Problems with my 3 and a half year old.

[Zenab12]

Hi so I'm just looking for some advice here, I know that I should prbbably talk to the doctor if these issues are still happening but just thought I'd ask for some advice to see if it's necessary to go to the doctor right now.

So today I picked my son up from nursery, the teacher asked me to one side and asked me if my 3 and a half year old ( will be 4 at the very end of July) little boy. She asked me if he is sleeping, I said we have a few problems with his sleep and she said I could have a chat with her. Basically he still doesn't sleep through, he wakes up still 4 to 5 times a night, he comes to my bed and gets in the bed with me, bevause I got so tired with it I started letting him into the bed instead of putting him back everh time into his own bed just so I could get some sleep, I asked him why he wasn't sleeping in his own bed and he said he was scared. We made him a room with his 5 year old sister but the issues still happen. She said she was asking bevause "he really wasn't himself today" she said when my husband dropped him of this morning when she said good morning his eye looked a bit funny and he didn't seem himself, she said she asked him if he was sad or tired and she said he said no. I asked her if she noticed this before she said no but he's very quiet normally anyway, but today more quite than usual.

I explained to her that for the past 2/3 days he hadn't gone to sleep until 8.30pm/9.30pm I have been putting him into bed as usual at 7.30pm but for the past few days he has just been refusing to sleep and will scream if I take his toys away from him in bed. He is a very very active little boy, his teacher says he's very quiet but at home he basically bounces of the walls. He never sits down, he is so active and cries in the day bevause I think he needs to nap but he just refuses too, mainly because I need to home school my 5 year old daughter and she has 3 video calls a day, also when he sees she isn't napping he refuses even more. I have however managed to put him for a nap now.
Last night he slept in his bed for the whole night, I have aniexty so I was worried hwdn I woke up this morning, I had to wake him up bevause he was still in such a deep sleep this is the first time it's happened so the teacher said it could just be these last few days if sleeping late have caught up with him.

But as am aniexty sufferer it has now made me think somethings wrong with him and upset me.

He is also constipated, yesterday I had a very tough day with him because he keeps doing little bits of poo in his under wear, he only poos around 3 times a week. He honestly refuses to eat anything, he won't eat veg, he will eat fruit. But he refuses to eat meals, and he has tantrums at meal times, eventually I only end up getting him to eat a few spoonfuls of his meal. He just only wants to drink sugar free fruit juice literally all day. Obviously with what the teacher told me I have judt been so emotional, my husband called me and told me to take him to the doctor for his constipation because its not normal but I told my husband he literally won't eat and my husband just tells me I have to force him, but I don't understand how I can.

I know that realistically he is over tired bevause he hasn't been napping and sleeping late and I know his constipation is because he is not eating properly at all. But as an aniexty sufferer I'm just thinking somethings wrong with him now.

Do you think it is worth speaking to the doctor about this?
Do you have any ideas what I can get him to eat to help?
He will literally just look a food and say no im not eating it. I'm at my wits end

Oh OP you sound so stressed.

My first piece of advice to you is to not worry so much, nothing you have written sounds terribly worrying or desperately bad.

You cannot make you son eat and trying to force him will Not End Well. All you can do is to offer him a range of healthy foods and let him choose. You could cut down on the squash though - maybe only offer water or milk between meals? You can try hiding vegetables in food (do you have a blender?) Please dont let mealtimes become a battle though and dont let him see you are worried or it will become a battle of wills. The best thing you can do is relax.

You can speak to a doctor about the constipation, he might need some medicine to help sort it. My ds was on/off with movicol for years (he did eat fruit and veg but was rubbish at drinking).

Regarding the sleep, I suggest you both get some and worry about him sleeping in his bedroom later. If you dont want him in your bed, try making up a little bed on the floor in your room and tell him he can sleep in that. Naps are good if you can manage them but he's at an age where most grow out of them and - if he starts sleeping better at night, he'll likely do the same.

If he's bouncing off the walls at home but not at nursery, it could be down to the squash. I know things like that massively affect me! I have to be so careful what I eat and drink after 1/2pm if I want to settle well at night. It may or may not be a factor but I think definitely worth looking into.

How long has it been going on for?

Hi OP,

The best advice I can give you is to echo @Porcupineintherough. Honestly, so many children at this age are either anti veg, or anti fruit etc, yet as parents, we often feel so desperately helpless. I think todays guidelines are to support diet by giving a good multi vitamin. My young ones love the orange haliborange but any will do.
In my experience the more fuss we parents make, the less results when it comes to food. My son has ASD and would literally only drink milk. It was a bloomin nightmare. It took a year of gradually building up his diet to a healthy level. Visit GP, as this won't do any harm or at least chat to health visitor. Get something to get his bowels moving again. If he's seeming run down, he could just be tired, or actually coming down with something. to start with, I blended lots of veg up into like a tomato sauce and mixed it with pasta.