Autism

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I'm starting to be concerned DS is autistic. He's nearly 17 months but doesn't walk or talk (we are under a paediatrician for his mobility) he hand flaps a lot and waggles his arms. He does respond to his name but not every time.
He isn't very affectionate with hugs but loves to kiss people. He hates having his hand held.
He makes eye contact and smiles a lot, not just at me but at people in the supermarket or park etc
He's generally very cheerful and happy.

I'm getting increasingly concerned but worried I'll be fobbed off by the GP. DH thinks I'm worrying about nothing (I do have anxiety) as does DM and PIL but something just doesn't seem quite right with him

Have you asked the paediatrician about your concerns? Might be worth asking next time you see them. Some children are slower to walk and talk than others and it might not mean there is an underlying reason but no reason not to ask paediatrician. It might be worth putting your post on special needs board for more responses.

I was concerned about my DS not talking at a similar age, but to be honest it’s a question of watching and waiting at this age. At his two year check I flagged my concerns with the HV, and at 2.5 we entered the (fairly poor) local NHS speech therapy system and was referred to a paed. The paed still suggested watching and waiting.

Anyway, long story short, he’s 4 now and most probably on the spectrum. Still awaiting an assessment. He has autistic traits and plenty of “non-autistic” traits too (sociable, eye contact good etc).

I understand how it is to have concerns and also suffer from anxiety. It’s hard to trust your own judgement sometimes.

It's hard to tell and diagnose at that age. My ds is 4 and has autism but is what they call "high functioning" and attends mainstream school. The things you are concerned about my son didn't have... He has excellent speech, walked at 11 months, makes great eye contact and is very affectionate - yet he still has autism. So it's difficult to say.