DD obesity and knee pain

[peachycore]

Hi. First time poster here but i've been on for as long as I could remember. My dd is 13 years old. She is very mature for her age and developed hips and breasts, started her period etc long before any of her classmates. I too was like this. All through dd's life she has had medical issues, she struggles with her breathing due to an issue in her nose (but she is now recovering from a recent surgery that she had done for her turbinates and adenoids! ) When she was born she weighed one pound and had IUGR. She was also two months premature and was born via a c section - she then went on to get severe glandular fever and nearly passed as a toddler. luckily she has survived it all and I am a proud mum The problem, however, is that all her life she has had an obviously bloated stomach. Friends etc have suggested that this may be from her swallowing air due to mouth breathing. Apart from that, though, she was fine. Not obese etc. When she hit puberty at around eleven she started gaining weight. She now has noticeably large thighs, arms, and has a slight double chin. She says she feels insecure about it all. She's a pear shape meaning that her hips are very wide in comparison to other features - I also have a pear shape and struggle with weight. I weighed her yesterday and it said that she is 170 pounds - she is 5"2, which I am sure is classed as obese I am quite concerned as she complains about knee pain often. She struggles to lose weight (only seems to gain) and has horrendously painful and extremely irregular (only happening twice a year etc) periods which may be to do with her weight. I really would appreciate some advice here and I only want what is best for my daughter, please help me out here

Sorry for the length! I just wanted to get it all out. Also had to refresh and repost as it wasn't posting, I apologise if the thread has copied

With the irregular periods you mention, she may have polycystic ovaries. It might be worth discussing with your GP.
I’m not good with pounds and ounces but if you put her info into the NHS website there is a BMI tracker which would tell you if she is obese.
Hope this helps.

@tweebee Thank you so much. I will look into polycystic ovaries. Just did the bmi calculator - says she is very overweight

At least you know now and you can sort something out to bring it down as she gets older OP, realising and wanting to act on it is a positive thing

@tweebee thank you

PCOS???

@blahblahblahblahhh I'll have a look

I would get her to the Drs. I think some weight gain in puberty is normal, I remember a few of us girls being a bit chubby at that age but 170lb for 5ft2 is very overweight. Whether it's a hormonal problem or just dietary assistance I would get help.

I think it’s also worth (although I’m sure you’ve thought about it!) considering how you will approach weight loss with her. It is a hugely sensitive time and teens can get very unhappy very quickly over food issues. I’d be inclined to really look up and research how to talk to her about it, along with a family focus on getting healthier so the focus isn’t just on her. Can I also very gently suggest that if possible you don’t make negative comments about yourself either? Especially not in front of her. It just reinforces negative connotations around food.

What about doing C25k together? My SIL has just done it with her kids, not overweight any of them but very unfit and she wanted them all as a family to get healthy. They now, a year on, do park run together and run 10k races with kids races attached!

Good luck. She may we’ll have underlying issues but if not, you sound like a lovely mum who wants the best for her

@badgerthebodger thank you so much! you sound like a lovely mum too C25K looks good - will ask her about it. It is definitely a very hard time...

@foodname will book an appointment - thank you all for the advice! xx

Ah, poor girl. This may sound off the wall, but given her early life history, in addition to the usual weight management measures, I would be looking to improve her gut flora, by means of probiotics, prebiotics, fermented foods and cutting down sugar and processed foods in favour of a higher intake of fruit and veg. It is looking like gut flora can make a massive difference to weight, inflammatory conditions and all sorts of medical problems. It can’t hurt, and could be an important plank in improving her health.

@tolleshunt That sounds very fascinating - will also read into that.

I'm no expert of how to approach the weight problem with her (my mum just kept nagging me I was fat, even thought I really wasn't), but how about changing eating habits together with her?

However you look at it, she needs to eat much less sugar/junk food/fizzy drinks, etc. Not talking about cutting food groups or treats completely, but eating less of it. Start eating much more veggies, healthy fats, fish, pulses, eggs, beans, some fruit. Skipping mayo/ketchup and the like. Less bread, pasta, chips, less potatoes. Also, don't be tempted with 0% fat food alternatives, fat is not your enemy, sugar is. Food companies eliminate fat from such products, but replace it with heaps of sugar for taste. So it's less filling and way more harmful than a normal full fat alternative. Plus seemingly 'healthy' foods: flavoured yoghurts, granola for breakfast, juices and similar - full of sugar.

Maybe you could tell her that YOU would like to lose weight and improve your health by making better choices, and maybe she would like to help you/support you in this? Just a thought. As she's a young girl and won't have enough will power and would feel hurt if she'd alone would be served 'rabbit' food and rest of the family eat 'normal' stuff.

About rabbit food. It looks like that from the start. It's difficult to change and it's not tasty at first (at least it wasn't for me). But if you persevere, you'll get used to it and will like it. I love my 'rabbit food' now, I really do :). Benefits to your health (and looks! :) ) are immense.

Also, get her to a GP, of course. Like other ladies said, it could be PCOS or some other issue.

Go to a gp about it all. I mean you can start feeding her healthier meals and going for walks get her more active but her being bloated and in pain surely that's something youd get checked out?