Son (6) saw Grandad have a stroke

[llGrantyll]

My young boy and his Sister (5) saw their Grandad have a stroke, believed to have been brought on by the Astra Zeneca Vaccine (they cancelled his second dose and changed to Pfizer) turned out he had bloodclots on the brain but that's another story (He seems to be recovering well)

My Daughter seems fine but we have noticed some change in our Son, The day it happened Mum had taken them to their Grandads, he lives alone so the kids possibly saved his life as they ran through shouting Mum, he had slumped in his chair and blood was coming from his mouth, (Suspected bitten tongue) They shouted Mum who was in the Kitchen, he was unresponsive for 15-20 Minutes and an Ambulance came.
Our Son now has started leaving the bedroom door open to let light in and following us closely everywhere such as if we go into the kitchen whilst he is playing his Playstation he will move to the middle room and play it from like 8 meters away just to be close, if I go for a wee I don't recall a time over the last 3 weeks that he's not been outside the toilet door or edging it open before I leave... He tells us he loves us 6-7 times a day, I'm not saying that's bad or not normal just it's an increase on previous. There has been far more tears over nothing since too such as bath time etc
I do think possibly he is worried about losing us due to what happened with Grandad.

Of course I don't mind these things just they are clear changes and we are wondering if there should have been any mental support, if there could be any possible long term effects?

Tbh it was a teacher who pulled me up and said since the half term he had seemed different, I mean she wasn't specific but said that that day he had had his head on the desk and looked tired and asked if I wanted her to refer him to the doctors. I said we'll keep an eye on it but actually felt a bit angry at first that the teacher said that just because he seemed tired one single day, I thought on it and the next day told her what happened with Grandad but it appeared to go over her head somewhat. The kids both sleep well and he was a bit off that day with a sore throat so I think that was more the issue?

Teacher has since said he seems back to his happy self, he is no1 in the class at reading and maths and has really thrown himself into that to the point I have told him to settle down and have some time for himself as it gets close to bed time but he says he enjoys it.

So we feel we have made some ground and got closer to normality just these few things persist, I have sat down 2-3 times and talked over what happened and/or asked if anything is bothering him but generally there isn't much apparent and so I was hoping to get any advice or opinions here, hopefully it's just a phase but I don't want to get down the line and realise things have spiraled from this.

Thanks

That is a terrible traumatic thing to happen - and to witness that at 5! poor ds. I expect people will suggest counselling etc, and I would agree, but I can also retell what happened to my ds.
He was 14, and his friend at school had kept v v v quiet about his home life - single parent, living in a HMO, didn't speak the language fully. The mum apparently took off for home country, leaving 14yo alone for 5 weeks (looked after/fed by others in the HMO). The child killed himself.

Ds was traumatised for years after - not only because of what had happened, but because he felt he should have known and should have done something. For a few years after, around June, the time of his friend's death, he became withdraw and quiet, but he did come out of it. He still is sad about his friend, obvs.

What I an trying to say is - talk to your son (in an age-appropriate way) about how he could not have helped, could not have done anything, whatever he did was ok... he may be feeling guilty that he didn't do enough, or did the wrong thing.

I agree, be there for you son and let him know his feelings are natural. His teacher needs to be a bit more clued up, a child in my youngest dc’s class witnessed a very serious incident and it affected the whole class as the child spoke about it a lot at breaks etc. The other children started to worry about seeing the same thing.

Thanks, I think your right we need to be mindful, I have talked to them both and particularly my Son, we have praised them for reacting quickly and told them that they could have saved him. It's so difficult trying not to draw too much attention to the whole thing but also making sure they are Ok and getting the answers. I think possibly it has affected him but he doesn't realise and that's why he says there's nothing bothering him even though we can see the change.

Come to think of it It's strange how I never thought back until now, I must have been 5-7 when I saw a man die through natural causes at a family friends house, I remember being confused but I'm not sure it affected me much?
There was another thing also that i actually remember upsetting me though i was a bit older then, maybe 10-11, me and my friend went to bible classes, we Weren't/aren't particularly religious but we were young and it was interesting at the time, one of the lady's said that if your Mum doesn't go to church she will be locked out of heaven, I asked if she would go to hell and she said yes and attempted to explain why. I cried for the next 2-3 nights before telling my Mum who said if you want me to go to church I will. I never went back to those bible classes, I thought least then I go with my Mum... But i did start to think of how fickle life is and about losing my Mum at that time so I can relate a bit maybe, the mind of a child certainly is more complicated than an adult, even thinking back i can't really remember what I was thinking. Of course now I think that the Religious lady had strong beliefs of which she probably should have been more sensitive with around kids who were new to those classes.

Anyway thanks for your opinions, I will keep a close eye and just make sure that we are there, we are very close I just find it hard to be sure that he is telling me everything but I think with my own memories i have mentioned here that I understand more now that kids can be confused quite easily and not fully understand what it is that they are feeling.