Should doctors write to my 14 year old?

[HotChocalate3]

Hi
Took my daughter to GP for a follow up appointment after 3 months of treatment for anaemia. Went to children's hospital for repeat blood tests. Then she got a letter addressed to her saying she needed to make an appointment with the healthcare assistant at the surgery ( incorrect as under 16 they can't do ) & it had to be in the morning ( no information as to why & if it had to be before food although I wouldn't have thought so).
Will ring the surgery later but should the letter have come care of parent or guardian? Don't want to be picky and know children can see doctors confidentially but concerned she would have worried about it if I'd been out.
Do all healthcare letters get sent to the child?
Thanks

Are you in the UK? Medical consent for children here isn’t as simple as you’d think. Children under 16 only require parental consent for treatment etc until they are deemed competent enough to make the decision themselves. Once they are, even if they’re under 16 parents, doctors etc can not overrule them. It’s known as being Competent - google will explain it far better than I have!

I totally understand what you mean about your daughter worrying if she’d seen the letter first, and I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting it addressed to you. Just wondering if this is why it wasn’t!

My letters were addressed to me from age 12. I used to get a lot because I've had transplants etc. They are addressed to the child from the age that they are deemed Gillick competent, I believe, although at my surgery you can now request that letters are sent to you instead of your child as long as your child consents each year.

It would be unusual if she can't make her own appointments at 14. In most surgeries, you don't need to be 16 - that would be a massive barrier to people who needed appointments that they didn't want their parents to know about, such as for contraception.

Should of said Gillick competent. That’s why you should always preview your posts!

I had similar the other day. The surgery phoned up my mobile and asked to speak to DD. I said I am her mother, what do you want her for. They wouldn't tell me. Turns out that they need her permission for me to talk to them. You need to get your child to fill out a form at the GP's. My DD is really shy, and would never speak to someone she doesn't know on the phone, she always hands it over to me anyway. Complete waste of time. I still don't know what the call was about. They also asked for her phone number, which I declined, as she doesn't give her number out to anyone other than family or friends.

It is ridiculous really, as any parent will just fill in the form and get their children to sign. What's the point really? I get really frustrated by the double standards of parental responsibility versus childrens rights. As far as I am concerned I am responsible for the health and welfare of my children until at least 16, and even then, my eldest DD have given consent for me to handle her health affairs, as it is easier when she is away.

Yeah, I'm not sure I agree with it either. I see the contraception argument, but if 12 year-olds are competent enough to make medical decisions by themselves that may have long-lasting health implications and require a fair bit of understanding of potential risks, side effects etc, why don't we give them the vote? A lot of adults find medical language etc confusing and while in theory it can be explained using age-appropriate language, in reality the nhs is fairly time and resource poor so I'm not sure how effective that would be.

Thanks for the replies, I have no objection to teenagers seeing a doctor alone if they prefer & did check if she wanted me to come with her.
We've now agreed she'll tell me when she feels ready to go alone as she rolls her eyes & says I'm making ' a big deal' , despite me pointing out I'm trying to respect she's growing up! She is aware she could get help with contraception & other things without me knowing but thankfully this is not required yet and I hope we would talk so I could support her in considering choices. For now she still wants me to go.
As it seems standard practice I'll not mention about who the letter was addressed to & just try & get a bloods form so I can take her to hospital to have them done.
Thanks to everyone for their help.

I think most letters are sent using an automated system. If clinicians are feeling particularly time-rich they may personalise it further, but mostly it's a case of clicking the follow-up appointment letter button then adding in the date and time. In the area in which I work there is a big emphasis on making sure young people feel empowered and involved in all decisions around their care. At 14 we'd probably address the letter to the patient rather than their parent, but parental attendance at appointments would still be the norm, iyswim, and we do encourage parental involvement wherever we can. It can be a bit of a minefield on occasion and everyone is different.