3.5 all of a sudden petrified of noise!!

[lilsmumma]

Hi all, I'm new to this so bare with me.

My daughter is 3.5, meeting all milestones and is ahead in a few areas. LOVES learning, jigsaw puzzles, arts and crafts etc. Missing nursery very much due to covid, as I'm sure lots of children are.

My concern is she all of a sudden hates loud noises. If I use the hair dryer, she'll ask to stop but isn't overly bothered if I continue to use it. Isn't keen I use it on her but will let me.

She HATES when we sing happy birthday. Every single time for as long as I can remember, she sobs right from the start and continues for 5-10mins after we've finished. Partners family is large ( 5 siblings ) we are all close and celebrate birthdays together. She has said she's scared when we ask why she doesn't like it.

Randomly she'll say Alexa hurts her ears? Doesn't like the sound of remote control cars but will happily play with a skalectrics ??

Is fine with the hoover, not keen on hand driers but will reluctantly use before covid. (We don't go anywhere anymore due to tier system)

Has anyone experienced this? I'm going to make a GP appointment in the morning to get her ears checked but I'm so worried for her.

Thanks

It could possibly be hyperacusis. Or perhaps a psychological sensory issue

Does she seem in pain ?

If she is not really bothered if you carry on with the hairdryer, how is she saying it is affecting her

I would suspect glue ear and get a hearing test. I’m sure there are huge waiting lists right now so might be worth going private straight to Paed audiologist if you can afford.

My dd had exactly the same - she had really bad glue ear and needed grommets

She doesn't seem to be in any pain.

She mostly tells me "I don't like it" or "I can't do it".

Then gets upset. She's always needed a bit more encouragement, she's a very unsure child which we work through things at our own pace.

For example, she all of a sudden took a disliking to swimming. In the summer if she doesn't want to go in the pool, she will say and we respect that. We get the little kiddie pool out and after a while, and lots of encouragement will enjoy the kiddie pool.

I've emailed her nursery teacher to see if they've picked up anything.

Have you had her hearing tested? Could she have damaged an ear drum?

Not exactly the same but I couldn’t head properly as a baby, at 4 I had an operation so I could hear and was terrified of loud noise. Balloons still make me nervous.

No I haven't had her ears tested.

Although I'm hoping they will be. She's a very healthy child. She's only ever been to the doctors a few times.

Hearing wise she appears fine, you can whisper something from across the room and she'll repeat it/do what I said etc.

My heart just breaks for her rn.

Can you suggest an audiology referral? It's quite a typical age for glue ear. Typical sx too!

Oh I've just seen what you've said about her hearing appearing fine. And she doesn't complain of pain in her ear?
Is she otherwise typically normal, no autistic traits ect?

No concerns regarding autism.

She joins in well at nursery, social skills have been commented on as wonderful and lovely for her age by her teachers. They're really happy with her turning taking, manners and new found confidence to join in all activities. (I wish she had the same confidence at home) She's meeting all milestones, and is ahead in many areas such as Speech and language. Recognising numbers, letters, colours and shapes!

Nursery have given us the go ahead to do extras at home with her because she has the ability to...

She's mentioned her ears hurt when Alexa has been on loud, but that's the only time I can think of.

Hearing can be very deceptive - can seem fine but children can hear some frequencies and not others. We thought dd could hear fine because she could hear the gravel crunching when the post came. We were totally wrong

My dd also has anxiety and can be quite phobic. Separately from the hearing there are ASD traits in our family. One dd would probably get a dx if we wanted but is doing well at school in terms of study, has challenges and has friends. The other dd has anxiety and can be quite phobic as well but those are her only traits and otherwise she’s very popular in class and does very well.

If there are potential phobias it might be worth trying a mix of reassurance and desensitisation which has worked very well for both my dds.

With fear of sound a good audiologist should be able to advise how to approach once hearing issues have been ruled out

Ds5 has this from a very young age. He does still get funny about some things, he always hated happy birthdays too, and still now if it gets sung for anyone's birthday he's on the edge of tears, but since being at school the last 1.5 years he's become a lot better. When he started school he was too upset to go play in the playground at breaks and we found out he was hiding in the toilets, which still breaks my heart, because of the noise, his teacher gave him ear defenders and it helped massively and after a couple months he stopped using them and got used to the noises and was fine. He now largely doesn't have an issue with noises but is a quiet sensitive and very observant child. We never found out what it was but doctors, health visitors etc didn't ever seem concerned.

I'll also add when he was in reception at school last year his teacher did bring up the idea of him being autistic, because of the noise issue and because of being ahead in learning, obsessive over numbers and he has a practically photographic memory, but it never came to anything and that's not something anyone believes he has, he's just bright and sensitive to things!

Just on the subject of ear defenders, really glad they helped for previous pp’s dc, but they need to be used with extreme caution - the paed audiologist we saw advised strongly against them because they can actually make things worse - ideally child brains need to gradually get used to sound where there is a fear of it and removing exposure can actually worsen hyperaccusis. It is worth consulting a paed audiologist before using them

@boymum9 he may just have a few traits. I have photographic memory, very anxious and struggle emotionally. But I’m fine and score incredibly low on autism checklists. I have two dds - one has a few traits like me but the other probably would get a dx.

DS had bad glue ear from tiny. We picked it up because he had multiple ear infections (talking about roughly every 10 days).
Until he had a hearing test I really wouldn't have picked up that he was not hearing that well. He'd taught himself to lip read, and had adapted really round all he could hear-which was about 10% of normal.

But also loud noises do cause him physical pain. ENT described it as there's a muscle that acts like a damper on the ear drum. It's been damaged through multiple ear infections, so doesn't work properly.
So I'd get them checked for an ear infection.

I'm also thinking glue ear. From the experience of my DD's behaviour, some frequencies can be magnified hugely and be unbearable although these seem fairly random. Singing and humming was top of the list and she could detect it even from different rooms(!), electronic noise like a hand dryer, or large echoing places like sports halls, even some restaurants, also made for problems very quickly.

When DD could speak more, she also described feeling always as if there was a radio or TV playing quietly in the background for her, even when in bed. Although she did not have delayed speech, the findings of the audiology referral were that she'd already got through mild and to 'medium' hearing reduction with damage on one side, which has remained but doesn't appear to cause troubles some years on, as long as the noise types she can't cope with are still avoided.

GP checked her ears and he said she has perfect ears. Not too much or little wax. No damage. He thinks she's just overwhelmed by loud noises....

So that's something we'll have to work through together. Thanks for all your comments! Really appreciate the support from total strangers 💖

Great that GP has looked, but without a hearing test it’s just a physical exam. You won’t know whether her hearing is ok unless you see a paed audiologist I’m afraid

Ds freaks out at loud noises. He has ludicrously sensitive hearing. He was tested (long story) and they said his results were unusually good. He has ear defenders for when he needs them.