Just this week about 5 days ago my oldest of 4 kids who is 10 and will be 11 in November has randomly started this thing where she cry:s at bedtime saying she feels "bad" guilt crying and then says her stomach starts to hurt (from what I assume is the upset)
I know this isnt a medical site but maybe you moms have had a similar issue?
Please read all if you will...
more Details on this problem:
I am leaning towards emotional but not sure what it is.
However to rule out anything I know physical wise there is no change in eating habits or heartburn complaints. She said she poops regular and has isn't constipated and has already had her appendix removed a year or so ago and this only happens at bed, not at night, just literal bedtime. I can change bedtime from 8pm to 10pm to any time and it will only be when she is told to go to sleep regardless of the actual time.
*Emotion... here is what I find odd. She has ZERO problems all day and doesn't seem to show sadness or guilt at all. In fact I wanted to make a list of the things she feels guilty about and discuss them with her but she acted like I inconvenienced her day by wanting to sit and talk and said she told me it all BUT then at bed she comes over and suddenly has "new" things to list. I asked her why not tell me earlier and she got mad and said "YOU waited to late in the day to talk" but during the talk at the time she said I was asking to early and was mad she was losing time to play on her Tablet.
In general she always say's we don't listen to her and I am not sure why because we sit and do listen all the time but the moment we put any input she says we are not , despite me quoting her and empathizing to show I am not just listening but also trying to understand.
I did get her to write and all though the next day. The stuff she is complains of being bad isn't even a big deal (I did not say it like that though)
Also its the fact that it isn't a big deal as to the way she is acting which is confusing?
I ask her whats up and her guilt's are things like this
*"I once liked a boy but he picked his nose and then I didn't like him like that anymore but he didn't know."
*I told you lies about insert small no big deals kids do
*She will go "I just remembered I needed to tell you I once accidentally wrote your name on my school paper because your signature got smeared off."
Or * :Remember that time I said i wasn't the one who forgot to flush the toilet 2 years ago? It was really me sorry I lied." Followed by big hug and tears?
- She saw a girls marker back in school time drying out and went to fix it and "accidentally" brought it home. (I doubt it was a accident)
I am so confused because at night she cry's so bad and says her stomach hurts so bad after shes been crying and she continues this for hours until she just goes to sleep.
her tears and pains don;t really match the tiny guilt she is claiming are huge bad things.
We had talks. I explained to her shes not a bad person, I told her the difference between bad people and people who make mistake or happen to do bad stuff. Nobody but her grandma, father and I watch her and we are both SAHP as I had her alone to addressed any issues in case it could be molestation but she says no and she even goes and cry's to her dad about the same things she does to me and even asks him whats she suppose to do me when I am busy so I am sure that's not it. She asks us both to help her and say's she don't know why she is like this?
She keeps begging me to help and say's she don't know why it's only at bed or why she keeps thinking of all the bad she has done. If I wasn't her mom I would think the kid had very critical parents or something! I am not one to get mad and those things really I lean more towards the opposite.
I always tell them things like "we can't change the past but we can work to make the future better." and "We all do things at times like that but the fact you show emotion and care proves you are not a bad person as a bad person would do it for fun and not care." In general I do random talks like that or pull up positive quotes and such.
Its weird cause it so sudden and NOT like her at all the only changes are that school is close cause the virus and she can't go out really. The other is were moving in a few months or sooner which she has actually been looking forward too very badly because this house is too small and she really don't have friends so she isn't upset about leaving anyone behind.
I'm so lost because I always believe in believing the child but I feel she is hiding something else or a bigger thing she did "bad" that she is too afraid to tell the real thing bothering her.
i asked if it was insomnia and she said no that its not that alone it is because of these thoughts giving her strong emotions mental and physical.
it goes past 2 am sometimes and she is still up and it all started this week and I can't think of anything new to have triggered it.
I am starting to think next she may wan't her dad to walk her to bed like when she was a baby!
Her Doctor don't really want kids who aren't sick coming in but if I can't figure it out I got to take her because its very disrupting to her sisters and brother us and especially herself as I jump to worry of depression and what that can lead to....
If in the end I find its a lie because she just doesn't want to or can't sleep I will be torn on future issues :( As in the FAR FAR past she said stuff and acted up just to find out in the end she just couldn't sleep and was frustrated and acting up that's why I asked her about insomnia.
idk if this came out how I wanted it or anything its 2 am here and I have a headache. Sorry it's long and thanks for any advice or ideas!