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2yo refused milk so she doesn’t get fat

13 replies

SewingSpider · 10/05/2021 22:56

Absolutely shocked tonight when my 2 year old (nearly three) turned down her milk because she said it would make her fat. We haven’t really spoken about body image with her as I thought she was too young so was very taken aback to hear it from her. I suspect it has come from the person looking after her today as she’s never said it before, but just at a bit of a loss to think she will start to make those judgements about herself already.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with a toddler?

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BIWI · 10/05/2021 22:57

No.

Duggeehugs82 · 10/05/2021 23:00

No not normal at all and i would suggest someone else look after her , if that is what she is saying

lobsteroll · 10/05/2021 23:00

Gosh, how depressing. What did you say back to her?

BananaSpanner · 10/05/2021 23:02

No. That’s ridiculous. Strong conversation needs to be had with whoever it is. Either that or someone else looks after her.

yikesanotherbooboo · 10/05/2021 23:03

I have never heard a little one say anything like that but have heard adults making comments about themselves or others without thinking.

Dontstepinthecowpat · 10/05/2021 23:05

I’m going to take a wild guess that your MIL was looking after her.

I can’t imagine a two year old understanding the concept of ‘fat’ or how milk intake correlates to it.

yikesanotherbooboo · 10/05/2021 23:07

It's two things isn't it?
The fact that milk might be fattening and the fact that to be 'fat' is a negative status.
Both attitudes are awful but I am concerned that your little one has absorbed all this and it would suggest to me that it is not a one off misspeaking but that the attitude has been voiced numerous times. It is really not acceptable.

HowsYourHeadHun · 10/05/2021 23:08

That's so sad and I'd seek other childcare arrangements.

My DN when he was 4 kept saying 'I can't eat that, I'll get fat' I used to say to him stop saying these things because it wasn't true. His mother would tell him if he at crisps or any sort of treat he'd get fat whilst stuffing a cake into her own mouth. When I found out who was saying this to him I was furious. He soon learnt it was okay to have these things in moderation.
He doesn't live with her now but the damage is done. He's thin now, not anorexic but he could
do with putting weight on.

SewingSpider · 10/05/2021 23:08

I didn’t say anything back as I was too shocked and couldn’t really comprehend it. I wasn’t sure if she was just repeating something she’d heard but she didn’t drink her milk which she normally is keen to have before bed.

I am overweight and suspect the other person is trying to stop my daughter being like me in a not very thoughtful way. I’m trying to help her enjoy healthier food and being active without having any real conversations about it but I guess I can’t avoid it forever, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.

To be honest it’s making me feel quite emotional so I need to think on what to say and how to spiral to the person I suspect she got it from.

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SewingSpider · 10/05/2021 23:08

How to speak to the other person*

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Duggeehugs82 · 10/05/2021 23:12

@SewingSpider

I didn’t say anything back as I was too shocked and couldn’t really comprehend it. I wasn’t sure if she was just repeating something she’d heard but she didn’t drink her milk which she normally is keen to have before bed.

I am overweight and suspect the other person is trying to stop my daughter being like me in a not very thoughtful way. I’m trying to help her enjoy healthier food and being active without having any real conversations about it but I guess I can’t avoid it forever, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.

To be honest it’s making me feel quite emotional so I need to think on what to say and how to spiral to the person I suspect she got it from.

Just wanted to say i am overweight myself and have a 2 year old i would be fumming. So angry, this is beginning of disordered eating and she is 2 for god sake i would be telling the person who was looking after her how angry i was with them and i would let her not look after her again and explain why. Im sorry ur going through this. This has made me so angry on ur behalf 😤
DelurkingAJ · 10/05/2021 23:13

I repeat and repeat ‘in this house we believe in all things in moderation’.

With us it was school, doing healthy eating and asking the four year olds what ‘swaps’ they would make to be healthier...maybe low fat yoghurt. I barely refrained from having words with the school as my DS1 was slightly underweight at the time (and doesn’t like sweets or chocolate so there really wasn’t much to cut).

SewingSpider · 11/05/2021 16:48

I sent a message to the other person today to ask if anything happened that might have caused it and she said no, and denies saying anything but it might have been said without thinking or it could have come from somewhere else and just been coincidental timing.

My daughter had her milk this morning with no problems, at least. She is like other toddlers in that she has no issue running around naked so hopefully she doesn’t have any body issues yet but it’s worried me. I’ve been quite tearful about it but hopefully we will take a positive from it and try to be healthier as a family without focusing on that side of it.

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