Spot picking

[LocalDuck]

Hi

My 11-year-old dd has terrible pus-filled spots all over her face. She is currently going through puberty and initially we thought it was early acne however she will not stop picking at them and making them so much worse. I tried bribing her to stop with the promise of a handbag, and it worked for two weeks. Her skin looked so much better...still pimply on her forehead but nothing you could see unless up close. I gave her the handbag...and then the picking started again. Her face is currently a mess. Huge red and pus-filled spots. She picks them until they bleed.

We visited her GP before lockdown and she immediately suggested meds but then said she was too young and just advised her to wash with a cleanser. I don't think it's acne or anything that meds will cure. I think she enjoys picking and just won't stop.

Any advice?

I was this kid. Take a look at some gentle face masks and skin treatments to help. I love the ordinary now for my skin as it clears spots up so quickly so I don't get a chance to attack them the next day.
I use a combo of salicic acid and lactic acid.

I've also found my calm in pimple popping videos. On Instagram I can watch these for hours and I get the same satisfaction.

Make a skin care routine exciting and try different things. But only when she's been good at not picking.

I used to still do pick at anything on my face as an anxiety response. Might be worth checking in about her mental health as well as her skincare.

I was and mostly still am an avid skin picker. I started doing it when I was 2-3yrs old.

I think one of the most important things you can do is realise that it is a compulsion. She will often have done significant damage before she even realises she’s picking again. The idea that you can bargain with her to stop doing it is a non-starter. She may consciously have every intention of trying to do it, but her skin picking activity is mostly unconscious 🤷‍♀️

I would describe it as my fingers find edges and imperfections by themselves and “tidy” them usually before I feel any pain or notice that it’s happening. Very often if it’s big or visible once I realise I usually feel deep regret and still finish tidying up the edges.

I know I’m making some big assumptions about how and why she is doing it, but I think it’s possible to make those assumptions because no one picks spots on their face that will leave big marks or scars because they really want to and she probably is actually bothered by how it looks.

Thank you for your replies. Yes I do think it is a compulsion and I do also think it's anxiety related. She generally has severe anxiety and tics (throat clearing, eye rolling, snorting) and has many phobias. Since the spot picking started her tics have massively reduced. I don't know what to do about it though. We have discussed it many times and she has always denied picking. I see her doing it all the time. I say "Please don't pick." and she says "I wasn"t" with 3 newly bleeding obviously picked spots.

Ah ok, it’s part of a bigger picture ❤️

For me the only workaround that has ever been effective is to swap the skin picking for slightly less destructive/ less visible versions.

As I’m holding my phone with one hand reading, the other will either be running through my hair looking for something to do on my scalp. The movement is constant and it takes a huge conscious effort to stop even for a minute (a lot like tics!)

The other things I do are skin pick around my fingers, lip pick (I try to keep them well moisturised so there aren’t any attractive edges lol) or chewing the inside of my cheek. I don’t believe the compulsion can be cured merely channeled into something less harmful.

I have tried external fidget things like blutack, playdoh or magnets but I have to admit they don’t work because I believe there is a stimulus feedback loop that has to be touch activated for me to feel soothed unfortunately x

Thank you for sharing you personal insight. My dd is also a picker of skin around her nails, and scalp picker. I'll redirecting her to a fidget cube or something like that but as you say, they don't give the same kind of feedback.