How do I get an ADHD assessment?

[Fudgefeet]

How do I go about getting an assessment for my dd (13).
She was on the Sen register throughout primary for reading and spelling but it never lead to anything as she slipped into the medium range by exactly 2 words after a literary assessment and now at secondary they have not had normal schooling because of Covid so it seems another 2 years are going to pass before she gets the support she needs. Im 100% sure there is something not quite right.
She is a very beautiful girl, creative, sporty, makes friends easily, is kind but always manages to mess things up for herself. Currently shunned by her whole class and friends through something she said on SM. Really, really stupid and I’m so disappointed in her but I know it’s her impulsiveness and inability to listen and control her temper that’s got her in this situation. It’s not the first time either, she seems to irritate people often. Most of the girls at her swimming club ignore her too and she doesn’t know why. She seems behind in maturity. I’m so scared that this kind of thing is going to repeat itself over and over until it breaks her. She’s incredibly resilient and seems to be coping well but it can’t carry on.
The school have been good with this situation but I don’t know how to push for more support. Can I just go to the GP or do I need to pay for a private assessment?

Either GP or private. Have you a local Facebook group where you can ask if anyone has done similar to find out about waiting times? They are 18 months here but £2k for private assessments.

Speak to the SENCo at her school, raise your concerns and ask if they can make a referral to the necessary people

Go to GP. The SENCO at DS's primary kept giving reasons why he didn't need an assessment but it was so obvious there was an issue. He finally got a diagnosis (18 months on from GP referral) aged 15. It made such a huge difference to his self-esteem and also to how we approached things. Also important for extra support and extra time in exams etc.

Just reread your post and so much of it resonates with me - social shunning, immaturity etc. It's so hard to witness but things really did improve post-diagnosis and now DS is 19, at uni, has a huge group of friends and is so much happier in himself!

Get your school's SENCo or Pastoral team to complete an EHA - early help assessment, or ask to get a pfsa referral. I have been told, in our area, peads have stopped accepting referrals for ADHD assessments, I don't know why, but a lot of people are having to go private to get diagnoses. Good luck to you @Fudgefeet xx

*ADHD and ASD referrals

Thank you all for your advice. I’ve sent an email to the school Senco and hopefully can get something sorted soon.
I’m so emotionally drained from feeling like I have to patch over everything she does and worrying about her next big mistake although I don’t think she could top last weeks one. It’s exhausting!