Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Children's health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

How to support friend

5 replies

Myotherface · 06/01/2021 20:10

My best friend has just given birth. Trying not to give too many details to avoid any chance of anyone recognising her. But the baby is basically not okay at all. Whether the baby will live is not certain yet. She is obviously in pieces and just focusing on moment to moment survival.

We are very close. We send multiple messages to each other every day and tell each other pretty much everything. I've followed every step of this pregnancy and was so excited for her. And now this. I feel so helpless. I'm basically just sending her messages to say she doesn't need to feel any pressure at replying. That I'm only sending messages so that she knows I'm here for her and thinking of her. I join her joy in the little moments near the baby. Talk about any practical concerns she has. I've been trying to say little hope inducing things but don't want to being toxic positivity into a situation that's pretty bleak. I'm off work with depression myself and this means I'm constantly feeling tearful. I just wish I knew how best to support her and what to say. Anyone been through difficult times like this with their children and have any advice on what they found helpful. Her life has turned upside down and I'm so worried about her. Just feel so powerless.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
iusedtohavechickens · 06/01/2021 20:27

Well I can see she clearly has a dear friend who clearly cares about her!

I preferred it when people didn't tip toe, ask how baby is today, if it's good news praise her with things like she's a fighter like her mummy. Just try and be normal, it's horrible thinking people are too scared to ask about your baby, you want to rejoice in the life you have created even if the beginning isn't what you expected.

Big hugs to you both I know how hard it is on both sides, continue to be a lovely friend and she will have a great support whatever the outcome ❤️

Sirzy · 07/01/2021 07:40

From what you have said you are doing everything right be being there but not expecting anything.

Make sure you talk to someone too if you have a partner share your worries.

0hMy · 07/01/2021 07:44

You sound lovely. I definitely agree with PP - you’re doing the right thing by making it clear that you’re there for her with no expectation of a reply to your messages. Flowers

paradyning · 08/01/2021 18:23

Can your friend get children's hospice support?

Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 08/01/2021 18:31

Has she named her baby? Use the name when you ask about it.. Make it clear you acknowledge it is a greatly loved little person already...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread