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Portion control with very different siblings!

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deepflatflyer · 03/06/2019 20:45

Wondering who else has been in this situation.
DS1 is 14. Tall and skinny. Had food issues when very young (ASD/sensory) but now is a typical ever-hungry, teenager. Still won't eat many vegetables but will eat lots of fruit. Generally eats a fairly healthy diet. Always wants second helpings of pasta. And toast etc when he comes home from school. Very energetic. Runs around like a mad thing at lunchtime at school. Burns it off. Not worried about him individually however...

DS2 is 12. Average height for his age but stocky (and could run to fat, I reckon) Slower metabolism, sweet tooth. Just like me - I've had a lifetime of trying to keep my weight in check. Not particularly energetic or sporty, although has a brisk walk to school and back every day, and more walking at the weekends. So ...

Whilst I try to treat them equally (in all things), I don't think DS2 should be eating the same large portions as DS1. Because a) he's younger b) he does less to burn it off c) he's - basically - likely to get fat. He's already got the beginnings of a paunch, and it worries me.

I try to use just the excuse a) above when explaining why I give him a smaller portion of pasta. But he gets absolutely furious. He's very prickly in general and I really don't want to give him body-image issues by even insinuating that he might put on too much weight, but if I ignore it, I feel I'm not doing my duty as a parent.

We've had general conversations in the past about body types, and how everybody is different etc. They know that I am always trying to go on a diet (and failing) but I try not to let them know how much I dislike my own body. I try to encourage healthy eating for all of us, but I also allow treats etc.

Anybody got any interesting stories/advice about this kind of issue? I guess i need to have a straight conversation with him but he's very sensitive and likely to fly off the handle (which I can cope with) but also get a hangup about it. Just to add: he's obsessed with his appearance (hair and clothes), and very much interested in girls.

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