Please help, 6 year old having daily toilet accidents

[HarrysMummy17]

My 6 and a half year old son, is wetting and soiling himself daily. More than once.
He wakes up wet and sometimes dirty, he comes home from school wet and sometimes dirty.
He leaves going for a wee to the last minute and never seems to fully empty his bladder.
When his pants are dirty it's not a huge amount but can be up to 4 times a day.
He refuses to sit on the toilet. He said it's boring and he wants to play.
I've tried to explain it takes more time to clean him up every time than it would to just poo but it makes no difference.
I'm really starting to struggle with it. This morning we were both in tears at 8.30am because he hides he's done it. I can say over and over again, please go to the toilet. He refuses and then hides it when he's done it so this morning on our way out to school and I noticed I just broke down. I cried, he cried. I just don't know what to do with him.
He doesn't care he comes out if school wet.
I've spoken to his teacher and she said he doesn't have to ask to go to the toilet, he can just go when needed.
This has only been an issue recently. He's been toilet trained since 3 but this has been going on over the last 6 months.
I'm so worried about upcoming nativity plays and panto trips.
Any advice greatly appreciated

There was a recent thread in AIBU called "At the end of my tether with ds [toilet issues]" which gives lots of very useful info on this. Constipation/impaction related. It is dated 1st Nov, if you search on Mumsnet.
HTH.

Have a look on the ERIC website and get him to the gp - sounds to me like classic impaction, which can be treated with intensive laxative treatment (hence the need for the GP). Try to stay calm with him - if it is impaction then he has almost certainly got no sensation of needing to wee or poo and is unable to control either.

Yep sounds like impaction. Go to dr. Get movicol

Op I don't have much advice I'm afraid and I'm sure others have had some more experiences. I will share what do know though. Starting school was stressful for my dcs. The told me the bigger kids burst into the toilets and they developed a fear of using the toilets at school. To this day dd (9) still does not use school toilets. She just holds it in all day unless she's desperate. Another mum I know would go in at lunchtime to physically take her daughter to the toilet because of that fear. Little boys may not feel as willing to admit the fear maybe? Also DD was still bed wetting at 6. We just invested in very good undersheets that didn't have that 'plastic' feel and kept spare duvet ready covered in her bedroom. We got very good at whipping off one set and replacing with clean. What I do know is how worrying and stressful it is but despite that we made the most progress when we accepted the situation and didn't make a fuss and as she got older. Instead of 'please go to the toilet' and 'oh no you've done this again!' We changed to a very quick 'no worries, quick let's sort it' and moved on. We didn't give it any attention and treated it like maybe how you would when you drop something IYSWIM. Even now I cannot force them to 'just try' because whenever I do they rebel. I have to leave them to decide.

As for school I honestly think he will grow out of it as no kid wants his friends to know he's covered in poo and wee. I would seriously investigate the toilet situation as I think it's common to have a fear of school toilets. DC also hated hand dryers so wouldn't go in if she heard someone using it.

www.eric.org.uk/bowel-problems-faqs

This happened with my friend's son, impaction as other posters have said. Essentially there's a blockage and poo comes out around the sides but it's soft and he won't be able to feel it. So my friend's son was given movicol but they were told not to dilute it too much.
My own DS isn't brilliant and the same age but I've found a kids actimel after dinner then making him sit on the toilet before bed or first thing in the morning with a book, seems to work.
Also a full bowel pressed on the bladder and makes you wee more.
You can buy watches which have little, subtle alarms which you could set at say 90 minute intervals when he HAS to go to the toilet. Then rewards blah blah...
Go to your gp though and I would request being referred to a paediatrician to have a proper investigation. Good luck, it will be ok!

Thank you all. I keep telling him we'll need to see a doctor. I've put it off because I know he'll kick and scream and have a huge meltdown.
I'll phone them first thing in the morning.

impaction can mean child has little sensation that they need to go. Contrary to potty training you need to play up the idea that he is not responsible for this; it is something outside his control that you need help with, and he should not feel it is his fault. He will be feeling very ashamed but also unable to tell what to do with the impaction and constipation leading to overflow etc.
Diet can also be an aspect of constipation and impaction..Gp should give you help with this. Lots of fibre and water, less beige sugary foods.
Do read that thread, it is has so much info on it.

I've read the above mentioned thread and a lot of info on impaction. I've also joined the Facebook group mentioned.
I'm kicking myself that I didn't go to the gp sooner. I'll be devastated if he has to start missing school over the Christmas activities.