Worrying about autism

[Worryinglots]

Hi everyone,

Have name changed for this so it isn't too outing. I have a 7 and a half month old DD and I can't stop worrying about autism. It's mainly because I have a close friend with an autistic child, who keeps saying 'My child did that as a baby. If only I'd known. Get her assessed early if you can'. What she's referring to are the following:

Wrist twirling/stimming (mainly in her high chair and when tired. She doesn't do it if she's distracted - eg at a baby class).

Head shaking from side to side (again, only randomly and never when she's focused)

Only responds to name sometimes (which I thought was totally normal at this age!)

She plays with her food like sensory play unless it's obvious finger food (again, I thought this was normal!)

She very very rarely smiles at strangers, but unless she's under the weather, she's happy round people she knows.

Was fairly late to sit.

Doesn't babble (just makes noises).

I am losing sleep over this and wish I didn't know any of this (ignorance is bliss!). I know it's far too early to know, but I'm so worried.

You’re allowed to be worried, don’t feel bad.

None of what you have written is concerning though. Babies are sensory creatures and things like hand flapping etc are only a worry if they carry on beyond age 2-3 years. Shaking head side to side is really common and can be soothing or just feel funny. I read an article that 60% of 9 month olds head bang or shake their heads. It’s so common.

Name response emerges at 6/7 months and only tends to become consistent on average around 12 months (NHS cites it as a 12 month milestone)

Babbling isn’t considered delayed until 9/10 months so plenty of time. My DS went from very quiet to babbling loads overnight at about 8 months.

The lack of smiling at strangers is likely just her personality! She might warm up later. Being wary of strangers is not a bad thing.

Don’t worry. I spent the first year of my sons life worrying about autism. He’s 15 months now and has lots more positives than red flags.

Your baby sounds great :)

Unfortunately she has completely stopped smiling at us since I wrote this post. Have been to the GP and there's nothing wrong with her physically. I am so worried about her.

Do you have any family with ASD in any generation? It seems unlikely that it’s anything - maybe she’s a bit under the weather and not feeling great? Always good to visit the GP.

My son is autistic and he's awesome. So stop behaving as though it would be a huge tragedy. And you're in for a very stressful parenthood experience if you're this wound up over a seven month old behaving normally.

Anyway your first port of call would be the Health Visitor or GP.

Secondly, they wont care before she hits her 2 year review IME. This is normally done by Health Visitor. This ie because every child develops at different rates.

Finally it takes years to get a formal diagnosis and even after that there isn't a solution as such, the only support or strategies will come in the form of speech therapy or melatonin if sleeping is a huge issue.

I flagged up my son at 2, we finally got diagnosed at 5.5....and trust me, I was pushy.

You sound really anxious OP, It's worth going along to the GP just for YOU.

Sorry I have upset you @Banjax xx

I do second what’s been said about going to the GP for you. Post-natal anxiety is a nightmare and likely making you hyper vigilant to really typical baby behaviour. Take care of yourself x

@HeyJupiter it's only started really badly since I started my period again recently! It's due at any moment and I have been awful this week. I wonder if it's hormonal?!

It might be! My anxiety peaks before I ovulate - it’s so predictable now. As I said in my first post I became very fixated on autism too and it’s a dangerous path as there really is no way of finding definitive answers at this stage. Maybe keep a track of your really bad days and where they fall in your cycle.

@worryinglots I didn't mean to sound so aggressive, and understand that youre worrying, but at this age, your baby just hasn't reached the stage where anything she does or not is relevant, she's still tiny. Enjoy her and get to the GP for reassurance x

your baby sounds as normal as any other little baby
your friend however sounds like shes projecting her ideas onto you in hope that you get an autistic diagnosis too , so your 'in it' together kind of
if that makes any sense

@HeyJupiter I do wonder if it is exacerbating things, as I felt a bit out of sorts the week before my period came back for the first time. Apart from first trimester anxiety due to a previous MMC, I felt great during my pregnancy and had no hormonal moods at all! Something to think about anyway.

@Banjax no need to apologise! I will definitely make a GP appointment.

@simonisnotme I'm going to speak to my friend if she keeps bringing it up. You're right in that I think she's projecting.

@Worryinglots how are things now? X