Help / Advice how to support cousin who’s baby stopped breathing and now potentially disabled

[Chasingrainbows80]

Hi
As above really. It’s been a week of hell for my cousin & her husbands little 1 year old boy. He stopped breathing and they had to resuscitate him & a week later they found fluid in his brain and have been told from neurology that he will have some form of disability.
He was a normal little happy boy and got poorly due to a virus in his lungs. Several trips to GP and an inhaler done nothing to help to the point he stopped breathing and my cousins husband had to drive him to A&E.
We’re all devastated for them and I have nothing to say that could help their unknown future. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you cope? What can I say / do to help? Any advice welcome 🥺

Thank you so much for reading x

There is not coping. Just slow adjustment. Incremental steps.
Sorry to hear about the little one.
They should get lots and lots of support from therapists which will help him progress.

Thank you for your reply @paradyning. Yeah, little steps and adjustments sounds reasonable. He’s getting 24/7 care just now so I guess we just have to take each day as it comes x

They won't need tonnes of support just now. They'll still be in a whirlwind of hospital visits etc but please,be there as the years go on and this becomes their normal. If he has medical needs learn about them so you can provide respite, make sure you include them in things and understand if they decline. If you're visiting, ask if they need anything picking up. If they start to attend groups for disabled children offer to go with them to get them through the door.

You can't really do anything just now, the reality is they'll need the help when nobody thinks they do anymore.

Later, please don't minimise her concerns.
There's nothing worse for a mum whose child is different to be told 'all children do that' or 'they all do things in their own time' or whatever else you may think is putting a positive spin on things. it really isn't helpful in the slightest and everybody else will be saying similar to her and driving her to despair because no-one will listen or try to understand.
Listen to her concerns, please and don't minimise them, for her they are very real.

Thank you for your feedback @RubbingHimSourly. I agree about the support comment. They’re staying overnight at the hospital the now and told them we’ll help wherever we can but respecting their space to digest what’s going on and how to manage their situation. We’re a very tight family and will always be there for them & the little man no question. Good call about the groups suggestion, I would gladly attend anything to help and maybe even learn a thing or two in the long run.
@BlankTimes yeah, that makes sense. I’ll try to be as mindful like you say when she’s concerned about his development later on.
It’s all a waiting game the now and we’re waiting on the virus clearing up before he moves to the neurology ward and we can finally see him.
Thank you so much for your replies, they really do mean a lot x