My step daughter is 13 and very overweight and I'm concerned for her health and self image. She doesn't live with us but has been staying for the week and we've seen quite clearly how bad things have got. Otherwise we tend to see her at weekends but she rarely stays.
We've being trying subtly to get her interested in healthy eating by preparing food with us and limiting snack, but in one week we can't make a huge difference. She's quite picky with food and likes high fat, high sugar and processed carbs. She is used to huge portions and eats when she's not hungry. Clearly there are some very bad habits being instilled at home - I know that she is allowed to eat and snack indiscriminately. She has an older sister (18) who is also terribly overweight and the girls' mother is obese. It's an awful thing to say but whilst her mother is loving I feel she is very neglectful of her daughters' needs.
My step daughter does not appear to be concerned about her weight but I can't really tell what goes on in her mind. She is not interested in her appearance, won't' shower unless she's forced (greasy hair and BO) also still sucks her fingers like a tiny child - I think this should be discouraged too. I should add she's a lovely girl and bright as a button but seems socially very immature. It hurts dreadfully to see such her on such a destructive path.
I suggested to my husband he have a word with her GP or teacher because there is no way he can bring the subject up with his ex wife as she becomes aggressive and refuses to let him to see his daughters. She's done this before. Believe me, she is not reasonable if she feels her parenting is called into question.
He's quite defeatist and worries about his daughters but I feel that if he doesn't try and fight their corner then who will? He can get extremely tetchy with me on the subject so I tread with great care. He thinks the GP would have to get past their mother and it won't work.
I don't think it would be good to discuss it with her - I mean how could anyone do that without causing a real issue?
I'm worried about her long term health - it makes me angry and sad as I feel I'm observing a car crash in slow motion. Is there anything else we can do to get her some help?