Autistic Behaviour

[GWENMUM1960]

Hi. So I am not a mummy but I am very close with my nieces, my middle niece who is 11 has Autism. She is a lovely girl most of the time and is very bright and knows the difference between right and wrong, but her attitude towards her mum (my sister) can be very nasty and she always does the total opposite and goes against absolutely everything we say to her and then becomes very difficult and argumentative and says some very hurtful things to her mum. She doesn't do this to anyone else and has a lot of friends and is very well liked by other adults and teachers and does very well at school. I was wondering if anyone else has these problems? Why does she do this to her mum? It has become very bad and when she refused to give her mum her phone the other day after being particularly nasty, I tried to take it from her and wrestled with her for it a bit and she hit me. We are at a loss as to what to do. Would appreciate any advice. Thank you.x

Would love some advice

I don’t know if you’ll do better on SEN section - my dd who is 8 always is nastiest to me as I’m safe, always most likely to meltdown with me, hit me. Can’t think of an insult I’ve not had thrown at me - she doesn’t mean it, the dc is reflecting the pain they feel back at you to get it out. What you can do helpfully is try and give your sister a break from the dc if you can - hard, my dd hates being looked after by others and is keyed up by it.

Remember your niece isn’t herself when she’s doings those things and she does really love your sister the most. It is galling at times to hear teachers describe a perfectly behaved child and act as though you are mad when you say they are different at home. I’m sure you are helping just by being there to see it.