Dad feeding constant junk

[UKWoman]

I’m so frustrated - trying to make my 4 year old healthier, she’s been eating barely any fruit & veg lately. Got a good fruity breakfast in her for the first time in a long time today, was so proud of her. Was encouraging her to eat some cucumber sticks later on which was a battle...husband then gave her a cookie, and is telling her she can have sausage & eggs for breakfast, he just doesn’t seem care (claims he does) he likes that she likes him more when he’s the one giving the treats. Him & his whole family are all clinically obese & I don’t want her to go the same way!
I can’t really challenge him on things - from the UK but live in NZ, all our families in the UK, if we fall out i’m completely on my own

I just don’t know what to do! 😔

I don’t really have much good advice but I can completely relate. My daughter has a good appetite and I try and encourage her to eat as healthy as possible but my partner gives her biscuits, chocolate etc all the time.

I am overweight and have struggled with my weight forever and I blame my mum for not setting a good example and letting me and my siblings eat whatever we want all the time. My partner is naturally very slim and doesn’t seem to understand my concerns as he’s never had them.

Have a good chat with your husband. Explaining how important it is to eat healthily and minimise treats. Treats aren’t completely banned here, far from it but eating habits are set from a very young age!

Do you have the equivalent of a health visitor over there?

Education. As in this food grows in the ground, this other 'food' is a bunch of random chemicals and the only reason I can think that anyone would give them to children is if they hated children. Take her shopping, read ingredients labels, chat about it. They're never too young to start learning.

Sorry I'm being facetious there but I file you get the idea. I've done this from thing with mine and it's standing them in good stead now their dad and I are separated and he's giving them all sorts of crap

I see where you’re coming from - my husband had a similar upbringing where he now doesn’t seem to realise it’s such an issue. I try & talk with him about his own weight & he makes it seem like he understands at that moment we’re talking but then nothing changes.

Would it help to write down everything she eats in a week and then add up how much sugar she’s actually getting through all those little treats? Maybe seeing how easily it adds up in black and white would show him how serious it can be? You can also show him how damaging sugar is to chidlren’s teeth rather than just the weight issue as that might not be getting though to him. Is there a cultural reason for the treats and fatty foods? I have some friends here with Polynesian and Maori husbands and it does make it more difficult when eating those foods is a big part of the culture.