DS has webbed/hidden penis - does he really need surgery? anyone have any experience

[msflibble]

I'll keep it as short as possible (insert knob gag here)

Since birth DS (3) had a very small willy which often disappeared to a nub when he was lying on his back. I asked the doc if all was normal and he said yes so I didn't worry. Dr said he has phimosis like most boys his age, and because he's a bit of a chubber the suprapubic fat pad tends to hide a bit of his penis.

Fast forward to about a year ago and I decided to get it checked out by a urologist after I was told to do so by another doctor who said his phimosis was very pronounced and should be looked at.

We got an appointment finally in early summer and the urologist immediately said he needed surgery. She says he has penoscrotal webbing which will make his penis look small and might affect growth/self-esteem etc. The procedure will involve cutting off his foreskin and using it to extend the shaft of the penis and remove the webbing between the base of his penis and his scrotum.

Has anybody had their son go through this? Or has anyone had a son with a webbed penis who didn't have surgery and turned out fine? I'm worried sick about the op. I don't want to take away his foreskin knowing it will cause him pain and subject the head of his penis to uncomfortable sensitivity. There is just so little info on what happens if we don't intervene... I am worried sick about my little boy and putting him through this surgery in case it goes wrong or in case he feels violated and harmed by it.

Desperately hoping there is someone on here who can help.

I don’t have any advice but we’re going through the same thing. We were told for a long time it was normal but he finally saw a paediatrician who has referred to urology. I hope someone comes along who has been through it.

Yes me too. The doctor was kind and said she is absolutely not pro-circumcision usually, but in this case she said it was necessary. However I just can't shake this terrified feeling that I'm going to hurt my child without good reason. If you press the fat pad his willy pops out and doesn't then look small at all. I can't help wondering if time and weight loss will help it. I really really don't want to operate when it's cosmetic, non-urgent, and he's unable to consent.

Sending to you Milbo, what a stressful thing this is for us to go through!

bump

No experience, although DS2's was very small, so could have been similar. As a young adult he assures me everything works as it should.

That said, I'd go for the operation. The info on circumcision isn't as one sided as is often shown, and if there are medical reasons then it should be done. I can't point you to the research, but it wasn't as categorical as is usually made out in the UK.

You could ask for a second opinion, but I would do what the Dr recommends. I know one child who needed to be circumcised at 4 - I didn’t ask the details, but it was necessary and despite him getting an infection during his recovery, his mum said it had to be done so she was a pleased as she could be. I’ve also had a circumcised ex who had no problems in the bedroom! If it needs to be done, it needs to be done.

It's not just circumcision though. They will need to excise his foreskin and reattach it at the base of the penis where it meets the scrotum. The surgery is more extensive than just a circumcision meaning that more could go wrong. She also said it's possible that the appearance might end up looking strange, with loose skin around the glans.

I was sort of resigned to it for a while but now it's getting closer I am looking at my gorgeous funny cheerful little boy and wondering... does he really need to be cut up and stitched for mainly cosmetic purposes? What if it goes wrong? What if later on when he's grown he resents us for doing it? He doesn't have any infections, pain or trouble peeing. There is no urgent medical need for surgery.

I think DH had the same thing and his penis turned out basically ok. It is slightly webbed with some curvature down but I'd never noticed either until we started discussing it. He says he did feel self-conscious about it looking a bit shorter than other boys' at school and in communal showers and it affected his confidence slightly but he was always popular with girls anyway and never had any problems having sex.

Couldn't we just leave it and let him tell us when he's a teen whether he wants it fixed or not?

I think a second opinion would be helpful- with photos of what the end result would look like with and without intervention.

My other son has a slight hypospadius and only half a foreskin. We were told he could have it tidied up, but there was no need it would just be a bit 'interesting'.

It would be a much bigger operation when he was older.
My son was circumcised at 10 for medical reasons and I really wish they’d done it younger, his recovery was awful.

There is a video here that I'm too squeamish to watch.

Whoops.

drbrianchristine.com/genital-aesthetics/scrotal-webbing/

@picklemewalnuts ha! I watched a very intense video today that was not for the faint hearted. Something called ventral phalloplasty. It's a fix for webbing that can apparently only be done on adults. I nearly fainted.

@Estrellente I'm sorry your poor DS went through that.
However if we leave it until he is older, he won't actually need the circumcision to fix it. He will have enough skin on his penis shaft already for them to just cut away the webbing. I guess that would also be pretty rough. But at least it'd be up to him. I really have no idea what to do at this point. I'm tortured by what ifs.

oh god pickle, that's the one! I watched it through my fingers

I would get a second opinion. If surgery is necessary, the sooner he has it, the better.

Ever wish you hadn't clicked on a link not envy.

My partner has a hidden penis, his appears to be just a weight thing for the most part. But he also has a bend. Things work absolutely fine (it's just getting to it which proves an issue at the moment, he has bad fupa).

If there's a chance his could be sorted out at a later age then that sounds positive but the phymosis needs sorting, that's another thing my partner has and he can't get it clean. Since it's become this bad, we've not had physical relations, the smell puts me off.

Good luck with whatever you choose. It's horrid, some of the things boys have happen to their privates.

Is there any way you can pay for a second opinion privately to speed the process up? I agree with the pp that if the operation is necessary sooner is better. I understand the way you are feeling though - the thought of dc having any operation is horrible.

If it's not medically an issue, isn't it more ethical to wait until he can give informed consent in his teens?

@msflibble hey OP, not sure if this will be of help, but from where I am from, the phlemosis issue is very often fixed by the following.

Buy Mallow Sylvestris (dried flower extract), in pharmacy, on amazon, or wherever you can. Put about 500g in cold (not hot) water for 12 hours. Then add this water to your boy's evening bath. Do this for 2 weeks (about 2-3x a week).

The same with a cream, mallow sylvestris cream, you put it on the tip of the penis and gently (after the bath) try to pull back. Not to be painful, just keep trying. Should give in. Works for adults too.

PS: I am absolutely not in agreement with any snake oil homeopathy crap, and I'd get a second opinion and if doctors say cut, then cut. But the above is something to try, and nothing to lose.

Thanks ZooKeeper! I forgot to mention that we're using a topical steroid cream on his phimosis to prepare for the op, it has helped but I am a bit worried about using something so strong for more than a few weeks, so this is a bit of a godsend! I will switch to it after we finish with the steroid cream. Much appreciated!

Get a second opinion. DS has a related condition (Megaprepuce) with phimosis. When he was 4, Paediatric urologist said there wasn’t benefit from operating early as no urine infections or balanitis (infection of shaft/tip of penis). DS is 6 currently. Phimosis is tight but is responding to steroid cream. We do keep a close eye out for infections and I do worry if all this focus on the area (with the creams etc) is affecting him, But I think on balance waiting is the right course for him at the moment (paediatric urology said He could get referred back if the situation changes).