Health Visitor and Additional Visits

[Erin2501]

Hi,

First time poster, long time reader here.

Our LO is 3 weeks old and we are having what I consider to be more than normal visits from health professionals.

Baby is happy and healthy, home life is happy and healthy and we are blessed to have a great support network around us.

Today we have received a call from the HV saying they are going to book an additional appointment with us, when we asked why we got "well X thinks that you could do with some additional support" when we asked what this was, they said to weigh the baby and check on mummy.

Are we over reacting, we don't want or need any additional support and the visits do nothing but increase anxiety levels. We feel like these people are well intended, yet they walk into a nice home that is clean and baby is well looked after and they seem to want to find something wrong.

Any help/thoughts here is appreciated.

Say no thanks or opt out. HV input is not mandatory.

HV are not there to judge you or catch you out. They are there to help and support u

My HV has been a real support to me. My baby was born small and we have had some bumps in the road with her and so yes it is obvious why she is here more than she is for others.

Was your baby born mid centiles? Has the baby been tracking the curve on the growth chart? Has baby been feeding well. These are the obvious things that would be the reason they want to weigh baby extra

Just be open with her and ask further why you are having additional visit. But don't put up walls, you don't need to.

Who is X that thinks you need more support? GP? Consultant? MIL?

Who X is depends on whether it could be helpful or not?

Was it a normal delivery?

Finally congratulations on your baby 🌺

I had extra visits from both midwife and hv and was grateful for the extra support

You can simply say what you said above: “baby and I are happy and healthy and we have a great support network. I feel additional visits are likely to just increase our anxiety levels so I’d prefer not to see you until the routine check at X months. If we do start to feel we need extra support then I know how to get in touch. Thanks”

However, I’ve been having extra HV visits because my MH took a nose dive after my baby was born and they’ve been really helpful. So do be honest with yourself about whether or not you do need any extra support and don’t decline just because you feel they’re “checking up” because that’s really not what they’re about.

I had extra visits and support as my mental health was in a really bad place, even though I didn't realise it at the time.

This time round we are having more support due to baby being in scbu after birth.

Thanks for the quick replies.

I'll try and create a post that covers all question, so apologise if this comes across a little less personal.

X is the Health Visitor, however she has sent out someone else to weigh the baby last week (all good, good weight gain etc, tracking fine on the chart etc). This other person is now visiting us next week as X has said we need a little support, but wouldn't explain any further what that support was or why. Didn't ask if we were getting any support we needed elsewhere etc.

I would say generally they are "helpful" but we really are ok, baby is feeding fine, nappies are fine, sleeping fine.

We did have a normal delivery.

What did extra support look like for you all? perhaps we are missing the meaning of "support"

@StillNotANewUser We would really love to say this, we've even had the conversation about this. However the anxiety it causes both of us with fear of being referred because we declined the HV is what is stopping us.

I know that's probably an irrational fear, just something we have read a lot about online

For me the extra support was hv checking in for a chat if I needed it. I was really fortunate to be offered baby massage classes to help me bond with my ds and I was put through to the home start team (although didn't end up using that service).

I've just had my second, and the HV visited a lot more for my first - so either they were more concerned about her weight than they let on, the service has just been cut since then, or they visit more for first time mums - who knows!

They're really not trying to catch you out though, perhaps they'd just like to keep an eye on baby's weight (was he back up to his birth weight by two weeks?), make sure breastfeeding is still going well so they can refer you if needed or just to check on your well-being. You can of course refuse the visit but I really don't think there's any need.

And just to add, between midwives and HVs I had someone out pretty much every day for the first few weeks! Really don't think I'd have stuck with breastfeeding without all that extra support and I think it's such a shame when other women don't get that level of support.

Nothing happens when you decline the HV service. We had them with our first, and they were completely useless. So with our second we just said ‘no thanks’. They said they would be in touch for his 2 year check, and that was that!

Our HV visits were very brief because we didn't really have any need for them. We were both happy, I didn't feel I needed their input. So they just weighed her, filled in red book and that was about it. I wouldn't have liked extra visits because I just like being left to get on with things. We had problems with breastfeeding but I paid for a lactation consultant and for the chiropractor out of my own pocket, and the advice HVs gave when I did ask was nothing more than I knew from my own research so wasn't much help for our situation.

But I think if you have a problem and have a good HV, they are worth their weight in gold. My friend had problems with her DC having allergies and her HV was so persistent in getting them referred to the allergy clinic and hounding clinic for an appointment.

@Erin2501 I promise you this fear is irrational. Even in my position where they know I do actually need extra support, I’m able to say that in fact I’d prefer they didn’t visit for a couple of weeks and there are no negative consequences. Honestly, just decline it (while making clear that you’ll continue to engage with the “normal” stuff such as the weigh-ins if you still intend to) and you’ll be left alone to enjoy your baby.

Yes, someone coming in every day would have given me anxiety where there wasn't any before! And been incredibly limiting - we were out and about from a few days post-delivery, I had a section so wanted to be mobile and keep walking, so someone coming in every day wouldn't have been helpful for us at all. But the point is that everyone's needs are different. For every antisocial harpy like me, there's someone who does need the support, so it must be hard for them finding that balance.

Thank you all for your different perspectives, it helps a lot.

The additional support is that she comes out, weighs baby, has a chat. Answers any question no matter how silly (or unnecessary!) it is. Then when we were trying to get her a vaccine that she was just under the eligibility threshold for (for RSV as she got sever Bronchiolitis and was in intensive care 4 days at 8 weeks) she fought tooth and nail and rang all sorts to get it approved. And she succeeded! Worth her weight in gold that woman!

My HV came every day for two weeks after discharge from MW for first dc. It was literally for 5-10 min but it helped break up the day once dh had gone back to work. Dc was prem and so weighing was important.

Tbh I’d accept the offer this once and see what happens. It won’t hurt If you say to her when she comes was there something specific she was looking at.

If it’s your first baby they may just do this as standard anyway and not to heighten your anxiety more but if you decline, it will most likely be logged that they wanted to attend and you declined.

I know they get a lot of criticism but sometimes they can be really good . I had a fabulous public health nurse (I'm in Ireland so our equivalent to the health visitor) on my first baby. The baby was premature and I had had pre eclampsia so while I recovered really well I think she was keeping a discreet eye on me rather than the baby. She'd often ring to say she was in the area with a neighbour so while she was so close was it okay if she popped into me. Looking back now I don't think she was ever visiting my neighbour and I'm very glad of her visits and reassurance. On reflection I think she was responsible for how well I recovered emotionally after the birth if that makes sense