Teen with depression and suicidal thoughts

[TheletterZ]

My daughter is suffering from very low mood and suicidal thought at the moment. Her school have been fantastic, straight into see the school councillor and doctors appointments. She is seeing a specialist on Monday (we are paying as there is such a long wait for CAMHs). School have also said they want her to stay off school, while so low as they can't grantee they can keep her safe in school.

There has been no obvious triggers - she likes school and is doing very well (maybe too well and we have spoken before that she doesn't need perfect score etc...) Some really good friends and then a circle of secondary friends, there haven't been any falling outs that I (or school) know about.

Everything seemed fine until about 3 weeks ago and it very rapidly spiraled downwards.

I am having to take time off work, which is another thing to juggle and arrange, especially as I have no idea how long I might need to take off. I think I will have to take parental leave, but I've never done that before and don't even know how it all works.

So this thread is partially just a hand hold but also if anyone has been in a similar situation and how long it might take (I know - how long is a piece of string!)

I have no experience of this but I really didn’t want to read and run.
How old is your daughter? Does she have a diary? If she does, read it. There could be something in there that helps highlight something. If she doesn’t, get her one with a lock and key. But 2 the same (so you have a key) Encourage her to write things down everyday. Obviously it’s better if you read something, to try and encourage your dd to tell you as opposed to you saying you read her diary.
I always encouraged my dd to keep a diary and she did. I always assured her I would never read it unless I felt she was at risk.
My friends dd had a similar difficult time. Approaching her GCSE’s her dd declines really fast. She’s never got to the bottom of it. It was implied her dd felt confused about her sexuality but this never got explored. It can be really tough growing up nowadays.
Are you able to check your dd inline media if she accesses it at all?
If she is being bullied, she could feel ashamed, embarrassed, isolated.
I’m sure you’ve thought of all these things yourself. I just thought when in the middle of it all, it can be hard to see the wood for the trees.

Bump for you.

Thanks.

Friendships at school all seem good, teachers agree, she has told me of frustrations eg one friend always steels the limelight etc... you never know but I don’t think there is anything there.

On the sexuality side, we have always been very open. Her aunt is a lesbian, her grandad has just come out as non-binary pansexual so she knows no-one in the family will bat an eyelid. But again who know what goes on in someone else’s head.

GCSEs she is over achieving, wants to get 8&9s. She put a lot of pressure on herself, we made her reduce her revision timetable before her mocks.

One aspect we are considering if sometimes she is doing incredibly well, very ambitious, doing a lot, big plans etc.... then a crash. So we are going to ask about bipolar and see if there is anything in that.

I’ve been in touch with the school and they want to wait before she comes back so we will probably have another week at home. Bit os breathing space and TLC.

Sorry that ended up a lot longer than expected.

I hope you can find some positive direction with her soon. It must be so worrying, frustrating and frightening too for all concerned.