11 year old first period

[innitsmashing]

My very petite 11 year old started her first period last week. My heart breaks for her as she's so tiny, and we're on day 7 now and she looks completely washed out.

In fairness to her, she has carried on going to school. She has taken part in her zoom acting, dancing and gymnastics classes (despite me wanting her to rest), but she is still having large clots. I was 15 when I stated mine, and don't recall it going on longer than a week.

Furthermore, she's heartbroken at how her periods will now impact her activities. She dances in leotards, same for gymnastics. I feel she is too young for tampons, but what's the alternatives?

Thanks for reading.

11 is average nowadays! In fact, 15 was very old when I started just before turning 12 in the early 90's, so maybe you were a little later OP! Its good she is continuing on with zoom etc- life goes on! What would getting her to 'rest' prove or do??? If she is tired, then fine, but to make out that just because she has a period means she 'needs' to rest is frankly odd.

If you are concerned about anaemia or Vit D deficiency, get her checked. I don't know of any options other than tampons for gymnastics etc, sorry. Your little girl is growing up!

Jam Sponge is pretty good but is still an internal type of sanpro.

At that age you probably are just looking at pads, washable pads or period panties.

I wasn't long 13 when mine came and it was christmas and it was just so heavy. My eldest is nearly 13 and despite having talked about it and me providing her with various sanpro products, it feels like she won't be ready for a long time.

Try get a little bit extra iron in her diet, mine last over a week and it helps with the fatigue! Wee soul.

DD was 10.

We use period pants for sporty days and they're perfect.

Thank you @Elouera but I'm not being odd, I'm just concerned about how washed out she looks. I know we have to get on with it, but she's still only very young in my opinion. I agree 15 is late, but at least I was matured and had time to process that this was part of growing up. Although we have had lots of talks about puberty, periods etc, I didn't expect it to come at only just turned 11.

Is it usual for first periods to go on longer than a week? The nhs website says the first one is usually only a couple of days, but that's certainly not the case here. She was very upset and fed up earlier, so I'm hoping for some light at the end of the tunnel.

As for tampons, any recommendations as to which ones? If she is to continue with her dancing, she will need to use them sooner rather than later, as a period is not going to be a good excuse for missing classes.

The first few could be erratic I guess. But if it continue to remain this long then it's worth speaking to your GP. Pomegranate is a great source of iron so keep it handy during period times. My DD started at 13 even though I started at 15. Looks like 15 is impossible with the new generation. Hope your DD settles down & gets lighter.

I started at 11 and used to have, in fact still have, very heavy periods. I remember sometimes at that age waking up in pools of blood. I guess the towels we had were not completely leak proof. No idea what to use these says but sympathies with your dd. I don’t remember being too miserable about starting as it was all quite new but now I look back and think gosh I’ve been having periods for almost 35 years it’s bloody exhausting. I actually did go on the pill age 14 which made it a bit better but they you’re on the pill and that can come with another set of side effects.

I was just over 12 when I started around the time of the millennium. Out of my friends it was probs about 50/50 as to who had started and those who hadn't had their first one within a few months after me. I thought that was normal - y7/early y8.

I was also a very serious competitive swimmer who trained every day so I still went swimming the day after starting my period. I used tampons (non applicator ones) from the offset, like all of the other girls in my club. Surely she's got friends at her gymnastics club who are in a similar position? I remember talking very openly to my swimmer friends about periods, we'd tell eachother if a tampon string was poking out of our swim suit etc so she might know more than you think.

In the nicest way possible, I also agree with @Elouera wrt perhaps changing your approach to her "new" womanhood, as it's completely normal and she should continue her activities as normal unless she is actually ill or tired, which isn't usually the case with just a period.

The only time I didn't have 10day periods was when I took the pill. I started at 11.. it's totally normal- most of my friends already had.

Also- why is there an age limit on tampons OP?

@brainstories568 due to all activities being home based at the moment, she hasn't asked any of her friends about how they manage. Although back at school, she is the first out of her peers to start, so no help their either. School were a nightmare too. Due to covid, kids are not allowed to bring in anything from home like a bag. So she put them in her cardigan pocket and was then challenged about what she had brought in - in front of her bubble which contained boys. So she was very upset and I had to arrange with school for her to be allowed a small tin to carry her sanitary towels discreetly.

I know from talking to some of the dance mums that their daughters haven't yet started, so no advice from them either. So I think she's feeling like the odd one out, even though I've tried to reassure her that all of her friends will be in the same position shortly,

Just seen your later post asking for tampon advice... I'd probs get her to try the lightest ones in the first instance (they're usually blue) either Tampax or Lillets. Some own brands have the light ones but others just start with regular. I found the applicator ones really confusing (and still do, I have to take the applicator bit off..) so she might prefer the non applicator ones.

@PurpleFrames no age limit, I just thought she was perhaps to young - which I'm obviously wrong about. I hadn't thought of the non applicator ones.

I used tampons from my first period and so did DD at 12. I think she started with tampax but quickly moved to generic. Try an assortment and see how she gets on.

Won't her school provide towels if they don't allow school bags? They would have been more than happy to discuss this with you. I called my school about this and they are providing a selection in the toilets for girls to help themselves to discreetly. It is so much harder to deal with in primary school than secondary

@worriedandannoyed once I spoke to school they were fine, but I didn't tell them that morning that she would be bringing something in her pockets. They're operating on a smaller number of toilets too, so their particular toilets didn't have a sanitary bin available so that also caused a bit of a problem but now all sorted.

Thank you for everyone's tips. I'm hoping it won't go on much longer and then we will have to monitor how long they last going forward.

I think the op is getting a bit of stick here. 11 is not very old to be contending with periods regardless of whether it's an average age or not. Also petite girls do usually start later as I believe weight is a factor. I've read that 7.5 stone is usually the approx weight reached when girls tend to start. I was very petite and didnt start until I was 14.
It's nice that you're concerned OP. She could be a bit anaemic? Call and speak to a nurse or try some supplements? I think my first one was pretty long but then I didnt have another for a few months.
Hope she's feeling better soon.

@IdblowJonSnow thank you. She is very petite, still in age 9-10 clothing and was under paediatrics as a child as she didn't thrive as expected. Even now they don't expect her to be any taller than 5ft 2. I dont actually know how much she weighs, so I will do that tomorrow.

I would look at period pants for her, I started my period at 10 and I know I was scared to use tampons for quite a few years. Obviously if your daughter is comfortable with them it's worth a try as it may be more convenient

@ElephantLover pomegranat??? Are you having a laugh. It’s just sugar and some fibre.

Please OP feed your child beef for it’s heme iron. She needs the recovery.

Aw bless her. I was also 11 when I started mine and remember how tough it is. I would encourage her to try and keep her normal routines as much as possible. I agree she is far too young for tampons so perhaps a wee skirt or shortd to wear over her leotard. I was also very anemic as a teenager (may not be related but it became apparent when I was 13) so I agree some iron supplements might be a good idea.

I see others have recommended non-applicator tampons, but I preferred and still prefer the applicator type! At that age, she may not be comfortable inserting a finger inside, all the way, so applicator types are far better IMO. A dab of lubricant can also help it slide in and cause less pain if things are a little dry. I'd start with a smaller, thinner one, then build up in size as needed.

She’s definitely not too young for tampons and may find them more comfortable. Keep an eye on her periods - heavy clotty periods might be a sign of pcos or endo both of which can show up from the first period.