DC sent home with packet of powder paint

[Peleus]

This is probably the wrong subject to post in, but I don't know how to post in Primary Schools.
All children in DC's Reception class were sent home from school with a sealed packet of powder paint yesterday. Please don't ask why - I do know but don't want to give so much detail that my identify is revealed.
I had no idea that DC had the packet of powder paint because it was in school book bag and I don't look inside this until we get home. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, and have long stopped using a large mirror. Unbeknown to me, DC opened the packet of powder paint in the back of the car on the journey home and it went everywhere. Whilst I can see there may be a funny side to this, there is also a more serious Health & Safety issue. It could have gone in DC's eyes.
When I raised it with school today they said that, although they were sorry it had happened, all the children had been told at least three times not to open it.
Obviously I would preferred it if DC had done as instructed. But should a five year old really be made responsible for bringing home a product like this safely, without school mentioning it to parents at all?

They wouldn't have given a whole class of small children toxic paint! If the powder had got in your son's eyes I'm sure it would have been fine. Annoying, though, that he made a mess in the car.

In our school children would be given things like this to carry out in their hand at the end of the day, but really it's not a big deal. You should be more annoyed with your son for opening a packet of powder paint in the car!

Whilst it's a bit annoying that you'll have to clean the car up, I don't think the school really did anything wrong. I'd just use it as an opportunity to demonstrate to your little one why it's important to listen to teachers.

A nt 5 year old is perfectly safe to be left with a packet of child-friendly powder paint. If he'd got some in his eyes a) he wouldnt be badly hurt b) have learnt an important lesson in doing what you are told.

I'd be pretty pissed off. Doubt our school would do this.

More annoying than dangerous

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a 5 year old to do as instructed and it wouldn't have made a difference if you had known about it, I hardly imagine you would have made the effort to remove it from the bookbag. I can imagine that for the short journey in the car you would trust them not to open it.

I'm also unsure why you think the paint would be dangerous isn't it all non-toxic? I've known settings with 2 and 3 year old use powder paint to allow children to mix colours, it's not a health and safety risk.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone, to say 'I hardly imagine you would have made the effort to remove it from the bookbag' is a massive projection. How ridiculous. You don't even know me.

Yes, I of course I would have made the effort.. And yes, of course I would like my child to have done as the school instructed and not have opened the (large) packet. But five year olds are less likely to understand the consequences of not doing as instructed than seven year olds. Or do you disagree with this too? If you have ever had children, it begs the question as to what measures you used to ensure that they always did as they were instructed. Do share.

OP, I think most of us were just pointing out that powder paint isn't dangerous (as that seemed to be the gist of your original post), but that it was reasonable to be annoyed that your child had opened it in the car and made a mess.

Still, I would have been more annoyed with my child than the school. Even at 5 (or younger) my DC (who aren't particularly well behaved) would have asked before opening a packet of paint in the car!

I probably wouldn’t be bothered in this scenario as my three and five year olds would both ask before opening an unknown packet or toy.

This is not the right section, try AIBU.

For what it’s worth you seem annoyed that people have disagreed with you so maybe should just process this in your own head rather than asking the Internet and getting passive-aggressive when you don’t get people agreeing with you. In that respect maybe stay away from AIBU!

Also I’m pretty sure that you would not be exposing your identity by saying “the paint was for a stone painting homework”

Tbf, my four year old would
Listen to instructions (particularly if it was a teacher who had said it) and not opened it, so I would absolutely expect my five year old to do what he was told.

So like the powder stuff used on colour runs? I doubt there's much of an eye threat. I'd assume a five year old should tell you they got something from school and ask before opening it.

I think it’s its daft of a school to give 5 year olds powder paint at all, let alone in their reading bags, unknown about by parents. Insanity.

Anyone saying that 5 year olds should know better...well, maybe...but knowing & doing aren’t the same thing are they? If they were adults wouldn’t be doing lots of things they shouldn’t...

Impulse control is weak in 5yo’s.

Powder paint could ruin a car’s seats or house carpet.

IF for some unfathomable reason all the children needed powder paint, at the very least it should have been handed to the collecting adult.

I'm guessing it's something to do with Holi festival? Not sure why they sent paint home tho.

Can you explain why you think it's so dangerous? My main issue would be my child's disobedience.

The school told them 3 times not to open it. Your problem is your child didn't do what they were told.

Yes. A 5 year old should be responsible enough not to open it. I'd put money on the fact DD wouldn't have opened it aged 5.

I would be irritated by the school doing this, my ds would also have opened the packet. But it isn't a health or safety issue just a mess one.

A school has to play the percentages Yabbers. Your paragon may not have opened it, but I bet half the kids in Peleus's class did. And half the ones who didn't, only didn't because they forgot about it - and it'll burst in their bag at some point.

Bloody terrible idea all round.

Oh, for heaven's sake. It's not the school's job to take responsibility for everything your DC do not at school. Your DC did what they'd been repeatedly told not to do and made a mess, end of. Annoying but not dangerous. Tell off said DC and get them to help clean the car. Leave the school out of it.

I can't honestly believe some of the things people are wanting the school to manage for them on here.

It’s a daft idea but not a health and safety one more of a mess and annoyance one. Is this your first child?

Thank you everyone for your comments. I take on board that I should have posted in AIBU. As there was the potential for paint to go in DC's eyes (yes, that could have happened, and it would have hurt, even if it hadn't blinded DC. Please don't even suggest that DC would have deserved it for not following instructions)

It would not have been easy to get DC to help me valet the car once covered in paint as we have to park it someway up the street, and I was in a dash to get ready for my work. Not all children are the same in following instructions, and those who have replied don't know about my child, only about their own.

The Head did agree with me when I took it up with her again and has agreed with my suggestion that in future school will hand such items directly to the parents and not put them in the book bag. Thanks to BlackInk for mentioning that.

In my second post I was more reacting to another poster telling someone they don't knownthat I wouldn't have taken the paint out of the book bag even if I had known. Yes, of course I would, because I know my child.

I'm not going to follow this thread any more. It is true to say that I did not hear from Mumsnet what I wanted to hear, but in this instance I think that says as much about Mumsnet as it does about me.

It's not toxic and it's not the schools fault you were not paying attention enough to see him open it.

I'm not going to follow this thread any more. It is true to say that I did not hear from Mumsnet what I wanted to hear, but in this instance I think that says as much about Mumsnet as it does about me.

That’s a bizarre train of thought.

So to re-cap: parent neither watches their child’s actions, talks to them about their day on the way out to ask if they have anything to do/ etc as most parents do, shows an interest in what’s brought home that day (is the reading book there, any important letters etc).... yet everyone else is wrong?

On many levels this isn’t usually a problem because people check bags, have rules about opening stuff etc.

I’m not normally one to jump ion a poster but I feel quite sorry for the teacher, she’s properly thought of a thoughtful creative project for home an spent time on it (packaging all those individual paints wasn’t a 30sec job) and she’s had a complaint to the head from one of the less engaged parents. I bet her future homework’s will be sticking to worksheets off twinkle!

Peleus I feel for you. Many people post innocent questions only to be hit back with numerous nasty, condescending and patronising comments. Naturally you then get defensive and are THEN told YOU are the aggressive one.

It’s standard mumsnet BS, they don’t seem to have a filter. Or rather, they do but it’s just more fun to be a keyboard bitch and let off some steam. Glad you’re no longer following the thread, I wouldn’t bother either.

Scarletbitch your title suits you well. Of course OP wasnt paying enough attention to her child... Clearly you drive your car not looking at the road but staring at your child in the back seat right? Nasty little pointless comment.

Shooktothecore- you asked her if this was her first child? Why... because clearly by not having eyes in the back of her head while she’s driving she’s too useless to have raised more than one child? Nice.

Yabbers... my dd would never have done such a thing at that age. Basically your saying she’s a shit mum and your a better parent with a better behaved child because of one event you know virtually nothing about. Do you have any idea how that would make the OP feel and how much she would brood over a comment like that??

JuniperGin... from the OP putting in an innocent question and you knowing absoltuley nothing whatsoever about her you just called her ‘one of the less engaged parents’ in the school. That’s pretty impressive and not even remotely bitchy and uncalled for, congratulations.

To you all these maybe little digs, but you know absoltuley nothing whatsoever about the OP. Imagine for a moment that she’s going through some life issues right now and feeling a bit crap about herself. Comments like the ones you’ve made can do a hell of a lot of harm to someone and make them feel sroously inadequate. You’ve basically told her she’s a crap mum. Based on a simple and innocent post that says a hell of a lot more about you than it does her.