Never seen healthy visitor worrying ds isn't meeting milestones

[Burrit]

My ds is 7 nearly 8 months old, due to current circumstances with covid we have never seen a health visitor, she rang me a couple of times the first few weeks as he was premature but haven't heard anything from her since, I text her a few weeks ago for some advice on what to use on my sons eczema she just gave me a number to ring about it, anyway the point of this is I am a first time mum and I am worrying my son isn't doing what he should be? He can't roll over yet and hates tummy time he cries and it makes him sick when we put him on his tummy, he is strong and can lift his head but just gets upset, he can sit up well with support and can sit for a few seconds without support, he has also starter pulling himself up to a standing position whilst holding our hands, we started weaning at 6 months and he has breakfast and tea but he normally has a few spoon fulls of porridge or rusk for breakfast, he spits a lot of it out and I give him various different meals for tea which he has about 6 or 7 spoonfuls of then starts crying, he had a pancake the other day which he chewed away nicely on but when I feed him anything with lumps he gags that much he is sick, the thing is I don't know if any of these are normal people keep telling me oh my child was crawling at that age, my child was eating 3 full meals at that age etc etc I'm worrying I'm doing something wrong and it's really starting to stress me out to the point I'm getting really upset about it, I feel like I'm questioning myself all the time weather I'm doing enough to support his development and it's awful, any advice please?

He sounds normal, not all babies roll, not all babies crawl. It's reassuring he is pulling to stand. Gagging is normal, could be prolonged if you have started on purées first and only just introduced finger foods, their gag reflex is much further forward than adults and helps prevent chocking while they learn to chew/swallow solids. My DS crawled at 6 months, a friends DS crawled at 12 months. Both walking now at 18m and developmentally very similar. HV don't routinely visit after the first 6 weeks until the 9-12 month assessment unless issues are highlighted at the start.

Doesn't sound like there's anything of concern there. If he's sitting then he's got the head control that they normally build through tummy time, so just drop the tummy time at this point if it's upsetting him. I've never done purées since not sure how much is normal for them to take, but gagging is so normal (lovely when they vomit all over their high chair tray and then just keep eating!).

Would just add as well that some development (I think physical stuff?) should be compared against corrected age, not actual age.

And regarding all the "well my baby was already doing such and such by that age", one of my babies crawled at 9 months, the other at 6 months 🤷‍♀️ my niece and nephew never crawled at all. All four are totally healthy and developing fine.

@addictedtotheflats I did try finger food intially as wanted to do blw but he wouldn't entertain them at all so have him some purées, if I stick with the lumpy food will it just take him a little bit to get used to it, worried he's not keeping any of it down thank you for your reply

@Spam88 thank you, I know all babies are different I just can't help worrying I'm doing something wrong

Its common for blw babies not the eat much (if anything) for a few months. Milk should still be their main source of nutrition, exploring and textures is just fine at 7/8 months. I know their iron supplies deplete after 6 months but this very gradual and if you ff even less reason to be concerned (although i did ebf) my ds had one "meal" only for the first few months, up to a consistent 3 meals 9/10 months and added 1 snack around 13/14 months. Milk feeds dropped about 9 months aswell. Id just keep offering finger foods (cut appropriately) and he will do the rest.

He sounds absolutely fine. My ds never rolled over (or at least didn't do it until he could use other methods of moving around- at which point it was a complete non- event!). And his eating sounds fine for that age. Also didn't walk until 21 months. He's no further behind physically now a few years later

I've just read up that some babies never roll or crawl, I feel less worried now, maybe he will be the sort who just goes straight to walking, thanks everyone

You mentioned he was premature. If he was born before 37 weeks then you need to measure milestones against corrected age, ie how long it is since his due date, rather than his date of birth.

@nocoolnamesleft yes he was born At 34 weeks so have been a little less worried in him taking a bit longer with things because of that but it still puts him a bit behind bless him

He sounds perfectly normal to me and you don't need a health visitor to tell you that. I honestly don't know what else you expect from a baby that age, they are all different.

Mine didn’t crawl. Didn’t roll over until 5m.

Then just shy of 8m pulled herself up and started cruising. Was walking a month later.

Little boy at nursery didn’t crawl or walk until 18m. Sat “reading” books and playing with toys- while mine was more advanced physically he was far ahead in speech and language.

@jessstan1 yes that's my point, I don't know what to expect from a baby his age, hence why I asked

So he's really nearly 6 and a half months? Can't say I'm worried, then.

I hope you are reassured now, Burrit.

@jessstan1 yes I do feel better, thank you

That's marvellous, Burrit. I bet you'll be back in a couple of months telling us your son is doing all sorts and you wish you could keep him on a lead :-).

It sounds as though you have a lovely little boy.

@jessstan1 Haha probably! He's wonderful, thank you x