Bed wetting teen ostrich syndrome

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So ds1(16) has been a consistent bed wetter his entire life. We first saw the doc over ten years ago, linked to encopresis, but have had no success. He last saw health professional a few years ago. He won’t use an enuresis alarm (he destroys the wire - says he doesn’t know how ie in sleep), won’t consider taking medication (just says nope) and won’t go back to the gp, paediatrician, or anyone else to discuss.

He has one year left at school, and will then have to deal with this on his own at university/ whatever he does. He fails to deal with it at home. (He has slept on his sofa for the last three nights because his bed has become unbearable. So my task today is to launder everything, and try and rescue the mattress. Another one.
One psych told us to not provide him with new bedding, and to require him to clean and launder everything himself, and to remove the mattress if it got soiled. He does the washing sometimes but right now there is a giant pile.
He’s a total ostrich. Won’t consider talking to anyone. Won’t take meds. Won’t admit that this is a problem outside the house. Claims it isn’t. It doesn’t matter if I remind him that it is - we have to strip beds in b&b/ hotels and take protective mattress pads with us.
Dear readers. What the actual fuck can I do? He’s 6 feet tall, a cracking kid, but the most stubborn man child to walk the earth.
Does anyone have any ideas? At all?

Does he have incontinence during the day?

I'd leave him to it tbh. As harsh as it may sound, he needs to face the natural consequences of not seeking support.

I know you said he won't talk to.anyine but Is he under a continence nurse?

He is, almost, at the age where he will grow out of this. I had a bed-wetter and worried myself sick about her leaving home, but the problem seemed to go away. I know of another friend who had a son with the same problem, and again it stopped about the time they left home and went to university. By all means leave him to get on with things, but in this weather, I would not have smelly bedding sitting around festering. I would, however, ban him from sleeping on the couch. Fine if he doesn't want to talk about this or see a professional for help, but he needs to follow your rules in your house and sleeping on the sofa would be out. If he wet that, it is a whole new ball game.

I also do not agree with not buying him a new mattress when the need arises. That is cruelty. However, he needs to contribute some of his pocket money or wages if he has a part time job, to help cover the costs.

I totally feel for you, as it is utterly soul destroying.

No incontinence during the day. He is a really really deep sleeper, always has been. Dd1 had similar problem but we fixed that with enuresis alarm and she was dry in a few weeks at 7. No incontinence nurse - he hasn’t seen anyone for a few years now. It is better than it was - he had issues during the day too for years, but a lot of that was withholding (he wouldn’t use school it public washrooms - he would go in them and stand, and then come out, not use them - we think because he was worried people might hear). The outreach worker got him through that, so we are just dealing with the night stuff now...

Has he used desmopressing before, it's really simple you sniff it?
It really strange that he doesn't want to go to a doctor about it, but it's also understandable, it's a very embarrassing thing.

Both my DC were really deep sleepers. I could have smothered both of them without either of them putting up a fight. DC1 would sleep through the bed wetting alarm. She has severe allergy problems, so trialling a new drug was a dangerous thing. We just had to hope she grew out of it and in the end she did.

My Ds had problems in the night-although he was not quite as old-
does your DS snore or sweat at night?
My GP made a link to sleep apnoea (think because my DH has it) and this can be a symptom of it.
DS had his tonsils out-stopped immediately.
Good luck OP

My two both stopped bed wetting with hypnosis. Very effective. I later trained as a hypnotherapist and found using hypnosis for bed wetting to be the one thing that always worked. Would he consider that?

He’s sweaty (or at least he used to be as a kid - I’m not sure how much creeping round a 16yo boy’s bedroom I want to be doing!) but doesn’t snore.
We tried hypnosis years ago (probably when he was 8 or so) and I have honestly never seen his issues so bad - it was almost as though his subconscious was fighting any attempt to control it by doing exactly the opposite. It was horrendous..
He has never tried the sniff desmo- I think he tried a tablet version very early on, but nothing for years.
I think I need to book an appointment myself and see what they suggest - I’m not going to get him there, but they might have some suggestions?