dandy008]

My son is 18 months old.

He’s had an on/off cough for a few months now.
(had several negative Covid tests)

Over the last few days his cough has become much worse and yesterday he started with a high temperature.

Ive taken him for another Covid test today (requested by the nursery, but also because our Drs wouldn’t allow us to the surgery without a negative PcR)

The Drs yesterday said if his breathing is affected we should take him to A&E otherwise we are to wait until we have a negative PcR and then the Drs will check him over.

Today his chest sounds awful and very rattly / raspy.

He is breathing normally but sounds very weasy and still has a high temperature. (38.8)

Ive spoken to my husband and said I feel like we should get him checked out, and he literally flipped and starting shouting at me.

I have a history of anxiety (I’m currently having CBT) and I know that I can sometimes be over the top / worry excessively.

My husband has said our son doesn’t need to see a Dr and I’m going to make him into an “anxious mess” like me if I carry on like this… 😕

I literally don’t even trust my own judgement anymore because every time our son is unwell my and I raise concerns with my husband, he disagrees or tells me I’m wrong and it’s just me being anxious.

Please can someone be a bit more gentle than my twat of a husband and tell me what is the best thing to do?!

@PlasticDinosaur

Poor guy! DS started nursery in April and the only time he's not been dripping with snot or coughing is the last two weeks and that's only because it's summer holidays I keep telling myself he'll have an immune system of steel. When you say wheeze (forgive me I'm not trying to patronise people use it for all sorts of noises) is it a whistling noise or is it a crackly noise? Is it on the in breath, out breath or both?

@PlasticDinosaur

It’s a crackly noise, not whistling (sorry I might using the term wheeze incorrectly)
It sounds like he’s a smoker!!

It sounds to be more crackly when he’s breathing out than in.

@LittleCatDog

My 17 month old seemed to have a constant cold for 6 months this year and really stubborn cough. It's hard no to worry isn't it. I took him to the GP and he said lockdown babies were suffering a lot this year with coughs and colds. Mine didn't have anything for the first 9 months of his life not even a sniffle then started nursery and it was just constant. I don't see the harm in a GP appointment just to be sure it's nothing else especially when they're so young. Hope it clears up soon!

@LittleCatDog

It’s the same for us too.

That sounds reassuring to me. Rule of thumb is get him seen if you're concerned but hopefully it's run of the mill nurseryitis!

This isn't something you need to address now, as obviously getting your DS checked out is of paramount importance. I hope he can be seen ASAP and you can get some reassurance - or more helpful treatment for him, poor thing!

But when things improve a bit, I just wanted to say ... it isn't right for your husband to put you down, make you feel small, or not be supportive. He's entitled to disagree but not to treat you badly. When your DS is better, maybe you two could have a calm chat about how his belittling is affecting you, if you think he'd listen to that. (If you think he wouldn't, that's also not great.)

Lots of good wishes for DS to feel much better soon

Thanks everyone. We’re seeing the Dr at 4pm.

We have to wait in the car and the Dr is going to take us through a different entrance so we avoid the waiting room (Incase it’s Covid 😓)

Ring the Dr. My little one has a temperature, cough and snot for 4 days. Cough initially was fine but has moved to the lungs. If you can’t contact dr ring 111. I did this on Sunday evening when temperature wouldn’t go down with medication and they got a doctor to come over and see us in the night and rang every 2hrs to check up of LO. If you’re worried ring. And your husband is being an idiot- babies and toddlers can deteriorate quickly. X

Hope you've been seen by now and are on the way home ❤️

We’ve been seen. He has a chest infection 😢

He’s been prescribed antibiotics and we’ve been told to increase his inhaler to 4 x a day.

The Dr said she was debating giving him a course of steroids.

She hasn’t, and has told me to see how he gets on with the antibiotics and increased inhaler usage.

Very glad you got an answer. I hope you've had an apology from your husband too.

Glad you took him in then. Don’t worry a chest infection is mild and you’ve caught it early. If you hadn’t taken him in, it might have progressed to bronchitis or pneumonia. You’ve done well. He’ll be better soon.

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate it.

Now to deal with the husband… 😑

I’m glad he’s been seen.

Now:

Honestly he makes me feel so small / stupid.

I have zero confidence in myself as a mother and he makes it so much worse. 😓

I would start a thread about this! You deserve better

Yeah,
I guess it shows that the CBT for anxiety is working and he needs to acknowledge that instead of assuming you are always wrong/anxious. He should stop, listen, look and then decide what he thinks as what he did was literally a knee jerk reaction in which he dismissed you.

I get it though, I have schizophrenia and once complained at a doctor well check that I thought I had fungus on my scalp as it was itching and I was scratching a lot. The doctor wrote it as “Plan is experiencing psychotic symptoms as she thinks mushrooms are growing on her head” and next thing I knew, my anti-psychotics were increased. I had to go back and get the doctor to look at my scalp and sure enough I had a skin infection...I was not having a psychotic breakthrough.

But the point of that story is that once labelled with a mental condition, it can be hard for even people we are close to to look past the label and actually stop, listen, look and then decide.

@PlanDeRaccordement

I’m so so sorry that happened to you.

I feel like my husband will always put my concerns down to anxiety.
I remember when our son was a few months old and I told him I thought he had had an umbilical hernia. His response was to tell me to stop googling shit and there was nothing wrong.

A few days later he asked me if I thought his tummy button looked weird…
Turns out he did have an umbilical hernia.

I hadn’t actually googled anything, my niece had had one and I recognised how they looked!!

Meh, it’s just a funny story now, I’m not bothered by it.
Good luck with your husband. I hope he comes round.

Always trust your instinct. I had exactly the same with my little boy and my husband was like stop being so dramatic. Very high fever that wouldn't come down after 2 days. 39C wasnt covid so 111 told me to take him to a and e at 1am as it took ages for them to call back and GP was closed. Ended up it was an infection and he needed antibiotics.

Your instincts are there for a reason, you were right this time so trust them in the future. Don't second guess yourself, or let your DH or GP undermine your confidence.
Glad your little one is on the right meds to be on the road to recovery.

@ilovepuggies

When it comes to my children I’ve decided that if I’m even thinking about getting medical advice I decide to do it. Peace of mind if nothing is wrong and then treatment if there is something. Listen to your instinct. I’ve disagreed with my husband before and taken them anyway.

Exactly this. Children are resilient but equally they can go down hill very quickly. I'd ring 111 and ask for support or just take him to your A&E if you're very worried. Ignore your DH. Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your children's health.