When to tell nervous 5yo she’s having an op

[Kapowdee4]

My 5 yo (soon to be 6) dd is having a short op in November for grommet removal. She knows she’s having the op and she knows why she needs it. She was too young when she had the first op to have them put in and her tonsils out to remember it. She’s had her pre-op assessment so she knows it’s coming up soon.
I’ve had the date through and it’s 12th November. Now she’s a fairly anxious child when it comes to the unknown and after her pre-op assessment she told me constantly that she didn’t want to have the operation and all the various things she was worried about. I’ve obviously tried to put her mind at rest about all her worries. What I can’t decide now is when to tell her that she’s going to the hospital? Do I tell her now and use the two weeks to try and continue to put her mind at ease and talk it through and risk two weeks of unnecessary anxiety for her? Or do I wake up on the morning of the op, put her in the car and just deal with it all when it’s happening?
Help!

Don't tell her on the day! That's more likely to make her more anxious in the future as she'll never know what's going to happen when she wakes up! I'd tell her about a week beforehand to give her time to talk and it and process it.

I’d tell her a couple of days before so she has a bit of time to prepare but not ages to stress out.

I would tell her about a week before, at a time where you can talk without rushing. Be matter of fact.

I’d do some relaxation work with her, find some age appropriate calming techniques to do together so that she’s more relaxed in general, and that you can use in hospital.

Keep talking to her about things that you’re going to do in the future after the op so she’s looking forward to something fun/nice, but don’t relate it to the op. Build her optimism and anticipation of the future.

Have you got any books about bring in hospital? Stories as well as factual things? The library have them if not.

Be as specifically reassuring as possible, answer her questions.

Are you feeling anxious?

Our hospital have booklets for children explaining what will happen, things about the wards, beds, porters, nurses (not the actual operation obviously).

Ive found my youngest whose had several. Ops and very anxious is best knowing well in advance and we prepare his bag gradually in the coming week including new books etc

Ds had grommets (for the third time) when he was 6yo, and that was the only time he was nervous.
I told him about a week before and asked him to make some decisions.
For example, the last time he could eat was 6am. Did he want to go to bed late after a huge meal, be woken at midnight for a midnight feast. Or go to bed early and be woken at 5am to eat.
Then we had the choice of what to eat.

In the end he wanted to be woken for a midnight feast of marmalade sandwiches, then go for a scoot round the estate afterwards and come back for a hot chocolate.

He also chose his pyjamas to wear and I took his comfort toy. I also showed him a present to open when he woke up.

At the hospital I told them he was nervous, and they asked the play therapist to talk to him.

We also had the Usborne book about going to hospital, which actually has a child with a sore ear, and there was a Mr Tumble about being in hospital.

Don't tell her she'll be better afterwards. Ds wakes up very slowly, usually is sick, and his ears hurt. If I'd told him he was going to make his ears better he would have been very indignant.

I also reminded him about waking up in a room with the nurses and not me, and about having a canular in his hand, both of which he found difficult on the first two occasions.

Thank you so much everyone! I will tell her a week beforehand and take all those suggestions on. I’ve ordered the Usborne book. I do feel a bit anxious because I remember how awful it was watching her go under last time but I’m not portraying that to her at all. She knows I’ll be there and her favourite cuddly toy. Packing the bag together is a great idea too. Being a parent is so tough!