Newborn Jaundice - feeling like a failure

[Frizzy1986]

I'm wondering if someone can help me settle my nerves about newborn jaundice.
My daughter was born almost 6 years ago at just over 37 weeks gestation. She was fairly small at 6lbs 5 and over her first 5 days got increasingly bad jaundice.
My midwife essentially blamed me and said it was because she wasn't putting on weight as I wasn't feeding her properly. She had to go to hospital for light therapy and it was quite an emotionally traumatic time for me.
I had my son 3 days ago (he was 9lb 2) and I am increasingly panicked about jaundice and that he will have to go to hospital. I am making sure I wake him to feed him and doing everything I can as my babies seem to need to prompt, but I can see that he has some jaundice (not sure how bad it is though and won't until the midwife visits on Sunday)
Is there anything I can do to lessen it? Is there something I am doing wrong?
Like I said, last time I was made to feel that it was all my fault and I am feeling like a failure that it might happen all over again. Its making me very stressed and anxious.

Can you ring the midwife for a bit of reassurance? I can't give you any actual knowledge, but you are clearly doing your best.

How is he doing in himself do you think? Wet nappies?

Please look after yourself- you need to be well and happy for your children.

Hello! I'm not a medic or anything but didn't want to read and run. My kids also had jaundice but what they and your DD had in common was that they were born at about 37 weeks - Dr Google tells me that newborn jaundice is more common in early babies. Dr Google also tells me that a degree of jaundice is normal in all newborn babies and that it peaks at about 3 days after birth. So if you're seeing it now, it's probably normal, and it'll probably start to improve (of course you should trust your instinct though and phone the doctor if you're worried).

That midwife was a cow. There are some people who seem to go into "caring" professions just to have the opportunity to kick people when they're down, I wonder if you got one like that. You should have been supported and encouraged in continuing with breastfeeding, not blamed for something you had no control over.

I hope your DS's jaundice starts to look a bit better soon but please don't think you're to blame or a failure if it doesn't. You're really not.

Is it all over or mostly face? Does he get a lot of natural light? If you're in the uk you'll have regular Midwife/HV visits which will pick it up quickly - I don't think you need to worry. If it's mostly his face and the whites of his eyes are white I'd not worry and see the midwife for an opinion when they next come out. Get him in a lot of natural light in the meantime with walks in the pram and time in front of the windows or in the garden (wrapped up obviously but face exposed). Please don't worry, it isn't anything you've done. You sound a lovely mum. A lot of babies are born with some degree of jaundice and it goes away naturally once the bilirubin levels drop. Normally a week or two but you'll see HV and midwife before then. A quick gp visit will settle your mind if you're still anxious.

There’s one person who fucked up here OP - that unpleasant midwife who blamed you for your DD’s jaundice.

You’ve done nothing wrong at all! My DC1 had jaundice, it didn’t even cross my mind to feel responsible and no one made me feel bad about it.

Congrats on your DC Lots of self compassion now please!!

Hello. I'm sorry you're worried - I hope that you're going to have an easier first few weeks with your new little one.

My ds was born at just 37 weeks (6lb2oz) and had to go back into hospital for jaundice. It was miserable because we were in over Christmas, and I was with him for three days, sleeping on a chair whilst trying to establish breastfeeding and keep him calm in the UV box (and trying to recover from a difficult birth - making sitting in a chair for three days very uncomfortable!)

The safe/acceptable levels of bilirubin are based on the babies age/gestation time. We were told that if DS had been born a few days later then the levels he had would have been monitored at home, rather than requiring hospital treatment... hopefully the fact that your new baby is bigger (and perhaps was born closer to their due date?) will mean that they can cope with slight jaundice (which is very, very common) without needing treatment.

I'm now 37 weeks with my 2nd baby - and hoping this one will stay in for slightly longer....

Whatever happens, baby jaundice is absolutely not your fault. There's not much you can do about it, apart from feed as much as possible and get out into the sunshine (if there is any!) - and luckily it is usually easily treatable, even if having to go back into hospital is really crap.

Most babies are sleepy for the first week. If you are breast feeding then wake to feed every 3 hours from the start of the previous feed. So if you start feeding at 1 then start the next feed at 4.

Some jaundice is normal but if your worried then ring the community midwife and get them to come out tomorrow. If you don’t have a number to ring then call the maternity ward and they will be able to contact the community midwives,

Op you had a horrible midwife and a stressful time with your first and this is hormonal pp anxiety triggered by that.
You are doing a great job, you are a great mum, please go easy on yourself. Can you get a midwife to you sooner? For your own wellbeing, not the jaundice. There's nothing you can do about that except natural sunlight - some babies just get it. If he does need to go in it won't be your fault and he will be OK. He probably won't though.
But yes, try to see a midwife sooner to explain how you are feeling so she can reassure you xx

What a hateful cow that midwife was!

Check out the nhs website for reassurance - 60% of all babies have jaundice and 5% of babies need treatment. It's normal, and nothing for you to blame yourself for at all. Lots of feeding and natural light will help, but it's just one of those things! Congrats on your new baby...you sound like a great mum

You don’t have to wait for the midwife. If you are worried baby looks jaundiced and want to know go to your local A+E, they will check the levels.

@Frizzy1986 your previous midwife was talking out of her arse. Its common in newborns born early to have jaundice. DS2 was born at 36wks +6 and had to have 60 hours of light therapy.

OP I'm still only a 5th year medical student, but your first baby having jaundice was NOT your fault.I'm sorry you had a sh**ty midwife when you were feeling so vulnerable.

Wishing you all the best for this pregnancy.

Thanks all.
Ds was born on his due date so further along than dd was.
Midwife had the first visit yesterday and I mentioned I was worried, but she said the whites of the eyes were good. They are definitely more yellow now.
I didn't realise that day 3 can be a peak. Hopefully things will get a bit better over the next few days.
I'll definitely stick him by the window. I'm still suffering after having a bad tear and surgery to repair it so can't really walk very far.

I was also in around Xmas with dd. Well she surprised us on Xmas eve and then had the jaundice 5 days later when all my family were visiting to meet her. It meant I spent the whole time my family were there in hospital with her so they didn't get to see her. Plus with the hormones, I was an emotional wreck.

Same here in that 36 weeks ds had light therapy - never crossed my mind it was my fault.

Reckon you're OK to set that bundle of guilt aside OP.

Jaundice is horrible and definitely not your fault.
Are there plenty of wet and dirty nappies?
kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/
That's the best way to tell whether they are getting enough milk. You could call the National Breastfeeding Helpline to chat through how feeding is going as well. You're doing great waking to feed. You could also try lots of skin to skin as that often makes them feed more.
www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/
Hang in there

Both mine have had jaundice it is not your FAULT!!!

My first was early and needed the light therapy, second looked awful to me, but midwife said she was fine.
Forget what she said to you, it wasn’t your fault.
I had preeclampsia with my first and was told by the midwife it was my fault for smoking! Don’t even smoke 😑

Thanks.
2 dirty nappies today (yellow and curdled) and 4 wet.
Milk is starting to come in too so hoping that will help.

Not your fault at all op. Try making sure plenty of natural light. Maybe sleep by the window?

My DS2 had prolonged jaundice that didn't clear until he was 8 or 9 weeks.

We were readmitted on day 3 for light therapy because his bilirubin levels were high and he was super sleepy and struggling to feed (transpired he also had a very severe tongue tie). No-one ever suggested it was my fault!

We had follow up blood tests at the hospital when he was still jaundiced at 4 weeks but his levels were under the limit that causes concern and he didn't need any further treatment. We were told it could take up to 12 weeks to properly clear.

DS2 is now 5 months and shows no sign of jaundice. Also bf's like a demon after we had the TT snipped on day 8!

Honestly OP you're doing a great job. See if the midwife can come again for reassurance but the wet and dirty nappies sound really positive. Congratulations!

My DD had jaundice which needed phototherapy and it clearly wasn't my fault but I do remember feeling like I'd somehow failed her because of hormones. We had issues with feeding and I saw a lactation consultant who was great. She put me onto the fact that neonatal jaundice, while easily treated, really isn't that well understood. In fact, recent science suggests it may be an adaptive response to infection: www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-24811-3 For some reason that kind of helped me feel better! She also encouraged me to give feedback to the hospital about how jaundice could be treated in a less traumatic way. Apparently there are things called biliblankets that enable you to hold your newborn while they are treated rather than put them in a box, which is clearly quite a traumatic way for both of you to spend some of your first days. Sorry about your crap midwife! What she said really wasn't accurate. If you are concerned about the jaundice getting worse this time (which can happen even if your baby is the best fed in the land and constantly full of milk) then check in with the midwife or doctor to get it treated. It's not something you are doing wrong. It's just one of those things.