Newly diagnosed ASD

[Zigzag77]

Hi everyone

My 8 year old was recently diagnosed with moderate to mild autism. I would really like to get him some help on developing his social skills and help him to form bonds / make interactions with people, as he is completely unable to now. He is monosyllabic at best and never ever starts a conversation with anyone outside his family.

Does anyone in London have any suggestions re workshops or therapies that helped their children in this area? I’ve been reading up about ABA therapy but it’s quite controversial from what I see so would be interested in knowing anyone’s experiences.. thank you in advance!

Bump anyone?

I would post this on the SEN board for more advice.

This could be hard to hear but he might never develop the relationships and friendships in the way you would like him to. That’s not to say he won’t make connections but it might look different to a NT view of friendships. However this doesn’t mean he’s unhappy, it’s really hard as a NT parent to almost sit back and accept our children as they are, we want the best, we know what they are missing out on etc.

There may be ways you can help develop his social skills and friendships it’s not something I have ever explored but I would ask you to really reconsider any type of ABA “therapy”. Autism can not be cured and people with autism should not be made to feel they have to change to try and fit in to a NT world. It’s harmful and actually quite cruel. Trying to make an autistic person behave how we want can be so distressing and at time physically painful e.g. making the stay in a loud or busy environment.

Oh gosh ABA is really frowned upon in the autistic community. I would advise you joining the Facebook group “U.K. autism spectrum parents support group“ you will get good advice on there if you are on Facebook but they don’t allow you to mention ABA as I said. But it’s a really supportive group

The best advice I received from a highly experienced paediatrician was Asd is not a problem, rather it is the extremely common co-morbid mental health problems. I am no expert but I have approached my DS’s Asd with this in mind. I think that this is what the pp means.

For example, For years I accepted (with difficulty) that the immediate family was DS’s friendship circle and that he did not have friends of his own age. As a teenager, he has just recently started socialising with his peer group, via an online gaming portal and now has a lovely friendship group of rather similar boys. He is happy and fulfilled but not in the way other young people are. He is also on track for 5 strong A levels and is aiming for a career as a computer programmer.

All best wishes op and pp. sorry not to have more concrete advice except to say that it has taken a long long time and I wish I could have had a crystal ball when DS was 8 to see him now.