10 year old struggling with sleep and fatigue - any tips welcome

[purplepandas]

Hello,

My ten year old is really struggling to get to sleep. It's having a huge impact on her, she can't concentrate in class, looks hugely tried always and is snappy. It was well gone midnight before she was asleep last night. She's not reading, on screens or doing anything whilst trying to rest.

I think it's a mix of being stressed at school, friendships and other worries but I can only do so much about those.

Any tips welcome as I am at my wits end. I wonder if she is also anaemic and am giving her an iron supplement but this won't help with helping her to be able to relax and go to sleep.

We have tried relaxation music/meditation type music etc. That does not seem to help.

Thanks
PP

can you describe her night routine? it might be worth (if you don't already) have a structured one, so:
-home from school, do homework with small snack
-chill out/play time
-dinner
-bath (it calms my younger dc to pour water over their head even if i'm not going to wash their hair)
-dry hair, brush it whilst reading story,
-bed with music playing (you can get a cd player very cheaply) at 7:30/8:00

There are also kids yoga ' cosmic kids' as well as some podcast which are guided sleep meditations which might help.
Other things to consider are the bedroom- temperature, lighting - does it feel a safe space?

Poor her and you. It's horrible as sleep affects everything.

It sounds obvious so forgive me for saying it, but us she getting lots of fresh air and exercise?
Taking my dc on a longish post school dog walk is a huge help if they're struggling to sleep.

Otherwise, is the room dark enough, good evening routine is good and another huge one for my dc is giving them a massage in their beds.

Also, no phone/ ipad type screens 2 hours before bed. I think telly/film is ok as it doesn't have the stimulating type of light.

Masses of exercise really helps. My DS (nearly 10) has been a bad sleeper from birth. For a while, he was swimming with a club and in the pool 6.30- 8pm 4 nights a week. He was out like a light on those nights and slept better every night.

He's now switched into a sport with different demands and definitely doesn't sleep as well, but still much better after a training day (outdoors all day).

If she isn't already doing a sport with regular training, I'd get her into one as it will help with the stress and friendship issues too.

I was this sort of child and story tapes helped massively - I couldn't switch my brain off so having some comforting, reasonably boring/childish stories on tape really helped me drift off. I recommended to a friend recently and she got her son (similar issues) some story CDs and it really helped him to wind down without lying there thinking 'I can't sleep'

Also if it gets really bad I have a friend whose child is on melatonin(? I think that's what it is) to help sleep issues

Some children are stimulated by baths so if they have them too close to bedtime they can't get to sleep for a while.

I tried lavender in the bath and as a pillow mist (Avon). I think this slightly helped.

Declutter the bedrooms, use blackout curtains. (Then buy a night light as it's too dark).

Swimming or joining an activity group.

Don't have bedrooms too warm, air bedrooms in morning.

Changing their diet.

I tried all these. My child has always been a poor sleeper and it got terrible when the bullying was bad or before exciting events (Christmas/holidays/school plays etc).

After she's gone to bed I can't do anything to disturb her so no music, tv, phone calls etc.

I eventually made her bedtime much later but if it's too late then she also won't settle. That seemed to work for a while.

Forgot the ear plugs (didn't work) and sleep mask (did seem to help for a while).

We were recommended to make sure she was out in daylight and got plenty of fresh air to enhance her natural melatonin levels .

No bright overhead lights for a few hours before bedtime - we changed the light bulbs to use lower light levels and also used table lamps instead of the main lighting.

We changed the bed and bedding. She slept better in a larger bed.

We tried a weighted blanket - this worked for a while.

There are filters you can get for computers and tablets. They are blue green filters and reduce the light wavelengths that are associated with the day. It means they can read on tablets at bedtime without being stimulated.

TV is okay as long as not sitting too close to the screen.

Have you tried magnesium? If she's not getting enough through her diet (she may be veggie for instance) or if she has problems with gut absorbtion, then it may be worth supplementing her with magnesium tablets if she can swallow them. Also worth a good probiotic so she's getting what she needs from her food. I was a hopeless sleeper as a child and worse as an adult, and magnesium has been a game changer for me. I'm caveating this with the point that I have no idea if it's safe to give children magnesium so check with a pharmacist!

I just wanted to say a huge but belated thank you for all the posts. I am really grateful. Lots of food for thought and I am looking into all the suggestions I promise. Yes, screen free at bedtime already so that's good. I will dig out the meditation we used to have as I bet I can find that on spotify/Amazon music as we have both. That's a good point. Will look into magnesium, sport (she rides) and also a weighted blanket.

The collective kindness and wisdom of MN is much appreciated

Also meant to say we have been trying stories but the midnight episode involved an audio book. I think it is lots of stupid school stress, bloody hate the pressure.

Cherry juice is meant to be useful for sleep. My son used to move to the bottom of his bed if he couldn't get to sleep and this seemed to work for some reason.